Journal
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
The scattered jigsaw of my redemption laid out before my eyes. Each piece as amorphous as the other. Each piece in its lack of shape a lie
I stay my breath to escape this slavery. I stay my breath to re-awake and face death encore
My ignorance cast in the mold of all things absolute. I sustain forever my gaze, a stare fixed on the distant oblivion. Resting in the inverted state of death, non-sensory matter. As all the earth, the wind, the fire, the sea, behold and learn to pity me
Mutiny of self. Insurrection games, convincingly performed. Incapacitated, by physical thoughts, acting out the will, of terror and doom. Have the bridges, of insanity, been crossed, and forever retracted? Am I standing, among a thousand selves? Is the multitude, of laughter, mine alone?
I'm the soil beneath me soaking up the sustenance of my own death. Alive, multicolored, twitching in their dead monochrome world
A lie to maintain equilibrium, to hold me in this dead realm - this last ever dream. I'm the thought that never crossed my mind - disguised in the evident. Forever unredeemed
Perspectives distorted The level beyond our grasp The twin-faced serpents forever hidden Where's the true knowledge -Where engines of the sane and insanity merge The clarity. The unity
Reality untouchable, transparent, invisible to our fixed, restricted fields of vision.
Committed to a lie we cannot see, cannot know nor comprehend. We are all asinine drones kept in the dark, kept in line
Humanity peeled from our bones. Deprived of integuments that make us real. Shadows of flesh to maintain the system. Our own blood splashes as we kneel.
Conception derived from misconceptions. The dimensionless features of truth. Silence in the core of undoing. Untie its knots and set it loose
My receiving eyes, cut to sockets. blindness induced, to prevent horror.
Metallic blades implanted, past my ribs, to save me from, the dues of inhalation.
I tear my worldly, useless skin. Staple and pin it, over my ears. Non-receptive of unholy sounds, I've disable the audio-generator of their control.
My feet I crush, the flesh I cut away, so as to not produce, the sound of their presence, on rotten ground.
Self inflicted fractures. I rearrange, my pathetic tissue. I incise, I replace, I'm reformed.
I eradicate, the fakeness, the pre-pretence, of me. I elevate me, to a higher, human form.
Back again, within myself. Asleep & aware, i'm lost again. Every time, i close my eyes, I enter the dream, to which I live. I wake to change, into a state, where life is dust, and everything blows. I circling above, the swirling seas. My eyes upraised, toward the unknown.
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But im not unhappy. Im just tired.
Not sleepy tired, Im tired of my life.
Nivy misses you
I think about you sometimes. It makes me smile. I hope your feeling as amazing as I am.