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 Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 1:44 pm
Oh, how full of pointless issues am I?
rolleyes
I feel pretty bad, because everyone else's are waaay more worthy of issueness than mine, but hey, we all need to complain.
This is not x-posted to the Catholic guild, for reasons which should become pretty evident.
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"So, what do you want to be when you get older, Chloe?"
"I want to be a Priest!"
"Well...um...why not grow up and marry a handsome man?"
".....but Father O'Brian doesn't have a husband."
So...basically, that's the problem. Not the fact that I wanted to be a Priest - I get why that's never going to happen.
I feel bad making this a topic in the first place, because gender vs. sex has already been discussed in the main forum, but it's got to the point where I think I have to make a decision. Ten years later, and it is driving me nuts.
When I was little, I knew I didn't want to be a girl. I didn't want to see boybands. I wanted to be Prime Minister (how sad is -that-?) and a pilot and an explorer and a chef and a policeman....notice the pattern, here. I did -not- want to be anything girly, and for years I refused point blank to wear skirts and dresses, to the point of being in tears. When the period and the breasts came, I completely freaked out, and did my best to hide the chest completely. Recently, yes, I wear skirts and bras and makeup, but I still feel desperate to not be a girl. I've considered that my motive may be social, but I don't think having been born a boy would really enhance my opportunities, nor do I really care about being a gender stereotype or not.
So...I dunno. Declaring myslef transgendered seems a pretty big step to take, and I'm not even sure I should take it. But I really don't know what to do. I don't know whether I should talk this over with my doctor, or a Priest, or a friend, or just someone I don't know at all. Of course, if I was actually diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder (the medical term for being trans), I could receive testosterone, vocal training, surgery...all free. But I don't think I really want that. I certainly know my (straight) boyfriend couldn't cope with that. But I'm not sure whether I really want to be 'the transvestite', either. Right now, I don't try to pass for a man at all, although I seem to be doing well at disguising myself as a woman.
So.
Any ideas?
neutral
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Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 6:41 pm
It's interesting, because I have a good friend who has been/was going through something very similar recently. I think she's close to your age, too.
Anyway, her solution was basically to throw gender roles out the window as much as she could, and live, more or less, however she felt like living. If she feels like wearing a dress and makeup one day, she will. If she feels like wearing a tie and jacket another day, she will. I guess she just tries to not let masculine or feminine stereotypes dictate how she acts, what job she has, and how she dresses. Then again, she's also moving to San Francisco, so she can get away with that sort of stuff without getting too many funny looks.
Anyway, the point is, since she's had this epiphany about her gender identity, she's seemed a lot happier. So I guess, partially going by her example (strangely, I don't actually have a lot of first-hand experience with GID-related issues, or even know that many people who have), the best advice I have is just to be you, and try to let social stereotyped, especially relating to gender, affect you as little as possible. Don't try to act more feminine than you feel comfortable acting and, y'know, take it in baby steps. Declaring yourself as trans is a pretty big step, and there's no reason to take that step yet. I guess...just try doing what comes naturally to you without trying to feminise it because you think you have to.
I mean, look at it this way: masculine women are way more socially accepted than feminine men, generally.
If there comes a time when you do think that you'd want to really take steps to become more like a biological male, you can deal with that when you get to it. And maybe, if you do get to that point, by the time you do, there'll be better options for FtM sex reassignment (since the penises you can get these days...well...I'd encourage you to wait for technology to improve a bit.)
I guess my point is, you're young. Maybe you are trans, or maybe you're just not comfortable with feminine gender roles. Either way, you don't have to decide tomorrow. Just...play around. Experiment. Find what makes you feel right and what doesn't, and take it from there.
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Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:10 pm
Ahh...I just got kinda worried because, well, the hormones seem to pass easily in younger persons.
Which equals a better chance at a reasonable d**k.
whee
Transitioning must be weird.
THANKYOUSOMUCHWITHHEARTSANDCAKEbutnotcookiesANDEVERYTHINGELSE for your advice! I guess I could do that. Maybe. But yeah...SF would make it a little easier..¬¬ Maybe I just get hung up about it by the Catholics....I dunno. I still think I'm going to tell my in-the-head doctor on Tues, but what you've said was -extremely- reassuring.
So thankyou for helping my with my emo time one again, dear.
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