"I belong to the warrior in whom the old ways have joined the new."

"It is better say nothing and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

"Death is the high cost of living"

"some encounters are fruitful, others unfortunate. It's not always that our chance encounters are fated, but rather that it is our fate to encounter chance."

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

"In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it thou art a fool"

"If you have a face of stone it may be taken for granite."

"I intend to live forever....so far so good."

"If pro means positive and con means negative then does that mean the opposite of progress is congress?"

"A dream is a wish that the heart makes"

"Anything that can be done at any time will never get done."

"Good,Better,Best never let it rest till your good is your better and your better is your best."

"Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it."

"With great power comes great responsibility."

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

"Never Lie, Steal, Cheat, or Drink. but If You Must Lie, Lie in the Arms of the One You Love. If You Must Steal, Steal Away from Bad Company. If You Must Cheat, Cheat Death. and If You Must Drink, Drink in the Moments That Take Your Breath Away."

"Life is not the amount of Breaths you Take. It's the Moments that Take your Breath Away."

"wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk."

"fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing"

"all that is required for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing."

"That which does not become a part of the one, shall become one with the void."

"Some say time is like a river that flows swift and sure in one direction, but I have seen the face of time and I can tell you they are wrong"

"Trust not a man who has betrayed his master nor take him into your own service, lest he betray you too."

"Bravely I have fought and slain my enemies; honour and glory were mine. But though I fight until the desert sands themselves were red with blood, I could not bring back the dead."

"Defeat your enemies with success."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

"I have walked across the surface of the Sun. I have witnessed events so tiny and so fast they can hardly be said to have occurred at all. But you're just a man. The world's smartest man poses no more threat to me than does its smartest termite"

"Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you - only you - that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. It's like turning air into gold. A miracle."

"If you can kill it, it didn't deserve to live. if you can destroy it, it wasn't important enough to be protected, and if you can carry it with you, it's yours to do with as you wish until contested by another"

"Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

"Not a speck of light is showing so the danger must be growing, are the fires of hell a glowing? is the grizzly reaper mowing? YES! the danger must be growing for the rowers keep on rowing and there certainly not showing any signs that they are slowing."

"Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet, without provocation, you have severed our détente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a thousand suns. You shall curse your mothers for the day of your birth. So, go now, go, and begin your life of fear, knowing that when you least expect it, the looming
sword of Damocles will crash down upon you, cleaving you in twain and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life. you will regret the day you crossed
me."

"You can't take a step forward if you worry about the blade of grass you crush in your wake"

"the glass is not half empty, it's just twice as big as it needs to be."

"Money can’t buy you love cause it’s over priced."

"Well you can’t buy me love, But I'd beat you black and blue for free. I’ll take ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ and give you a lobotomy, I'm tired of how you scheme! To stir the people up! Why don’t you just take a vacation and shut the heck up?!

"Which is better, to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"

"Jack of all trades, master of none, Certainly better than a master of one"

"One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it."

"Don't be too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present.""

"My life has been filled with moments both significant and mundane But, those moments remained entirely indistinguishable...except for this. As she let out a soft sigh and repositioned herself against me...I knew somewhere in his heart....that this was one of the significant moments. I knew she was falling in love with me."

How come a nose can never be twelve inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.

The calenders days are numbered.

why do gorillas have big nostrals...because they have big fingers.

Did you know michael jordan can jump higher than your house?
Your house cant jump at all.

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger and then it hit me.

I was reading the newspaper about this study on the dangers of drinking. Scared the crap out of me so from this day forward not more reading.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea'r?

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.

Why do cows wear bells?
Because there horns don't work.

Why did the man driving the train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.

How do you get a eighty year old woman to swear?
You get another eighty year old woman to yell bingo.

What does a teenage boy have with the enzime helicase?
Both want to unzip your jeans.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It will be a minute before I get hard i just got layed by a chick.

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
Because if they had four doos they would be a chicken sadana.

Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?
A bad golfer goes wack darn a bad sky diver goes darn wack.

How many kids with A.D.D does it take to change a lightbulb?
Lets go ride bikes!

What do get when drop a piano down a mine shaft
A flat minor

Whats the difference between beer nut and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are five dollars a bag deer nuts are under a buck.

Two peanuts were walking down the street.
One was assaulted.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Two drums and a symbol walk off a cliff.
ba dum dum tzzzzz

There are two muffins in an oven one muffen says to the other muffin "man it's hot in here." the other muffin replys "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!"

there are 10 types of people in the world those who understand binary and those who dont.

The square root of negitive one and pi are having an arguement. After much discussion the square root of negitive one shouts at pi "WOULD YOU PLESE BE RATIONAL"
to which pi replys "get real"

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spent years at sea.

How do you make a hankercheif dance?
You put a little boogie in it.

I wish to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfauther.
Not panicing like his passengers.

Did you hear about the guy who got the entire left half of his body cut off?
He's all right now.

How many psychologist's does it take to change a light bulb?
One but the light bulb has to want to change.

Why was the math book so sad?
It had alot of problems.

Whats the difference betweem a writer and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family.

How does a chicken cross the road? heres a hint take the "F" out of free and take the "F" out of way.

I was walking threw the local graveyard the other day when I saw a grave that read "R.I.P Dense water vapour
You'll always be mist"