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Me and My Lauri

Chapter 1


It was an quiet, warm summers night. And not the best time to be pregnant. In another attempt to keep cool, I threw thepe sheet off me and sighed.
Lauri's sticky grip didn’t exactly help either. He was holding me tight—but not too tight as to squash the baby. His light fingers had been on my stomach since we had slept and now were an unwelcome inconvenience. I wriggled with my 37 week old bump under his gentle grip and tried to get comfortable to sleep.
It had been one mad rush as usual. The guys were on tour and as I had arranged to stay in Helsinki with my friends but Lauri had insisted we all travel by boat to our next and only gig in London as the Doctor had slapped a ban on flying. And despite a few doubts about how near I was, he insisted that we I come with him. So we were sailing to our destination.
I was uncomfortable. And felt as though I had a beach ball in my stomach with a glass ball in it that jiggled with each unwelcome wave.
I wriggled again and tried to move onto my side better. But I had a really bad cramp in my leg. I moaned irritably as I tried to get up and rub it away.
Lauri woke instantly. My darling doting husband.
“Hunaja? Are you okay?” He mumbled looking sleepily into my face.
I muttered irritably as I tried to shift my weight to roll towards him. He moved accordingly to accommodate the bump between us.
“I'm just hot…” I replied as I positioned my bump snugly between us.
“Aw…” He cooed and kissed my clammy forehead. “Hope my son isn’t keeping my wife awake.”
“No…The bloody heat is…” I sighed and dragged my hand across my forehead.
Lauri took his sticky hand from my stomach and smiled.
“Not long now Sieva nena…Soon;” He smoothed the sticky hair on my forehead from me and smiled “We’ll be back in England and we can have a nice…cool…air-conditioned…nap.”
“Maybe for you…He hasn’t stopped kicking since Hanka…”
“Is he still kicking?” he asked looking at my tummy.
“Yeah.” He steadied his hand just below my navel where the baby usually kicked and waited…
Nothing.
“Maybe he heard you?” I suggested and pulled Lauri as close to me as the bulge would allow. His warm flesh felt nice on my equally hot hands.
“Feeling better?” He smiled and planted a warm kiss on my lips. I inhesitantly opened my mouth and he began to slip in his warm, wet tongue.
Baby kicked under Lauri's hand.
“Think he heard you…” Lauri smiled. “never get sick of feeling that…”
I kissed him again—even now—his kiss was sweeter than ever. His tongue, warmer and more responsive against mine.
His gentle, soft, attentive touch still sent shivers up and down my spine and recently, his soft massage of my neck, back and legs—if I were tired. I would sit on his lap…or he would sit behind me and massage my stomach and send our baby and often me to sleep. Lauri’s voice seemed to send him to sleep.
My pregnancy was now in it’s eighth month and I was in my 37th week. My scan had revealed that we were expecting a little boy. Aki our self-proclaimed God-father had asked to honour or agreement and call him Aki.
Lauri had told him to get stuffed and that we were going to name him when he was born.
Now Lauri was lying by my side. His hands stroking my neck as he tried to soothe me and consequently our son back to sleep.
“You look beautiful.” He smiled stroking my face.
“I feel fat.”
“You’re not fat…You've got our son growing inside you…You look gorgeous…”
He moved his face towards mine and kissed me softly and gently. Deeply examining and exploring my mouth with his tongue. Each kiss felt like our first...new and delectably tender each time.
How he could find me at all attractive while I had the lump the size of a watermelon between us I’ll never know. I felt about as gorgeous as a Hoover. His kiss was so soft and sweet I lost myself in it as he gently stroked my back.
“Mm-Mmm…Ow!”
“What?!” He began.
“He kicked!” I winced holding my stomach.
Lauri sat up and clicked on our lamp and looked at me as if to say ‘I’ll sort this out…’ before moving his kiss to my stomach and kissing it. He rested his head on the solid bulge and smiled as he talked to it.
“Now listen to me little man…your mummy…Is so tired…and she needs a lot of sleep…so just give her a nice little break huh?” He kissed my bump again before caressing it with his warm hands, His wedding ring gently rolling on my bulge.
I wanted to kiss him, hold him and…well…do other things…
But I couldn't. Obviously. I rubbed my back and scowled as our son applied just enough pressure to hurt.
“Your back sore?” He asked.
“Yeah…I swear it’s an elephant…”
“Come on…On your side…” He began putting a pillow on my other side and gently rolling me over. I knew the drill and rolled on my side. The pillow resting against my solid stomach.
He slotted a pillow between my knees. He lifted my pajama top and began to rub his firm hands over my aching muscles. As usual his touch brought instant relief.
“Hmmm...” I mumbled encouragingly.
“That good?”
“Hmm…”
He continued to rub his warm hands over my suffering muscles.
“He still kicking?”
“Not as much now…Think he just likes to remind us we’ve got our responsibilities now…Your son certainly has a weird concept of timing…”
“You can say that again…” he smiled and kissed my cheek. “Talk about fast! But I wouldn’t have it any other way my darling…”
I closed my eyes again and tried to get some rest before we had to get up.
“Eero’s agreed to be godfather…and Pauli…and Aki…”
“Great…” I mumbled and smiled.
“I asked Eero as he threw up…”
“Oh…he still sea-sick?”
“Yeah…Never seen him so sick…Not even after I put that laxative in his tea…”
“You are a wicked thing Lintu…” I smiled. He giggled softly and kissed my back.
His rubbing became softer…and more kind. Just the trick for my poor muscles. I moaned softly as he did the right things.
“He asleep yet?” He asked quietly. That quiet way in his soft Finnish intonation that sent me weak at the knees.
“Maybe…” I mumbled “Hasn’t kicked for a…Ow….Yeah…He’s awake…”
“Oh…I wished he'd give you a break…” Lauri sighed kissing my shoulder.
He slid a pillow under my hips and rolled me back towards him so my stomach was central. He began to rub it again…
“Lets try and get him to sleep?” he suggested.
“I think he’s on for the night.” I sat uncomfortably up and smiled at Lauri who was still tending to my stomach. “He’ll be okay…Trust me…He's just not tired…Probably sleep all tomorrow instead…when I have to be awake…”
“I'm worried about you though…” He kissed me softly, once on my lips and rested his head on my shoulder “You’ll get tired too…”
“I can sleep tomorrow. Besides…you have to practice for this gig…”
“I know…” he lay back and sighed loudly “I want to do this gig...not sure about you staying backstage…It gets pretty boisterous.”
“I know…” I smiled and nudged him with my head “I was the one getting boisterous in London…When they lost the equipment? Found it in the wrong set? I can’t believe you went on stage with your leg in plaster!”
“I can’t believe you married me…and now..” He smiled and ran his hand across my stomach and round to my waist.
“You’re beautiful…”
I scoffed, not believing a word.
“No…I mean it…I mean…how can something…that carries a new life inside her not be?”
“Millions of women do it every day.”
“Not as well as you.”
He kissed me. I kissed him back, deeper and ran my hand down his neck. He stroked my hair and neck too. It seemed the only thing we could do…but it was damn nice. His kiss became deeper and softer against my sensitive mouth as he slid his wet tongue in and out of my mouth. It felt nice.
We carried on like this until I stopped and looked down to my stomach.
“He’s asleep…” I whispered.
“Is he?” he whispered back in a similar tone.
“Yeah…” I nodded and looked back into his melting green gaze and continued our kiss.


*


I woke up the next morning with the fog horn from the ship. Lauri called it something obscene for waking me up and smiled at me.
“Are you okay?”
“Hmmm.”
He bent down to kiss me. I gave him a long smooth, passionate kiss. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and began to move it gently against my tongue. It was hot and delicious, knee weakeningly so. I wanted to suck all of the breath from his lungs in this one kiss. He climbed onto the bed and next to me as the kiss deepened. His ran his hands over my bump and up towards my chest, he stroked my tender and sore skin carefully and then moved back down to my bump.
He moved his hand as the baby kicked hard.
We broke the kiss reluctantly as Lauri stared; fed up at my bump.
“My son certainly picks his times well.”
“I guess…He's decided he wants breakfast.”
“Well I guess he should get breakfast…” Lauri smiled and helped me out of bed.
Now he couldn't hug me properly, as he always told me he would crush baby. he hugged my side instead. This was cute.
I dressed in my maternity jeans and top which had a cute baby bird with a nappy on it. Aki had brought it the day after he discovered we were going to be parents. Lauri brushed my hair and smiled into the bathroom mirror behind me as I tried to freshen up in the bathroom.
I tucked my hair into a band and held his hand tight.
“Love you Lintu…”
“Love you nena…And Vauva Lintu…” He replied stroking my bump.
He referred to our baby as ‘baby bird’. I thought it was sweet.
I stood up as he opened our cabin door and prepared to help me up the steps into the main breakfast room.
“Is Pauli, Eero and Aki going to be there?”
“Should be…” He replied helping me up the steps. “Eero has a few travel cramps in his guts so…maybe he won’t…”
He smiled and helped me up the rest of the stairs.
I entered the dining room as Aki and Pauli all got up to greet me.
“Hyvaa Paivaa...” Pauli Smiled checking out my bump. “Is baby okay?”
“Awake…” I replied and sat down uneasily. Aki scowled as he imagined how difficult it could be to have a baby attached to your front.
“Kicking all night again?” He asked looking at the bulge coming from under my shirt.
“Yeah…using my stomach wall as a kick-boxing pad.” I replied and held my hand over the top of it and smiled.
Pauli smiled then looked away sheepishly.
“Where’s Eero?” I asked.
“He’s travel sick.” Aki grinned and smiled at Lauri. “So have you decided on any names…?”
“Look Aki…We have made a rational decision not to name baby until the birth.” Lauri replied.
“But you know it’s gonna be a dude!” Aki smiled broadly.
“But….We aren’t going to name him until he's born.”
“I can see the rationality in that….” Pauli replied. “Makes sense…in a superstitious way.”
I made a slight jerk as our son kicked a hole right into my intestines.
“Ouch!”
“He kicking still?” Lauri asked looking sideways at me.
“Uh-hu…” I mumbled.
Lauri gave an excusing glance to our two guests as he ran his hand across my stomach and smiled.
His hand stopped where the baby was kicking and waited.
He then smiled and looked triumphantly to Aki and Pauli.
“Kicking…” He explained. Pauli didn’t know quite where to look but Aki furrowed his brow, proclaiming it sweet with his expression.
I kissed the sideburns on Lauri's face and whispered in his ear;
“I love you Lauri.”
He smiled and gave a faint shudder as my breath caressed his ear and neck.
“Think he’ll be a soccer player?” Aki asked.
“Why?” I asked.
“With a kick like that he could score a goal in another country…” Pauli completed.
“No…He can do what he wants…just hope he has his fathers eyes…”
“Mothers…” He argued kissing my shoulder.
“Fathers…”
“Mothers…” He grinned as his kisses become more indignant.
“Fathers.” I dared to argue.
He smiled and violently kissed my shoulder.
“Lauri?!” I giggled and tried to shrug his tickling lips. My back panged again. I scowled as the baby made his weight to me a real burden. Lauri behaved accordingly and rubbed my back.
“He’s really using you as a water bed today isn’t he…”
“Hmmm.” I replied as I tried to shift accordingly. “Water bed would be nice actually…”
“I’ll try and fix something.” He promised and smiled as he got up. “Now…you still hungry?”
“Think Baby is…Why would he be kicking so much…?”
“Maybe it was that third coke you finished last night…” Aki suggested rubbing his eyes under his glasses.
“Maybe…I was too hot…kept drinking. Bet it sent him hyper…Can I have something warm…No unusual cheeses no pate and be careful with meat…”
“Darling…I’ve read enough books to know what my wife can eat while she’s got my baby in her tummy.” He kissed my cheek softly.
He then left. He was beautiful.
He attended all of my classes. Remained present during my examinations and was so supportive during our scans. The last scan I had…the baby was lying towards the transducer. Lauri smiled and held my hand and then the baby started to suck his thumb. Lauri started to cry and kissed my gel-covered tummy.
He still cried whenever we went for a scan.
And the baby…knew him already. Whenever I was talking to him, the baby would kick and whenever his hand touched where the baby was, the baby would wriggle and eventually fall asleep.
In my 20th week he was kissing my smaller bump and was gently singing to it as I tried to get some sleep and the baby kicked for the first time. Lauri had his hand on my stomach at the time and felt it. He looked into my eyes, almost crying and kissed me for a long time.
It seemed as though he hadn't stopped kicking since.
I loved my husband…and our baby.
Eero came and sat down and made a deep ‘ugh’ sound in his throat before nodding to me.
“Morning Eero…feel better?”
“Lots…” He replied weakly “ I need…tea…How’s the little one today?”
“Keeping us awake all night.” I sighed and smiled “Don’t expect it will be the last time…”
Aki smiled and shook his head.
Lauri came back with a tray. Three coffees, one tea…one orange juice and a breakfast meal for me.
“Here…Eero…Pauli…Aki…and my baby…Got you toast and cereal.” He smiled to me and kissed my cheek. “Eero you feeling any better?”
“Lots.” He repeated “Don’t travel well…Back’s driving me up the wall…Need tea.” He reached for his tea and steadied his shaking hands so he could drink it.
I smiled and began to eat my toast. Burnt and crisp…dripping with honey…My craving.
Aki sighed and looked out of the window.
“Must be nearer to Italy now…”
“Good.” Eero smiled as the ginger tea settled his stomach. “Can’t stand this kind of travel. Faster by plane…”
“But she couldn't travel by plane…She’s almost full term…If she travels by plane she could get hurt. And our baby. I think that I can sacrifice the contents of your stomach for the contents of hers…”
“Where are you going to have your baby?” Aki asked me.
“Finland.” I replied. Lauri looked at me and smiled.
“you sure?”
“Sure…They’ve been perfect since we went to antenatal classes…”
“Home or hospital…?”
“Hospital.” Lauri decided reaching out to place his hand on my stomach.
“Why not at home?” I asked looking at him directly.
“It’s just…thought you might…” He moved to sit right next to me “…be better looked after in Hospital…They have all of the pills and stuff in hospital and you can have a rest…and baby will be safe…But if you’d rather be at home…I can get a midwife and a Doctor and some nurses and…”
“Hospital then…” I agreed and rubbed my nose against his cheek. “No worry Mr. Ylonen…”
“Your morning sickness stopped then?” Pauli asked.
“Hmmm…Not been sick for a while now…Just backache…”
“Hmmm…Have you tried those gentle yoga exercises I taught you?” Eero asked drinking his tea. “They do wonders for a bad back…and trust me I know…” he said pressing on his own. Coincidentally where mine hurt.
“I’ve tried….but my back hurts so much…” I replied and rested my head against Lauri's shoulder.
“Hmm…Maybe you should try some under water massage?” Pauli suggested.
“How would that work?”
“Well…you get someone to help you into a swimming pool and they rub your back as the water supports your weight…Its a complimentary therapy….read about it on the Internet.”
“Sounds good…” Lauri smiled as he breathed gently on my neck. His sweet, hot breath made my skin creep and somehow shift.
“Hmmm… …I'm thirty seven weeks. We’re going to Britain for one quick date at the Astoria and by then I’ll be almost full term…By the time we get back to Finland it’ll be a bit tough…to organize!”
“Not necessarily in Finland…” He smiled as he planted a tender kiss on the top of my spine.
It sent a gentle shudder all over me and must have woke our baby because I could feel him wriggling in my body.
“Ooh…Baby got woken up…” I then shuddered as our son placed a very unforgiving kick in my stomach.
“Do you want to go back to our room? Get some sleep?”
“Hmmm…” I agreed helping myself stand. Aki stood too and helped pull me up. I thanked him and turned to my husband who was finishing his boiling hot coffee very quickly.
“Come on…” He said breathing out steam “Lets try and get him to sleep again…you think he’ll be this much trouble when he's out?”
“Think he's just excited.” I replied. “Know I am.”
Lauri planted a firm kiss on my lips and smiled as he walked me inarticulately to our cabin.
The waves were soft today and the hot salty sea air was getting to me. I could think of nothing more satisfying then a cool bath. Yet I knew that was unlikely. Lauri had been sweet enough to help me bathe since I had started to have trouble getting into our modest tub at home. Although we had never had problems fitting in it together before.
He would wash my back and wash my hair and my bump. He thought it was funny to balance a little rubber duck Pauli had brought for the baby with the baby bath set on my wet bump. I thought it was funny too. He’d sponge my bump and make little patterns on the sudsy film before kissing it and getting his nose and lips all soapy.
He also helped me dry…he’d wipe the suds from my back and dry my hair, and pat my bump gently dry with a flannel. It was a real bonding experience for him as the father of the bump and as my husband.
At first I thought it strange for him to help me with my hygiene… but now it was second nature as I could barely sit down unaided.
This bump that had swollen in my stomach like an alien had made me feel heavy, ugly, awkward and uncoordinated as I wobbled around our house in Helsinki. I had grown out so far that none of my tops fitted, and I needed to take slower walks around. Lauri was dutifully by my side. We took short walks around Finland. He told me constantly that I was beautiful, that pregnancy really illuminated my already existent beauty and that each day I looked more radiant.
I of course took it all as bullshit.
I felt about a radiant as a potato. And a fat potato at that. But I couldn't deny the fact that our baby…Mine and my husbands baby was growing inside me…and I loved it.
Lauri still acted the way he did when I was still… ‘just me’…he still told me he loved me…cooked for me…and took me for romantic dinners followed by lots of cuddling and kissing…Marriage and impending fatherhood had not impacted on him like that. But his sweetness…and softness…When he cuddled me he would rub my stomach, and kiss me and my bump together...walk with me slowly…carry anything heavy I would usually be able to manage, and stay in when I felt tired and he was invited out. He was the perfect husband, man and father.
And I loved him incessantly.
When I woke up. Because of our kicking son in the dead of night I only had to breathe unevenly and he would wake with me and hold me tight until I fell back to sleep.
The first few weeks as our son found his feet (quite literally in fact) was difficult for both of us. I would fall asleep at seven at night, be awake at three (usually baby’s favourite time test his reflexes) and stay awake all night. For me this was not so much of a problem. But for Lauri who would insist in waking with me, stroking and rubbing and kissing our bump until morning light appeared…it was; as he was often required back in the studio to record…an hour later.
Eero had been concerned and called me in confidence to tell me that Lauri had just fallen asleep in the middle of singing backing vocals to the latest track on the new album.
I eventually learned to wake alone. And not disturb my tender and affectionate husband.
He guessed I had done this when I started sleeping right through the day. He decided to organize for me to come to the sessions that he changed to be only at night so if I was awake while he worked…he could come and sit with me during the breaks.
I loved Lauri so much…He was the perfect husband.
And Pauli, Eero and Aki were all the perfect God parents. If I had to go somewhere and there was absolutely no way that Lauri could shift his schedule and be with me…he would ask Aki to drive me there and protect me. I told Lauri that I needed no protection but he argued otherwise saying that I had a very special miracle in my body and that I was his miracle and needed protecting.
If I had to spend the night alone, if he had to visit somewhere or something he would ask Pauli to stay in the guest room and look after me. If I was feeling really unwell as baby kicked the hell out of me, or if I felt sick or moody he'd ask Eero for advice and Eero would produce some wicked ideas…At first I hated the taste of ginger tea…but it seemed to control my nausea and gentle, yoga exercises really made my body supple and my back a lot more flexible…as we found out…
Plus the gifts they claimed they saw and just had to buy the baby.
Lauri was being unusually superstitious and made me store all of the baby’s things in an sterile shed outside of the house. I think he was so scared of something bad happening to us…
I didn’t mind. I loved Lauri….even his little quirks.
Now he was taking me back to our cabin for a sleep as our son decided to wriggle against on my bladder.
“I need to go to the toilet.” I announced as I steamed forwards towards our cabin. He unlocked the door and helped me step in. I waddled to our en suite bathroom and went to the toilet.
When I got back out he had padded out the bed with pillows and he was lying beside my usual right side place on his usual left side place. He patted the bed and I smiled and walked over. He sat up and knelt as I crawled onto the bed. He wrapped an arm around my waist and moved in to gently kiss me, I opened my mouth invitingly as he moved to touch his tongue with mine. He cradled the back of my head with his hand and I crumbled into his gentle hold. He kissed me so softly and tenderly; I thought I was floating away for a moment. I mumbled and held him tightly back. He was so soft and sweet…I just wanted to hold him as tightly as my body would allow.
He laid me down on my side and rubbed my stomach soothingly as he kissed me. I was so in love with him…I wanted him.
I felt his lips brush mine urgently and I opened my eyes. His face was mere centimetres from mine as he teased the skin of my lips with his hot, wet tongue. I moaned and pounced on his tongue. He rested as near to my body as the bump would allow. His warmth was so comforting and welcoming against my body, despite it being far too hot. I didn’t mind his warmth as I missed it terribly.
He was moaning softly as I possessed his tongue, keeping it captive in my mouth. It was so soft and moved with a fluid grace around my mouth, it felt almost part of my own body. I ran my fingers through his hair as he moved from my bump up…towards my chest.
He was certainly doing me a lot of good…and our son was unusually quiet too. I moaned too and intensified my kiss. Changing my tongues movements so I could tell which one was mine as I was so lost in his kiss.
He rescued my tongue as it unhooked from his and passionately concentrated his kiss deeper, longer and more sweet. The gentle slipping of our tongues with his saliva against mine was so sensual it made me breathe unevenly. I think he could tell as my breathing became uneven and harsh against his skin. He held me tighter and tasted my tongue as I savoured his.
The baby kicked hard and I inadvertently bit is tongue as it kicked.
“Ow!” I called as he retracted his tongue and wiped his mouth.
“What?”
“Little sod kicked me again!”
“Maybe he was bored…?”
“I wasn't…” I replied holding him tight.
“Well…we are supposed to be making him sleep.”
“But I was getting comfortable.”
“No…My love..” He began resting his sweaty forehead on mine and smiling. “There is nothing more that I would like more than to be….with you…right now…but, I'm afraid….He won’t accept No for an answer.”
“I know.” I kissed his nose.
“Now…If you just roll over…onto your side?…”
I smiled as he rested his hand on my hip and rolled me gently onto my side. My bump contacted with some gentle pillows as I hooked up my top so I could feel the cool pillow against my skin. He gave a satisfied mutter as I did and he saw me tuck up my top.
He gently began to stoke my back. Then apply soft pressure to my lumbar muscles that ached under the weight of a 8 month old baby in my tummy.
I gave a gentle groan as he hit the spot exactly.
“That good?”
“That’s the place.”
He applied more gentle pressure and began to knead the muscle with his fingers.
“So what about what Pauli said about being in water?” He asked. “It sounds good to me…”
“Sounds…okay…” I replied as I closed my eyes hoping our son would fall asleep, so I could.
“Would you be up for it?”
“yeah…Only if you did the massage though.”
“Why…am I that good?” I heard him grin.
He applied more gradual pressure.
I moaned again as he dissolved some pain.
“I take that as a yes?”
“Mmm-mm…”
“So you would do the water thing?”
“Mmm-Mmm…”
Gradually, the aching stopped and dulled and our son…stopped kicking me.
I was falling asleep, when I felt my husband lie right up against me. Feeling him right up against me, so warm and so soft. And hold me round my stomach.
“You content Lauri?”
“Hmmm…More than I thought I would ever be.” He replied and kissed my shoulder blade.
“That’s good.” I agreed and kissed his hand.