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 Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 9:30 am
Now, the Iguana Poetry of FWAP came to be when wasabichan posted the following poem in this thread. wasabichan I have decided to contribute a little poem of mine. It came to me as I was putting off going to the toilet. It goes something like this: If I was an Iguana My life would surely be full of drama; All those sharp and scaly claws, There's bound to be a few odd brawls... Pure genious, I'm sure you all realize, I dare you to write a better one! Creek..Feet proceeded to accept the dare. Creek..Feet Can't resist a dare. Took me a month nearly, but I can't resist a dare. Although I love your poem I will try to write if not a better one, then at least... another one! First, I finish drinking my tea so that I will be writing it while putting off going to the bathroom. With each tiny dry scale you somehow fail to thrill me. I secretly fear you're secretly here to kill me! When I'm alone at midnight you phone to hiss in my ear. You open my mail, you whine and you wail, you piss in my beer. Iguaaaaaa---na! I didn't want an iguaaaaaaaa-na! I'll call the SPCA and they'll take you away to Botswaaaaaaa--na!
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:07 am
Oh my gooood!
Chilecavy, you'll have to delete my poem. I don't want it to be any more, now that the true meaning of iguana poetry has been made clear to me. burning_eyes
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:31 am
Tut tut. What nonsense. Your initial iguana poem stands forever honored as the genesis of the genre.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:10 pm
I've now recovered from that terrible shock.
God! To be outrhymed, my mind had a block!
Using the game which I fancy the most,
Another poem this thread shall now host.
Nothing I write outwrites what Creeky's written,
Alas! With Iguana-fever I have been smitten!
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 9:05 am
Stayin' Aloof
(to the tune of Stayin' Alive, by the Bee Gees, theme song of the movie Saturday Night Fever.)
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk
I'm a lizard-man: no time to talk.
Though I may grow to six feet long
I'm not a dragon: don't get me wrong.
And now it's all right - it's O.K. -
And you may look the other way.
You can watch me eat my greens
but spare me all your squeamish screams.
Whether you're a zoologist or whether you're a herpetologist,
I'm stayin' aloof, stayin' aloof.
You want me for a pet but there's no love you can get
'cause I'm stayin' aloof, stayin' aloof.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Stayin' Aloof!
For the record, the original:
Stayin' Alive
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm.
I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right - it's O.K. -
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
You're stayin alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and ev'rybody shakin'
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, Stayin' Alive.
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Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 12:16 pm
Geckos are so sweet, but small,
Comodo, you're just outright scary.
Skinks don't stink but like to crawl,
Chameleon, your appearance vary.
Iguana, you still top the charts -
may you ever be covered in warts!
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Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 9:20 pm
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:48 am
Mold (creeping into the topic through a back door): "Yes, very nice, now write one about Mold."
*Infects topic*
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:53 am
Hey! What is all this greenish creepy stuff doing in here?! And what's with the spores they're shooting at me? I'm going to..... .......... ......Aaah. I feel so.... assimilated..... must.... write.... mold....poetry.....
We're the grand collective of MOLD
and worth ten times our weight in gold.
Our plan: to colonize this thread
and possibly - that stale old bread.
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:38 am
*pokes*
Well, I must say, that is a rather nice poem...I cannot bear to divulge you from this thread. Happy poeming ^.^
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:56 am
We're glad you like it, we did our best!
Nice that you came, nicer that you left!
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:23 am
(Sung to the tune of "Jerusalem")
And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon mouldy mountains green
And was the hellish kite of God
On mouldy cheese and cookies seen
And did the fungousness divine
Shine forth upon our rotted hills
And was GMC* builded there
Among those dark Hellkiteic mills
Bring me my bowl of coffe cold
Bring me my spores of desire
Bring me my fruit that's growing old
Spare me your chariot of fire
I will not cease from mental fight
Nor shall my sword sleep in hand
'Til we have built our GMC
In kitchens green and bathrooms grand
'Til we have built our GMC
In kitchens green and bathrooms grand!
*GMC=Great Mold Collective
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:34 am
I'm gonna tell Mama
I want an iguana,
all blinky and scaly
just like a piranha.
I don't want some flora,
I'd rather have fauna.
I'm gonna tell Mama
I want an iguana.
© I'm Gonna Tell mama I Want an Iguana
poem by Tony Johnston
I thought it should be here.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:00 am
Iguana Poetry
I got a pruney.
Iguana Anagram
A grim gnu - naaa!
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