About

I'm a mule of Allisino's. My name came from a spam email; doesn't it sound like some nimble spy's moniker? Actually, here's a few more spam names she's received lately, all cohesively woven into a fun story for you:

Brandishing his magnifying glass with renewed furor, he traced what seemed to the average person an imaginary trail through the scene of the crime. "Egads!" he shrieked, grasping a tiny black sinew from the sidewalk with his tweezers and scrutinizing it. "Methinks this appears nothing less than a shred of BROILED BICEP!" He gazed thoughtfully at it for no less than two minutes and twenty-six seconds, twisted it around at all sorts of strange angles, even sniffed it as though it was some sort of exotic delicacy. Another minute of inaudible staccato muttering followed. "It seems to me," he finally burst forth, "that this is most certainly not the work of the infamous PSYCHOTIC CLODHOPPER as everyone believes. No, we have here a completely different modus operandi.. someone bears an incredible hatred toward those with fine upper appendages. Far from 'humerus', the results are quite sobering. I conclude we are looking at the crime of none other than.. a MEAN-SPIRITED TUBA PLAYER!"

With a satisfied smirk, he popped the collar of his trenchcoat and turned smartly on the heels of his buckled galoshes. "They don't call me QUICKSTEP MALONE for nothin'!" He gathered his airsoft rifle (with laser scope!), a sack of banana peels and a bottle of valve oil and raced off to capture the villain.