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1998 The New Addams Family Quotes:
"A woman likes a man who breaks the rules once in a while. After all, isn't that what romance is all about?" - Morticia
"If you can't have a senseless bitter feud with family, who can you have it with?" - Gomez
"You have to learn to be insensitive to each other's needs." - Fester
"Be it ever so dismal, there's no place like home." - Gomez
"Dating is for the vultures." - Fester
"No running in the house allowed without scissors" - Morticia to Pugsley
"Patience. Rome wasn't burned in a night" - Morticia to Gomez
Gomez' secret for a happy marriage: "Never go to bed angry, or on fire."
Regarding the children: "We try to encourage their young minds to wander" - Morticia
"Of course - cash - the currency of love" - Gomez
"A mother knows her son's skull better than anyone." - Mama
"If razor sharp delivery and lightning speed don't work ... cheat!" - Gomez
Wednesdays' Words of Wisdom:
"When hanging someone by the foot, it is important that their hands not touch the floor. Otherwise they can get splinters."
"When burying someone alive, it is more humane to do it after they have eaten, so they wont be hungry too."
"When throwing someone down the stairs, it's important not to push too hard, otherwise you can pull a muscle."
"When setting Santa's beard on fire, it's best to use a blowtorch. Matches can burn your fingers."
"When firing a crossbow at someone's head, it's best to do it at close range. That way the air can penetrate the cranium smoothly." That was rebutted by Sam Sedgewick with: "Actually, it's best to do it at medium raange. That way the arrow has a better chance of piercing both sides of the bone."
"Houseguests should be eaten and not spared."
"When smashing a guitar onstage, it is always best to do it over someone's head. Otherwise you might scratch the floor."
"When burying someone alive, it's best to pack the dirt nice and tight. Otherwise they won't have trouble breathing."
"When meeting a stranger for the first time, it's best not to expose your fingers, otherwise they might get bitten off."
"When being tortured, its best to take a deep breath before screaming. That way your cries will echo much longer."
Morticias' Wise Words:
"When socializing with others, it's best not to put glass in their iced tea. Cyanide is more effective."
Gomezs' Attempt:
"A man who doesn't tell the truth, is like a horse with one leg missing."
These are but a few quotes from the newer series.I may add ones from the old tv series.
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"Nothing says forever like a hole in the ground."
"Bigamy is a game few men can play or win, unless it involves siamese twins"[/color:df5d67974a]
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