HEY. MY NAME... IS SMELLY POTATO.

Seriously. My parents were crack junkies. They threw me out of our shack when I was eight years old, and I lived on the streets for six years. then I met two lovely people (now my wives), Caitlin and Beth, who took me in. We're all hapily mariied in Mexico, shooting tequila and dealing in chocolate. I'd say that's about it! Oh, and I'm secretly gay. DON'T TELL CAITLIN! She'd be heartbroken. (But Beth's just in it for the chocolate.)

(I'm into Jimmy Neutron. He's the hottest male model alive.)