*read comic to the side b4 reading this*

Tobie: RAWR! Ita wants milk!
Tobie: sa’ri is a good puppet-boy!
Sa’ri: shaddup or zets’ll eat you!!
Zets: mmn? Eat who?
Tobie: good puppet-boy! Good puppet-boy!
Sa’ri: GO EAT TOBI!!!
Zets: nah. He tastes nasty.
Tobie: RAWR!! MILK!!
Ita: I thought I told you to stop bothering me!!!
Tobie: RAWR!
Ita: kisa! Come eat tobi!
Tobie: NOT SHARK MAN!
Kisa: what? *comes in holding fish stix*
All: *gasp* cannibal!
Window pane: *walks in* what’s going on? Why arent you working??
Tobie: ita wants milk!
Ita: kisa, stop eating your own kind and eat him!
Kisa: he tastes nasty. Not like fish stix.
Tobie: nasty! Nasty! Tobi good boy!
Window pane: GET BACK TO WORK!
All: *suddenly start working again*
Window pane: *leaves*
Dei-dei: *walks in*
Tobie: DEI-DEI-CHAN, UN!!!!
Dei-dei: SHADDUP!!!
Tobie: okay
Sa’ri n ita: why?!
Tobie: cuz he ent eatin me
Sa’ri n ita: *grumbling*
Dei-dei: *sits in corner and starts making clay thingies* un
Tobie: *running in circles and shouting at the top of his lungs* GOOD BOY!! GOOD BOY!!
Kisa n zets: *beginning to wonder if they really should eat him after all…*
Other akatsuki members: *are not included in this randomness and burst into tears*
Sa’ri: here *hands ita milk*
Ita: I DON’T WANT (it? That? The thingerdoo? Ah, ignore me…) PUPPET-BOY
Sa’ri: oh, right, 2%
Ita: *walks off grumbling*
Sa’ri: what’d I do? *walks out door*
Fangirls: GAARA-KUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sa’ri: SHADDUP! FOR THE LAST TIME IM NOT GAARA!!!!!
Fangirls: *still shrieking and running after him*
Sa’ri: *runs back inside and shuts door and throws all sorts of locks on it shut*
Tobie: *still running around* GOOD BOY! GOOD BOY!
Sa’ri: *complaining loudly about fangirls*
Ita: *trying to take kisa’s fish stix*
Kisa: NO! MIIIIINE! THEYRE MY YUMMIES!
Zets: *eating dei-dei’s clay*
Dei-dei: NAH! What are you doing, un?!
Window pane: *suddenly appears out of nowhere, trips tobi, takes fish stix, and drags zets out by the ear – no – leaf*
Tobie: *face down on the floor sobbing*
Kisa: *sobbing*
Ita: hey those were mine!!
Sa’ri: *still complaining*
Ita: shut up!
Dei-dei: *talking bout zetspufed* FINALLY!!! Un.
Zets: *not there*
Window pane: *appears again* WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *disappears*
All: *freeze and start working*

THE END!

That was our wonderful skit named –
TOBI BOTHERS EVERYONE!!!
With –
Checkers-eyes-man as ita/itachi
Fishy-man as kisa/kisame
STARRING doggie-man as tobie/tobi
Blondie-man as dei-dei/deidara (un)
Plant-man as zets/zetsu
Earring-man as window pane/pein
AND
Gaara as sa’ri/sasori sa’ri: IM NOT…oh I give up…

*applause and curtain falls*



FANGIRLS FOR SALE

Sa’ri: fangirls for sale! Fangirls for sale! Gaara’s annoying half-blind fangirls for sale!!
Fangirls: *shrieking and waving arms wildly while trapped in cage*
Ita: fangirls for sale! Annoying fangirls for sale!
Ita’s fangirls: *have to be in electrified cage with a moat and alligators surrounding it*
Ita: really, really annoying fangirls!
Kisa: no! *sobbing* I don’t have any!!!
Ita n dei-dei n sa’ri: lucky! Trust me, you don’t want them
Zets: *has none as well* I wanna be popular!
Dei-dei: ILL PAY YOU TO TAKE THEM!! JUST LEAVE QUICKLY!!!! TAKE THEM AWAAAAYYYYYY!!!!
Person who would take any fangirls: *no where to be found*
Ita n dei-dei n sa’ri: NOO!!
Someone: *suddenly appears* ill take his *points to tobi*
Tobie: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LOVELY FANGIRLS!!! *tries to hug them all….needless to say, he fails miserably*
Ita, dei, ‘ri: ur really insane, u know?
Hidan: *simply murders all his fangirls*
Ita, dei, ‘ri: hey! Theres an idea!
Fangirls: *are immortal* squeal!! Shriek!!! *try to glomp*
I d r: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Well in the end zets and kisa were paid quite a lot for dei-dei’s, gaara came along and bought – no – was paid for his back, and ita – poor, poor ita – was stuck with his. HA!

Later: pretty soon zets n kisa found the fangirls didn’t like them at all. Turns out theyre not immortal to suicide.



(this one's format is a bit odd, it was more of a plan-out of a doujinshi (fan comic) than anything. also, ignore where the text turned into actual emote icons, i don't know how to fix that. but anways, before I begin this one, here’s some background info on ichigo that might be helpful)
She’s member of the akatuski, who I created, and she’s got a cat-demon inside her. That means whenever she gets angry or whatever her black cat ears and black cat tail pop out, along with long claws and fangs, and her pupils slit and the color fills the eye, leaving no white. Along with this, she has immense skill in herbs/poultices/potions/etc. she was brought from our world to the naruto world by freakish circumstances, and now she’s stuck there, tho she really doesn’t mind. She calls deidara her older brother, and he his little sister, and they DO look really really alike. She’s also got his immunity to itachi’s powers etc, tho her eyes look normal (except when she goes all catty of course) she’s good friends with sasori (who is her mentor in potions, etc.) and itachi, thinks tobi is annoying, and really has no special connection to the others. She’s got an emo personality kinda like sasuke’s – which explains why the other akatsuki members are totally weirded out when she starts acting crazy. Just imagine what would happen if sasuke started acting like she does.
Now, to begin –

Ichigo: niiii-saaaaaan!! >.<
Deidara: im right here un…*sweatdrop*

Ichigo: *yanking on deidei’s cloak sleeve* im bored. Bored bored bored
Deidara: *huge sweatdrop* I thought you were 17 not 3

Ichigo: *starts banging head on wall*
Deidara: *blue streak* are you feeling alright?
Ichigo: no. im bored. *bang bang bang*

Sasori: wth is making that noise?

Sa’ri n deidei: *watching ichi with sweatdrops*
Deidara: do you think someone spiked her drink un?
Sasori: …no…idea…

Ichigo: *suddenly throws hands up* BORED!!!

Ichigo: *leaves thru random doorway*
Sasori: nvrmind. Im quite sure shes drunk…or something

Ichigo: *walks in room where…*
Pein: *studying some papers*
Ichigo: BORED!!!!

Pein: …____ *odd glare*
Ichigo: I shall die, die, die of boredom!
Pein: go die somewhere else

Ichigo: *glare* what if I want to die here?
Pein: *continues looking at papers* [ignore ignore]
Ichigo: RWAWR! Gimme something to do!! >:c

Pein: go jump off the roof. I don’t care. [fume]
Ichigo: *fangs, claws, ears, tail, etc pop out* gimme something to dooooo!!! [zigzag]

Pein: go amuse the others – theyre probly bored too – itll keep up morale

Ichigo: fine! *leaving thru doorway*

Pein: >.> *continues working*

Ichigo: *back thru doorway*
Deidara: what was that about un?

Ichigo: *looks up blankly* I asked Leader-sama to give me something to do

Deidei n sa’ri: *exchange a look* and…?

Ichigo: *looks down again* he told me to jump off the roof -.-
Sasori: *laughs* XDDDDD

Ichigo: *with faraway look* be proud of me leader-sama. I have done as you requested. And now…IM BORED AGAIN!!!!

Deidara: wait…I thought he told you to jump off the roof
Ichigo: yeah but then I got mad so he told me to ‘amuse the others – itll keep up morale’ blah blah blah

All: …____

Ichigo: well sasori laughed. My work here is done. *does complete 180 and takes a step forward straight into the wall* *.*

Itachi: *in doorway* w…t…

Ichigo: *facing ita* BORED!! Just thought you needed to know ^^ *red lump on head* [lines around lump]
Itachi: *giant sweatdrop*
Sasori: don’t even ask…

Itachi: *walks over to ichi and stares* what did you give her?

Ichigo: *faceplants ita* nnn…itachi-sama……………..im supposed to amuse you. Hows your morale?
Itachi: …____ *streaks like crazy*
Sasori: like I said. Don’t ask

Ichigo: *still muttering into ita’s cloak* I don’t know how to amuse you people. Youre no good as an audience. XP
Itachi: I think youre doing quite well already with this sudden, stunning idiocy >.>

Ichigo: *rubs head back and forth* idiocy…idiocy…idiocy…
Itachi: *O.O w.t.c.*

Tobi: is that…ichigo? O.o
Deidara: who else?
Tobi: she looks a little…uh…

Deidara: we know
Sasori: don’t ask
Tobi: tobi wont! Tobi is a good boy! <3

Kisame: hnn? Whats going on? Are you meeting in here??
Ichigo: BORED!!!! >.<
Kisame: ill take that…as a no?

Tobi: no no no! <3
Hidan: whyre you being so loud? >:c

Ichigo: amusing! Im amusing! Yay me! ^.^
Tobi: yay! Tobi can be amusing too!^.^

Ichigo: *deathglare* no. only I am amusing.
Tobi: *shrinks away* OwO

Ichigo: *pokes kisame* physh stix. Heh. Heh heh.
Kisame: 8<
Itachi: *pfft* (ita)

Ichigo: HA-HAH! What NOW?! Itachi-sama laughed 8D im so talented at being amusing. Yay yay yay…*falls over couch and ends up laying on it*

Tobi: game! Game! Let’s play a game! <3
Sasori: why not? Theres nothing else to do

Hidan: a game? Are you serious? Im leaving
Tobi: noo! Stay! Its…its…

Ichigo: MORALE!! Leader-sama says. Everyone plays. > biggrin

Deidara: but…WHAT game?
Tobi: truth or dare! <3 <3

All: …____
Sasori: why not?

Hidan: this is insanity >:c
Ichigo: *still on couch* this is amusing! ^^
Tobi: tobi is a good boy! <3
Zetsu: Im hungry… >.>

Ichigo: *sticks toungue out at him* deal with it. Were playing truth or dare now

Deidara: *on couch whispering to ichi* ok so what DID you do to make you all…whatever?? Cuz were going to need to use it on the others un. Otherwise they’ll never play
Ichigo: *whisper* the secret is…CATNIP!!! 8D

All: huh? Wait what? What now?

Deidara: *sweatdrops* its nothing un! Just ichigo-chan being weird again! *dragging ichi over to corner*
Ichigo: *mumbling thru deidei’s hand over her mouth* mmm hrmmm mmmmmmnn

Deidara: catnip un?
Ichigo: *suddenly is staring at packet of dried herbs with maniacal look* 8E
Deidara: ill take that as a yes… >.>

Tobi: *pops up beside them* whatcha doin??
Ichi n deidei: GAH! Nothing!!

Deidara: *gonpufed* [cloudypuff]
Ichigo: *hand behind her head* heh heh…why don’t we just go play truth or dare now ok? Ignore the fact that nii-san just randomly and very suspiciously disappeared off to do…something I cant tell you

Tobi: …____

Tobi: ok! <3
Ichigo: *turns to the side* I cant believe he bought that…

Tobi n ichi: *back w/ others*
Sasori: ok so whos first? …fine.

Sasori: > biggrin *pulls out kabuto’s cards* pick a card any card!
All: *with cards and blank stares*
Sasori: alright now whos got gaara…of the funk?
Sound fx: un-ch un-ch un-ch un-ch GAARA OF THE FUNK!!

Hidan: I don’t get whats so great about this dumb old game anyway… *gaara (of the funk) card face up on the floor next to him*

Sasori: so it’s the immortal one…perfect…so – dare or dare? > biggrin

Ichigo: O.o wait isnt there supposed to be a truth in there?
Sasori: nope. The game is now dare or dare.
Ichigo: …

Hidan: do I have a choice?
Ichigo: does it sound like you have a choice? (ichi)
Sasori: [no you don’t have any choice] I dare hidan to find out how many piercings leader-sama has!

Tobi: count! Count! <3
Ichigo: heh heh…make sure you count em ALL…im sure he has em EVERYWHERE…
Hidan: >.>

Ichigo: ^^ well go on hidan! *shoves him thru the doorway* this should be interesting…

Zetsu: can I go eat now??

Ichigo: XP whatever just go
Deidara: *sneaking thru doorway behind her*

Deidara: *over by ichi* *whisper* I got the package un *hand in cloak*
Ichigo: *whisper* I got the money [invisible money]

Deidara: its invisible
Ichigo: ah well whatever just gimme the catnip

Itachi: whatre you two being suspicious over there for??
Deidara: heh heh heh…nothing un (d)

Ichigo: *starts creeping around dumping catnip (also mixed with other key herbs from her stores) on everyone*

Tobi: *running around shouting* TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! 8D
Kisame: *trying to eat tobi’s head off* >:{}
Deidara: *playing with little clay birdies* ^^ tweet tweet un
Sasori: *pretending to be gaara* muahahaha im so evil im going to kill you with my SAND
Kakuzu: *running around looking underneath behind below above thru everything for money* $,$

Hidan: *shows up with knives stuck in various places on his body* its one hundred and…wait wth?!

Kisame: *gnawing on tobi’s arm* >:X
Tobi: OwO uwaaaahhh!!! T^T
Ichigo: la la la la! *dances up and sprinkles luverly intoxication mix on hidan*
kakuzu: *picks up clay birdie* hmmm…this might sell for a decent amount… $,$
Deidara: NOOO!!! Mah birdiezzz!!!!! >.<

Itachi: WELCOME TO THE SHADOW REALM! > biggrin *suddenly everyones in tsukiyomi-land*
Hidan: wtc… >.>

Sasori: *still pretending to be gaara* eff u all im gonna go sit in my emo corner with my big ol gourd of sand XP

Zetsu: *trying to eat the people being shot down with shruikens all around* >:{}
Kakuzu: *searching the bodies for money (so far hes pretty unsuccessful)* T.T

Tobi: *running around in circles screaming* XO
Itachi: iiii seeeee youuuuuu…WITH MY CHECKERS EYES!!

Hidan: this is a nice place to perform religious practices…SUICIDEEEE! 8D

Kisame n zetsu: *fighting over who gets to eat tobi* grrr >:{}
Tobi: uwaaaaaaahhh! XO

Itachi: ok now im bored again…

Everyone: *is suddenly back*
Ichigo: comon lets continue with the game!
Tobi: dare or dare! Dare or dare! ^.^

Sasori: XP fine youre next then
Ichigo: I don’t care the catnips wearing off anyway
Tobi: catnip! Nyau! =^w^=

Ichigo: shaddup >:C *hits him on the head*
Tobi: owiieeeeeee!! T^T

Ichigo: *face sa’ri* ok so whats the dare
Sasori: hmmmm… [think think think] I dare you to…KISS A PUPPET!! > biggrin

Ichigo: wtc… >.>
Deidara: XD I gotta see this un

Sasori: *opens a magical portal to kankuro’s puppet closet and steals one* oh look it’s a gaara puppet…interesting…well go on you agreed to the dare *puts mr scarecrow in ichigo’s face*

Ichigo: you’ve got to be kidding me
Sasori: nope ^^
Ichigo: browless wonder?
Sasori: on the mouth!

Others: comon! You scared?? Do it! Etc.

Ichigo: >.> *leans forward and lightly kisses gaara-puppet’s lower lip…but then…*

Gaara-puppet: *slams her against wall and starts eating her face*
Others: wooo! Yeah!

Ichigo: XO gaaaahh stop it sasori you perv! *cat ears etc. pop out and she claws at gaara-puppet*

Gaara-puppet: x.x *hangs lifeless and bleeding*
Sasori: aww no fair you broke it! *pout pout*

Ichigo: what was that for you idiot? >:c
Sasori: it was hilarious!

Ichigo: grrr! Ill break you too if you don’t shut up >:
Sasori: *rolls eyes* ok fine but it was still funny

Ichigo: *walks off muttering darkly*
Sasori: okay next is…ITACHI!

Itachi: *glare* why?
Sasori: cuz I feeeeeels like it XP

Itachi: well lets say kisame feels like eating your head off…
Kisame: *rabid sharky look*

Sasori: 8< uh…well…that’s different. Lets just get on with it! So dare or dare?
Itachi: …____

Sasori: ill take that as a dare! Now then…

Sasori: …once sec lemme consult my assisstants here

Sa’ri n ichi n deidei n tobi: *off to the side*
Ichigo: *holding on deidei’s arm* what sasori-sensei?
Deidara: why are you on my arm >.>
Tobi: tobi is a good boy! <3

Ichigo: shaddup! >:c
Sasori: ok so im out of ideas what should we dare itachi to do????

Ichigo: go jump off the roof! ^^
Sasori: …..no.

Ichigo: -.- ok fine
d/t: ?
(story: *dies*)



now for an ACTUAL story...

Life-in-excerpt - again and again

That’s about all that has happened, Kagennotsuki Ichigo thought, staring at the freshly-inked report before her. Suddenly, something caught her attention.
“…Uchiha-san….” she murmured, looking curiously at Itachi from the corner of her eye.
“Nnn?” His footsteps paused and he turned around, eyes bored and otherwise unfeeling as usual. Unusually, he was carrying a black cat in his arms.
“What is that??”
“Don’t ask silly questions, Kagennotsuki-kun,” he said.
Ichigo snarled slightly and rolled her eyes. “I’m more girl than you give me credit for.”
No response. Only a blank stare through narrowed eyes. Then he turned and stalked off.
And it was NOT a silly question. Ichigo turned back to staring at her report, poking the brush in and out of the ink pot. Then, with a sigh, she snatched up the pot, closed it, and put it and the brush on a shelf. I’ll just leave this scroll to dry – there’s nothing else to add. It’s been ridiculously dull as of late, she thought, heading outside.
The weather was nice. Colorful leaves danced in the chill wind and Ichigo’s breath misted in the air. She pushed a hand through her long, yellow-blonde hair as she studied the flight of one slightly purple leaf through the sky. It turned in loop after loop, up and down until…
“KATSU!” came a familiar cry, followed by an explosion. The leaf fluttered in a haywire pattern, showered by sparks. Soon it fell to the ground, too tattered for the breeze to acknowledge it anymore.
“That was a pretty leaf, Onii-san.” Ichigo complained, raising her voice.
“What leaf, un?” he called from above.
“This one.” She diffused and rematerialized beside the ashes of the purple leaf, poking it with the tip of her sandal. A shadow fell over her, and a huge gust of wind sent the pieces bursting away into oblivion. Another gust, and then another. Then it stopped. Footsteps crunched over dead leaves towards her.
“You’re an idiot, un.” He walked over to examine her.
“If I wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be here – a member of the infamous Akatsuki, hmm?” Ichigo finally raised her gaze from the ground to look at her living reflection.
“Yeah.” Deidara glanced over at the giant bird that had caused the previous gusts of wind. “But you don’t need to interrupt my art to whine about a leaf, un.”
“I suppose not.” Ichigo let her gaze wander. “Have you seen Uchiha-sama today?” A slight smile twitched at the corners of her mouth.
“No.” He looked questioning.
“Nothing,” she said, and shook her head. She turned back to focus on him. “What about Sasori-sensei? I wanted to ask him something about blue wraithwort.”
“I think he’s doing something with his puppets, un.”
“All right.” Ichigo turned to wander off in the direction of Sasori’s corner of the base.
She had gotten no more than two steps before an annoyingly familiar cry cut through the air.
“Senpai Deidara!!”
She heard a grunt that was almost a moan from Deidara, quickening her own steps in the hopes that she might not be spotted….
“Ichigo-chan!” No such luck. “You’re here too! Great, I just wanted to ask everyone a question.”
“Out with it,” Deidara said as Ichigo unwillingly turned back around to watch him prompt the orange-masked boy.
“How come everyone is so bored? If everyone is here, there should be a reason, right? How come everyone is doing nothing?”
“I don’t know, un.” Deidara rolled his eyes, and turned back to his giant bird. “I think everyone doesn’t know.”
“Ichigo-chan? Do you know?”
“No. And would you NOT call me that?”
“What – ‘Ichigo-chan’?”
Ichigo gritted her teeth, fists clenched. “Yes,” she growled.
“Okay, Ichigo-chan. Oops, I mean-GAAAKK!!”
Ichigo materialized next to Deidara and kneed Tobi in the stomach. Hard. She heard what sounded distinctly like a chuckle from Deidara, and turned to look at him. He looked back at her with a huge smirk.
“Oh shut up, Nii-san! I’ll kick you, too.”
“I said nothing, un. I keep my mouth shut!” he laughed, and hopped onto the clay bird. A few great whooshes of air and he was gone.
Ichigo turned to leave again, but Tobi’s call stopped her.
“Hey! Where are you going?” he asked, now miraculously recovered from her blow.
Ichigo sighed. “Somewhere you will NOT be coming.”
“But what am I supposed to do? I’m
Bored!”
“I don’t know! Find some way to at least ATTEMPT to make yourself useful, hmm?”
“Hey, I’ve got it! Everyone can play a game!”
“Are you kidding?” Ichigo turned to face him. “What game? And what makes you think anyone is going to play?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll come up with something!” Tobi cried as he ran off.
Ichigo sighed a deeply exasperated sigh. That moronic little boy…at least I won’t have to worry about this dumb idea of his. He is never going to be able to convince the others to play a game.
“Sensei!” Ichigo called into the darkened room as she closed the door behind her, trying to pick out Sasori from the dark, human-shaped forms all around. Oh great, I almost sound like Tobi! the thought struck her. I really hope I’m not that annoying.
“Eh, what is it?” His voice came from the far left corner. Ichigo shoved her thoughts away and paced forward a few steps.
“I had a question – if you are not too busy.”
(and the story died there >.< wink