I am Count Von Jeb. I am 14 and aiming to become a tattooist. My brother managed to get into art school, so hopefully I do to, he says I’ll get in without a sweat. That is probably a good thing. I am doing art at school. I do art even when im in maths, English, science etc. and nobody even notices. My aim for the end of the year is to be able to draw using my feet, I think that’s cool. Strange people with odd fetishes might even find that sexy. But I don’t. People say that “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”. My grass is pretty green. On the other hand, there are a few patches of dry, poison grass. On the other hand, my grass is a substitute of pot. On the other hand, pot is bad for you. On the other hand, I have fountains in my paddock (a paddock is only that if it has a horse, and my metaphorical paddock does!), on the other hand… THERE IS NO OTHER HAND!

I like music, it helps me draw. I listen to dragonforce, hammerfall, nightwish, flogging molly and the chieftans. Odd mix, but I like them. Bob Marley also is awesome (pitty he died, hay?) The BEST song ever written was “Seven Drunken Pirates”!

I am into demonology, mythology and folklore. I know a fair bit on fallen angels, and abit on some other stuff (familiars and the alike). My parents worry im gonna sell my soul or something stupid, so I keep my interests away from them. As much as possible.

I am into a bit of manga and anime. Mainly sgt frog and evangelian. I play the second Diablo WAY too much. But you actually get to kill Baal, how cool is that? For those that don’t know, Baal is a fallen angel who rules a fair few legions of demons.

I like monkeys on trycicles and I also like putting salami in the microwave and watching it explode.

I have realised why jimmy is always happy. You see, the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but jimmy is on BOTH sides, hehehe (to those who are retarded i am saying he is bisexual)

PENGUINS ARE KILLING DEMOCRACY!!
I am glad that i'm Australian, i'm glad that i am free,
I wish i were a little dog, and Howard were a tree.
War doesn't determine who is right but who is left.
I'd kill for a nobel peace prize.
You are unique, just like EVERYBODY else.
One million sperm. YOU were the fastest!
If we stop voting, will they bugger off?
Man standing sideways on airport escalator is going to Bangkock.
Man with hands in pants all day will feel cocky.
Man standing in front off car get tired.
Man standing behind car get exausted
Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!
CLINTON VIRUS: screws everything over.
DISNEY VIRUS: everything goes all goofy.
ARNY VIRUS: teminates things, dies, BUT VILL BE BAAAAACK!
Blondes have sunroofs for a reason, extra legroom!
"Very funny scotty, now beam down my clothes!"
I'm pink therefor i'm spam.
Cigarretes cause statistics.
Cancer cures smoking.
"roses are red,
violets are bluish,
if it wasn't for jesus,
we'd all be jewish."
Elvis is dead. Good career move.
Save money on obsene calls, revearse charges!
Bopeep did it for insurance.
On the tits of a barmaid from Sale
Were tattood the prices of ale
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in braille!
Keep Australia green, have sex with a frog.
Diarrhoea is hereditary, it runs through your jeans.
We want new cliches.
Kids in back seats cause accidents.
Accidents in back seats cause kids.
Be alert, your country needs lerts.
Who is general failure, and why is he reading my hard drive?
Shampoo. Demand the REAL poo.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.
For sale: one parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain.
Why is abreviated such a long word?
War doesn't determine who is right, but who is left.
Last night i played a blank tape at full blast, the mime next door went nuts!!
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Borrow money from pessimests, they don't expect it back.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Jesus died for our sins, now lets get our moneys worth.
What does D.N.A stand for?
National Dislexic Association
I got skylites put in, the people above are furious.
MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE:
If you are obsessive compolsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you have split personalities, press 1,2,3 & 4.
If you are co-dependant, get some one to press 2 for you.
If you are paranoid, please wait so we can hunt you down.
If you are delusional, please press 7 to be transported to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen to the voice, it will tell you what to do.
If you are manic/depressive, it doesn't matter, you will get nothing.
If you are dislaxic press 3950185937295028164960275.
If you are having a mental breakdown, fiddle with the 0 key.
If you have amnesia please leave your name, middle name, last name, house address, licence plate, date of birth, and keycard number and password.
If you have short term memory loss press 9.
If you have short term memory loss press 9.
If you have short term memory loss press 9.
If you have short term memory loss press 9.
If you have short term memory loss press 9.
If you have low-self esteem, please hang up, nobody cares about you.
I'm not racist, i hate everybody.

I couldn't find one of me, so i made on instead!



And this is Womble, my most favorite blue squirrel!