Monday, February 2nd (8:32 am)
At last every last family member is fed, including myself.
I'm pleased to say that Calavel came home this morning right after breakfast, as if she knew that there would be a new arrival waiting for her. In fact she even brought Shina a 'birth gift', as she calls it. I wish I was as in tune with Eilistraee as my teacher, her wisdom exceeds mine by many leagues. Though I will admit the last thing I had expected Calavel to pull out of her pack to give my Shina was a fluffy stuffed bunny...and of course that's exactly what she did.
Shina fell in love with the rabbit the moment her hands came in contact with its soft fur, hugging it to her while cooing softly. Now she has a trio of toys that I'm trying to convince her she cannot take with her everywhere, and losing miserably of course. Luckily Alimus has developed a soft spot for 'his cub' and is willing to tote her toys around like a living baggage cart.
Calavel pulled me aside and informed me that our Lady has plans for Shina, and that the child is blessed in Her sight. I had suspected as much, but to hear this from Calavel lifted my spirit up so high that the pain from before faded into the back of my mind. Surely Eilistraee would look after her if I instructed Shina in her ways, and protect her from having any more visions of such a damaging nature. Calavel has agreed to up my training in the ways of the Shadow so that I can be prepared to train my daughter for that path as well. I cannot force her to follow what I have become, but I can show her the road she may walk and see if she chooses to take it.
Which brings me to how Shina reacted to my moonlit dance.
We left the cottage a half hour ahead of schedule, as I wanted to be sure to give Shina time to get used to the chill before I could not hold her any longer. She was all bundled up in the light grey heavy cotton baby clothes that Cyoro and I had made days before Shina actually arrived, though I still believe Cyoro aided me with that just to help me keep my mind occupied and off the subject of my visions. Well, that and keep me from bleeding to death from poking myself with the needle over and over again by accident. At any rate, we walked through the ever-blooming cherry trees at a leisurely pace. I can only imagine what it must have been like for Shina, being carried along without knowing where she was going, her nostrils filled with the nearly overpowering scent of cherry blossoms from all directions. I'm fairly sure that she also gave a small sigh of relief when we reached the clearing around my favorite hill, one of the few spots in the Wanderers' realm not covered with those trees.
We hiked up the small hill till the moon and the stars of the bright night sky felt like they were our only company beyond ourselves. I love that feeling...those are the times I feel closest to Eilistraee. I handed Shina down to Alimus, and he morphed into his elven form to hold her for me. I explained to Shina that her mommy had brought her out onto a hilltop to perform a dance for her goddess, a goddess who loved and watched after her mommy. She simply stared straight forward with her blank eyes, but she nodded after I was through talking. That was enough for me, and I turned to walk forward several feet into my 'dancer's circle'. For every worshipper of Eilistraee the dancer's circle is composed of different materials, and often means something different to each dancer. My circle is a wide pattern of obsidian stones, each smoothed to glimmer in the moonlight like fallen stars. Just a simple circle, I like to think that my dancing makes up for the lack of detail in my chosen 'temple'.
I started as I usually do, kneeling and looking up at the moon to fully appreciate its glorious light. I removed my b*****d sword, Heart Seeker, from its sheath and laid it in front of me with the blade facing west. I unbuckled the strap holding the sheath to my back and discarded it, tossing it over my circle to land in the grass. I slowly did the same with the rest of my clothing, from the top down. Finally I was standing in the proper beginning posture, bare from head to toe as my beliefs required. The 'dance of the moon's glory' begins with the dancer stretching out both arms to their sides with the right leg balanced behind them with the toes of the foot pointed and touching the ground. The arms lift up towards the moon they are paying homage to before they sweep their pointed toe to the front, soon after gracefully bringing their arms back as they thrust their upper body upwards and put their weight on the flat of their right foot to point the left behind them. The dance then becomes a series of slow, flowing movements that takes the dancer all around their circle, gaining in speed and ferocity as they make their first 'phase' or journey around the circle. After the second 'phase' the dancer quickly bends to take up their sword and integrates it into their dance. Styles vary per the dancer, but my Heart Seeker is like a part of my body, I've used it so much over the years. My Heart Seeker and I are as one when I dance, the blade's frost magic activating in reaction to my excitement and leaving streaks of its icy aura in the air. The dance slowly winds down, the ending of the dance a personal matter for the dancer themselves. I often end mine in the same kneeling position that I began in, only I offer up my Heart Seeker to Eilistraee and remain as such for several minutes of quiet contemplation and prayer.
Alimus tells me that Shina had seemed to actually watch the dance, her small head moving a bit as I moved. She didn't make any sound at all, not a peep. She simply watched in her own unique way, however that is possible. During my 'time of reflection' I had a brief vision of what Shina once looked like..at least that is what I believe...or was this a glimpse of the future? Her wings were folded and at rest behind her as she was knelt as I, a crystal staff offered up towards the moon much as my sword was. Her eyes were closed and her head tilted back, her body bare as she seemed to worship in the moonlight...then it was gone, leaving me to stare up at the moon and then look down at the shimmering blade of my sword. An omen? I then heard a soft coo behind me, and rose to my feet to walk over and pick up Shina as she smiled up at me. Her smile will always warm my heart whenever I see it, I just know it.
Ah, that is enough of that I believe. It's time I took Shina to visit her fellow fa'e at the HQ, now that some of the Guardians will most likely be awake. Not to mention I have to do some shopping that I promised a friend I would do. I'll write again soon.
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