The New and Improved Snogging Scale♥♥♥
1/2 sticky eyes (Be careful using this. I’ve still got some complete twit following me around like a seeing-eye dog.)
1 holding hands
2 arm around
3 goodnight kiss
4 kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath (What you need for this is a sad mate who’s got a watch but no boyfriend.)
4 1/2 hand snogging (I really don’t want to go into this. Ask Jas.)
5 open mouth kissing
6 tongues
6 1/2 ear snogging
6 3/4 neck nuzzling
7 upper body fondling – outdoors
8 upper body fondling – indoors (in bed)
Virtual number 8 (When your upper body is not actually being fondled in reality, but you know that it is in your snoggees head.)
9 below waist activity (or bwa) (Apparently this can include flashing your pants. Don’t blame me. Ask Jools.)
10 the full monty (Jas and I were in the room when Dad was watching the news and the newscaster said, “Tonight the Prime Minister has reached Number 10.” And Jas and I had a laughing spaz to end all laughing spazzes.)
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