Welcome to Gaia! ::

Several months ago, I called my mother asking when she was going to be home from work-related travel. She had gotten home, but was rushing down to Savannah, GA with my father. The problem: my aunt and uncle, who live in Atlanta, GA were taking some R&R. They got into a golf cart and my uncle took a turn too fast. My aunt fell out of the cart and hit her head, hard. The following Monday, my uncle, with my mom and dad at his side, signed the order not to resuscitate her.

I grieved at the loss of my aunt. I shut myself in my apartment and didn't come out except to eat. The internet became boring, and a whole shift of personal priorities seemed to grab me. Never once did I even think about fan fiction as a way to start healing. Yet, in that grief, I went onto Youtube and tried to listen to some sad songs. By accident, I came across a song called, The Living Years by Mike & The Mechanics. An old 1980's song yes, but it seemed to echo what I was feeling at the time.

Thus, was born the fan fiction with the same title. Those crumpled bits of paper filled with imperfect thoughts seemed to echo the loss I was feeling at my aunt, even though we weren't very close. In my heart, this story was my memorial to my aunt.

As such, I pushed myself to write something worthy. Yes, I did historical research, I used multiple Beta Readers, got critiques, double-checked everything to make sure everything was correct, and various drafts that I went through and edited only God knows how many times. Was I impatient when I wanted a response? Yes, but story quality got the better of my impatience.

While I never really announced it in my fan fiction, The Living Years is my private tribute. Was it worth all the extra research, fact checking, and multiple critiques / Beta Readers? In the words of that moronic woman Sarah Palin, "You Betcha."

But announcing it to the public wouldn't have been right, in my own opinion. Her death wouldn't mean a damn thing to the people who read my stories. Besides, I'm not looking for sympathy - even fake sympathy from strangers. I just want to remember her and realize that the death of a loved one brings about a new way of thinking. Heck, some opinions I held before her death seem meaningless now. If there is wisdom in the death of a loved one, then sometimes I wonder why more people in this world aren't enlightened.

Then again, if the dead truly watch the living, then my aunt will know that this story is for her. Maybe, it's in own way, this story isn't really pandering to the usual crowd. That's alright with me. After all, maybe tomorrow, the Good Lord will take you away.