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Attention filthy monkeys-My name is Cryptosporidium-137. I am a member of the vastly superior Furon empire. I, as well as my boss Orthopox-13, am here for one simple reason: to destroy all gaians!
Why am I telling you this? Because there's nothing you damn dirty gaians can do about it!
There's more to our previously clandestine master plan than wanton destruction, Crypto
Kind of hard to keep the end of the world under your hat, isn't it Pox?
Ehh... ANYWAY. We aren't simply invading Gaia for the sake of turning it into a smoking crater.
An enjoyable activity, nonetheless
Due to use of atomic weaponry in interstellar war, our genes have been so badly mutilated we can no longer propogate due to a complete lack of genetalia. Fortunately, hundreds of years ago a Furon sailor visited Gaia while it was young and, well... let's just say circumstances led to all gaians having a dash of Furon DNA deep in their brains (or what passes for one). Pure, undamaged DNA. The future of the Furon empire depends on--
Killing as many monkeys as possible and ripping their brains out!
... To put it bluntly. I imagine the Emperor would like the real estate as well.
He could use it as a parking garage or something.
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I've provided you with two brains! Now you don't need mine!