About

Tonight there is no need for words; it is the endless night of nights. It is the eternal night that shall not end and tonight is the night to change it all:

~Principle thru realization, realization thru self ~



"Consanguinitas atque aequus rosetum vinum.Cave Adsum, ille illiact dice. Justus et puis"

The blood and ashes of your kin are like roses and wine. Beware I am here and the dice have been caste. The ever just and faithful.

"Look beneath the surface if it is me you wish to find, I am something you have seen once half remembered from a childhood dream. I see the invisible river of tears that run down your face as razors down marble. Sit with me in the darkness while I wipe away your tears. Let my cold embrace wash away the pains of mortality for who knows these feelings more then I. I who art of their creator. I cry for those who cannot, I carry their burdens when they are weak. No they are not strangers unto me, for they are all my kin. Victims of mortality."



"We had known what it was to have everything we wanted, Real love, Real security and to lose it all. Sometimes it is not the light in the person you fall in love with, but the dark. Sometimes it is not the optimist you need, but another pessimist to walk beside you and know, absolutely know, that the sound in the dark is a monster, and it really is as bad as you think. Did that sound hopeless? It didn’t feel hopeless. It felt reassuring. It felt....real"



"A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist."



I am known by numerous alias`s...some may know me as Vampyric...others as Leviathan...and others as Josh...I am a Feral untamed wild talent, plain and simply stated.



I am 23 but most times age holds no bearing on myself, At times I am told I am beyond my years and then go to the store to get ID`d for buying movies. I am between 5`10" And 6" blond hair ever changing eyes and weight 130 lbs. of solid well-toned muscle.



I am a natural born Scorpio with a taste for lovely things all around. Though I do prefer to be surrounded by those who are intellectual, highly intelligent or have innate natural abilities that set them apart from the rest. Every word is a spell woven and every action is a ritual done. The most complex people are often the most simplistic creatures, unlike anyone others will come to meet. I am a shadow walker who is a child of all walks and a student of life. They tend to be mysterious hard to read and almost impossible to get a solid definition of. If it is wished that one such as thee seeks one as me out, be high of intelligence, highly intellectual and extremely open minded. I am indeed a natural switch with the right person under certain circumstances. I do not trust easily and with that requires time, persistence and patients. I am a student of life and a child of knowledge. I have spent many years delving into metaphysics, occult, theory, philosophy, and the sciences of mankind, the beliefs practices and cultures of different societies. As well as religion, principles and the illusions of reality.

My world is not simple, it is not tender or constant or caring. It is not patient or compassionate or soft. My world is not simple; it is not a gentle one. Look and you will see it is not kind nor is it forgiving, but I even in my infinite patience and unconditional love cannot help but question my compassion for such a feat as this. For the qualities it lacks I have obtained in its amusement.

I write for the passion of it, nothing more nothing less. That passion for my poetry and research is also in my artwork and drawings. In thus it will shine through with the words themselves and the depiction of each individual piece as a masterpiece and in such I will accept no less from myself in my constant ever evolutionary state of being. I am a child of knowledge and a student of life. My dedication is understanding what lies in the blood of reality beneath the skin and to holding no illusions presented thereof. My path is taking information transmuting it into knowledge and through my sharing of it creating wisdom and living through the experience of it. This is a piece of what I am, perhaps not who, but what. The who shall come later in the complexity of all things. If you make it to the end of my profile, in a way only then will you just begin to scratch the surface of who I am, for such comes later.

Welcome to my world and perhaps if you are masochistic or sadist enough you will learn to enjoy and or love it as I do.



"Oh and if they want my damn blood they can wait till I`m done using it, until then it`s mine. How could I leave the two stooges there to die, especially since I`m the goddamn third one"



I have many interests that occupy my mind and time and enjoy involving others in my activities. I am currently working on my second book called The Key to Immortality, my first being Forsaken Eternity. I enjoy music drawing, writing poetry, clubbing, raves, enjoying the company of those who have similar tastes and beliefs. I like travel, adventure, sparing with friends, swimming, spending time with my pack and rough housing. I enjoy writing and drawing. I have a tendency of picking a side opposite of the one presented and debating it weather or not it is what I actually believe, for the sake of seeing all sides. Welcome to my world.



~Nature thru Experience, Experience thru living~



"From childhood`s hour I have not been As others were; I have not seen As others saw; I could not bring My passions from a common spring. From the same source I have not taken My sorrow; I could not awaken My heart to joy at the same tone; And all I loved, I loved alone. Then- in my childhood, in the dawn Of a most stormy life- was drawn From every depth of good and ill The mystery which binds me still: From the torrent, or the fountain, From the red cliff of the mountain, From the sun that round me rolled In its autumn tint of gold, From the lightning in the sky As it passed me flying by, From the thunder and the storm, And the cloud that took the form (When the rest of Heaven was blue) Of a demon in my view. “- Poe

~little close to home~ for the bridges we have burned and the lessons we have learned, for the things we have suffered and the wounds we have covered, for the angers and the tears we have hid a hundred years I give thee understanding.

For the loss and broken dreams, for the blood and silent screams, for the torture and the pain so well hidden by the rain, for the screaming endless fights and the dark and dreary nights, I give thee friendship I give thee hope, a place to stay and another way to cope.

For the endless ways of death and the times to hold your breath, for all the things you dread and all the things they`ve said, the the hate you`ve learned to hide and the tears you`ve never cried, I give thee light I give thee faith I give thee something to call safe.

For all the times you`ve been betrayed and the friends who`ve never stayed, for hollow that you feel beneath your shields of steel, for all the things they`ve done and the times you`ve had to run, I give thee peace, I give thee love, I give thee back thy dove,

For all the times you have knelt and the cards you have been dealt, for the secrets that you keep and the roots you have to reap, for the dangers of your past and the nothing that won’t last, for the numbness that you know and the distantness you show, I give thee strength I give thee might so that thee may fight.

For every blow you take and every heartbreak for each love that left and each load you heft, for everything you`ve had to stake and everything you`ve had to shake, for when the day is done and nothing has been won ,I give thee everything I have to give, for together in this we live,

for the times we have to stare because of the things we share, for the world within our reach robs us of our speech, now the day is done, what have we begun.

Clan eternal

I think of you my dearest friends as daytime comes to an end, the sun has set the moon is rising and this message I do send. Come be with me in our little world full of laughter and tears and we shall talk the night away until the dawn appears. For we are the clan eternal, both mortal and immortal are we. We are bound forever to each other and our love shall shine for all to see. So hear me my clan eternal and harken to what I say of all the creatures who roam this earth with thee my heart shall stay.



~The soul thru expression, expression thru music ~

My music taste is always expanding to include new bands that catch my attention. Mostly My interests lay in all sorts of metal, some industrial, hard rock, rave music, some techno. Some of my favorites range from blind guardian, obsidian gold, dark tranquility, pantera, NIN, nirvana, nevermore, stone sour, static x,slipknot, seether, empty soul,dust to life, iced earth, fates warning, tea party, deggial, incubus, opeth, cradle of filth,linkin park, many different underground bands, in flames,Ramstien. Recently I`ve grown fond of blutengal, zeromancer, msi, icp, murderdolls, otep, and a few more to be mentioned later.

If charm, glamour, charisma and presence were all the world was based on there would be no need for the intellectually elite.



~Quotes of interest~

It isn`t the message or the chosen messenger, it`s the motive. One must not kill the messenger, but it messenger is not killed if they never reached the gates to begin with.

"Those who accept the ability, become the channel for it and the ability themselves, those who deny the ability become tools of the ability for its use, those who fall to the will of the ability are consumed by it wholly, those who master the ability direct it with their will alone. Beware the choice beware making it."



I hit him to get his attention. I shot him to calm him down I killed him to reason with him. - Henry Rollins



One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us. - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cold Turkey"

The first key to wisdom is constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question and by questioning we arrive at the truth. - Peter Abelard

I can`t say I believe in god. If, in fact, I ever find out that he does indeed exist, I think I`ll stay away from him, because if he`s responsible for half the things he gets credit for, he`s got to be one mean son of a b***h. - Peter Gethers

It is like most other ancient books – a mingling of falsehood and truth, of philosophy and folly – all written by men, and most of the men only partially civilized. Some of its laws are good – some infinitely barbarous. None of the miracles related were performed. . . . Take out the absurdities, the miracles, all that pertains to the supernatural – all the cruel and barbaric laws – and to the remainder I have no objection. Neither would I have for it any great admiration. - Robert Ingersoll

The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance...logic can be happily tossed out the window. - Stephen King

To be nobody but yourself, in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting - E.E. Cummings

Time is like a drug. It kills you if you have too much of it. - Terry Pratchet, "Small Gods"

Aye, but isn`t the man who chooses the bad in some way better than the man who has the good forced upon him? - Alex (A Clockwork Orange)

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Evelyn Beatrice Hall, "The Friends of Voltaire"

Never let your sense of morals keep you from doing what is right. - Isaac Asimov

If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all. - John Cage

As far as consistency of thought goes, I prefer inconsistency. - John Cage

The greatest spiritual truths, with the greatest ability to transform our lives, are often the ones that look superficially like the twisted and sick rantings of a permanently-adolescent mental inadequate.¡± - Pastor N. Pizzor

In my end is my beginning. - T.S. Eliot

"Evil can only ever truly destroy evil, Good can destroy evil for a time, but when powerful evil is destroyed, it leaves a void, which, in time, is filled by only a greater evil. However when evil destroys evil, that evil steps into the void, and all that evil controlled is now at the disposal of the new evil. Now say, evil is destroyed by evil that is actually good then the good evil steps into the void and seals it. when one who can assume an evil form steps into the void and reverts to its true nature, then all that the old evil had, must now either align to good or be thrown into destructive chaos and be destroyed. In effect the void is filled, and converted to good"

"I`ve loved to learn and learned to hate, and still I cannot hate to love. For The opposite of love is not hate but indifference and to what end is there indifference?"

Why choose the Lesser EVIL? When I`m torn between two evils I choose the one I`ve never tried before.

"So don’t let the word bring you down, not everyone here is that ******** up and cold. Remember why you came and while you’re alive, experience the "warmth" before you grow cold"

You ever noticed when god wanted to make an example of someone, or when he needed a killing done or when he wished to punish someone he sent an angel. You ever wonder what a creature like that must be like? Your entire existence spent worshiping your god, but always with one wing dipped in blood, would you ever REALLY want to meet an angel?



~The Journey of Self, Self-Thru Expression ~

If you have read this far perhaps you shall learn the most about one such as I, perhaps you shall continue searching for the answers to questions not yet asked. Come seeking and the questions for your answers shall become apparent as the answers you have sought become the questions themselves. Take nothing on faith unless self-proven before the holding of thy own mind. Trust not before the understandings have been woven of their limits. Hold fast not to the illusions of reality for such sweet tethers shall leave you wanting.

Statically those with my childhood will have snapped, committed suicide, overdosed, or like such things with an end result by the time they are 25. My mentor at the time meant well when he showed me this statistic sheet. Told me there are hundreds of things in a lifetime to die for, but find one things to live for. Things will come and go, they will come and pass but find one thing to live for and always remember it. Only then would I have the chance to overcome even those odds. Even now I see the flames of my passion burn before my eyes and I spent a lifetime holding people at arm’s length and pushing them all away to protect them from my loss. I want to be remembered when I am gone, not for the monster I will be in the end, but for everything I did before I died. I want to be remembered by the sum of what I have accomplished in my lifetime, so I live day by day, night by night. I`ll teach as many as I can and help as many as I can, my one thing to fight for in this life is love.

Not the love between two people, but unconditional all-encompassing love. That love between two soul mates or between to twins that love between to great fighters. The one thing I live for is that fight. Not the physical battle because that alone is in itself not enough, that in itself , But the greater struggle that encompasses everything from the good dark to the evil dark to the good light and the evil light, the shadow and the neutral, the balanced and the chaos, the equilibrium of sorts.. Do not get me wrong I am as dangerous as that which came before me and that which will come and indeed I am not a creature of light. The fields will lay crimson in the end just the same, the wheel will keep turning, but the ripples I will have caused will echo for all eternity from the brief 3 seconds of my life as they do far all. The sacrifice in the dark where no brother will remember my name, for the sake of another like myself. To walk each time into the deep personal hells and bring those from bended knee and reteach them how to fly, to mend their wounds and to make their armor impenetrable. To wander the most treacherous paths without a light safely to lead home those whom have strayed too far and thought to be lost. I am that dark shadow fire that burns without needing that light. Shadow isn`t the absence or presence of light but the absorption thereof, nor is the the absence or presence of dark. Yet it is