Welcome to Gaia! ::

"if you are in live with someone then send this to
every one on your list within 2 minuits and your love
will set in touch with you within 1 houer it really works"

This is the content of an email I recieved today. This is not the first email of its kind to make it's way into my inbox. I feel the need to respond.

Dearest ******** comforting, nay, heartwarming as it is to know that you care enough to take the time every week or so to spam me with bullshit chain letters, I'm afraid I need to ask you to stop. It's not that I don't appreciate it. Really. It's that if you don't, I'll have to kill one of us, and I usually disapprove of suicide. Also, I'm far too lazy to track your sorry a** down, disembowel you, find a way to strangle you with your ridiculously elastic intestines, and THEN go through all the trouble of hiding the body and making sure I don't get caught.

So I ask you, please, for the love of all things sacred and holy in this world, shut the goddamn hell up. Or stop breathing my otherwise usable oxygen. I don't particularly care which.

If you find that these tasks are too difficult, then perhaps you should focus your energies on learning about this magical language I like to call "English." As much as I adore illiterate ********, I find it rather sad that an individual such as yourself feels compelled to do whatever seems popular. Be yourself! If "yourself" truly is this stupid, then you go drink the stuff sitting under the sink while I b***h-slap your mother for not aborting you.

Love and kisses,

Eviloverqueen

Yay for Everloverqueen who pops the all mighty cherry of the wonderfull guild of Irate gians biggrin

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