About
I, (your name), who will now be referred to throughout this document as "The Curious", understand that by signing this document I am entitled to my judgment(s) on the subject, Nihlani, who will now be referred throughout this document as "The Lady", and that the subject, The Lady, is entitled to not give a crap about anything I, The Curious, do or say in regards to this document or The Lady for which this document speaks.
I, The Curious, acknowledge that The Lady does not care to hear about how The Curious or The Curious' friends feel(s) about The Lady. The Lady is already perfectly aware that the whole world does not adore The Lady for all of her wonders and charm. The Curious will not point out that she, The Lady, is aloof, callous, or sink to the point of attaching the name "The B!tch" to The Lady. The Curious will understand that The Lady is quite aware of her capabilities where The Lady's sometimes short-fused temper is concerned and I, The Curious, am aware that if The Curious does or says anything to evoke the wrath of The Lady, that The Curious must blame themselves for their stupidity and leave The Lady to her business.
Nihlani, The Lady, will have The Curious know that she, The Lady, does not mean to seem so irritable. The Lady can actually be quite friendly and encourages The Curious to talk to The Lady. When and if I, The Curious, do engage The Lady in conversation, I, The Curious, cannot claim that The Lady did not warn me ahead of time that she, The Lady, is loopy, eccentric, can be very shy or quiet, and sometimes possesses an attention span shorter than that of a two-year-old or goldfish.
I, The Curious, realize that The Lady will put effort into a friendship if I, The Curious, wish to befriend The Lady. The Lady will not tolerate The Curious not putting equal effort into friendship with The Lady, so I, The Curious, will not take this matter lightly if it comes to this. The Curious acknowledges and comprehends that The Lady is not interested in anything more than friendship because The Lady has already been claimed.
I, The Curious, will not waste my time OR The Lady's. The Lady is good enough to waste her own time wisely without help from The Curious.
I, The Curious, will discuss something other than video games while around The Lady. The Lady's natural habitat is under a rock and The Lady does not leave her home often enough to be able to understand what The Curious is babbling on about. I, The Curious, will not make fun of The Lady for her n00bishness because The Curious will not want to hurt The Lady's feelings -- this would evoke The Lady's anger. If The Curious hurts The Lady (mentally or physically), The Lady's Boyfriend will wreak vengeance upon The Curious and The Lady will simply laugh in the face of The Curious as The Curious suffers at the hands of The Lady's Boyfriend.
I, The Curious will not make fun of The Lady for her hobbies. The Lady will have The Curious know that she, The Lady, finds knitting, sewing, and making costume jewelry very enjoyable. Whether The Curious agrees or not is up to The Curious, but I, The Curious, will not offend The Lady for her habits. The Curious will not poke fun at The Lady's "fiction addiction" or The Lady's skills where writing is concerned. The Lady works very hard on her half-finished stories, poetry, and song lyrics. The Lady's pride in her work is not a laughing matter, even if The Lady's work may sometimes be. The Lady understands that The Curious is entitled to a giggle if The Curious thinks that The Lady is odd for collecting teddy bears or scrap booking.
I, The Curious, will never say anything demeaning about The Lady's family and friends. The Lady loves her family and friends and will not rest until The Curious feels sincerely sorry for speaking that way about them.
Signed:
The Lady
X (your name)
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