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Okay, this topic is for real. Really. It's the age-old question that has been made by Sort-of-trolls since the dawn of time.

What would you do during a Zombie Uprising?
How would you defend yourself?
Would you fight them or run from them?
Would you stay with friends or would you stand alone?

You're no fun.

I think I'd be the one human who wears the suit and sits in the big chair, the sort of "creepy living leader" of the zombies. I'd be responsible for their uprising and profit from everything ^^

I, like many of my fellow /zom/bies, would go into "kill-all-who-oppose" mode. Those who are not useful would be eliminated. Those who have been bitten would be eliminated. Fortify a gated community preferably: do not go to a mall! Others will have already thought of that!

Simon's Zombie Survival Plan:
[(c) 2007 Jonathan Beatty]

This guide assumes that you are assuming the leader position. If you are following another survivalist, assist him in following these guidelines but do not contradict him too plainly. He may kill you to maintain order.



Chapter One: Do's and Don't's

DO: become a cold, heartless beast when it comes to survival. Emotions can get in the way. This will require that you kill innocent people just because they are useless.
DO: bring along food and water. Canned foods are the best.
DO: bring weapons. Guns are a last resort. A melee weapon such as a well-reinforced blade will serve you much better.
DO: some research. Is it viral? Bacterial? Supernatural? The slow zombies are the easiest, followed by the runners. The most difficult zombies will be the supernatural Severed Legion-type zeds.
DO: kill anyone who has been bitten. The risk is too great.
DO: find out if there is a cure. However, this is a low priority. Until then, kill the infected.
DO: form squads of three. To maximize effectiveness, each squad should contain a member trained in explosives, a member trained in ranged weaponry, and a member trained in technology and mechanics.
DO: assimilate uninfected survivors that could be of use to you.

DO NOT: use a chainsaw. Splattering of blood could infect you through an open wound, mouth, or any of the bodily orifices. Instead, opt for a more effective bladed weapon such as a dai-katana or halberd. Remember, distance is survival.
DO NOT: feel remorse for those you had to kill. This is why much of the population will die; they will refuse to kill their family or friends. Unacceptable.
DO NOT: go to a mall or grocery store unless you are seriously strapped and ready for a fight. Other zombie survivalists will already have taken up shelter inside. Even if you manage to take it, you will have to fight other groups along with the dead.
DO NOT: split up. Strength in numbers is important.
DO NOT: use guns unless you have to. Not only will it attract zeds, it may attract the infinitely more dangerous living human.
DO NOT: drink water that was not bottled before Z-Day. Boil all stream water before drinking.
DO NOT: take chances. If there is a chance of infection, avoid it.
DO NOT: be a d**k to your followers. Even though you have authority over them, they are still thinking, feeling human beings. Their survival is important to yours.



Chapter Two: Who To Bring

First and foremost, bring your friends. The ones best trained in survival or weapons are the first priority. Boy Scouts training is next to useless, though. You will need company while you are surviving. You need people who know and trust you to help maintain order in your group.

Second, bring your significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend. You will need sexual and, more importantly, emotional support during the time you are hiding out. Allow your followers to bring theirs if you find their loved one to be sufficiently useful. After all, their survival is important to you, and they will need support as well.

Know any NRA advocates or gun freaks? You need them. The majority of them are not of good enough mental quality to be worth their assistance; however, their houses are ripe for the picked when it comes to weapons. Kill, pillage, move on.

If you find any survivors, inspect them. If they are uninfected and useful, bring them along. If not, kill them and take their resources. On the rare chance that you come across another group, parley with their leader! Agree to a compromise, come together, or simply become allies! However, if the group seems exceedingly violent, kill them immediately from a distance. If impossible, flee. Retreating is not cowardly when it comes to survival.

Policemen and military pose a problem. Do not go into a quarantined area. It is a breeding ground for infection. The civilian population, unable to understand the new world, will try to help and treat the infected. Unacceptable. Avoid the armed forces at all costs. If you come across a small group trying to round up survivors, kill them and take their resources. A squad car can come in handy in some situations, or you may give the officer's weapon to an unarmed member of your group.



(Still under construction...)

Okay im ready for just such a question. Genetically engineered syphilis. Yup i said syphilis. Syphilis causes large boils and sores on the body and, theoreticaly, if it could be engineered to form primarily on hands and in mouths then it would allow the disease to be passed on through pus after biting and/or scratching. Now for the mindless violence. Neurosyphilis is when the disease takes hold in the CNS (central nervous system) and can lead to extreme violence, amnesia and phsycosis.Imagine having all those symptoms, starting to sound like a zombie eh?

now to the main topic.

1) I would try to survive duh!
2) A nail gun would do nicely and if that fails i have access to a katana.
3) Fight my way to loved ones and take them somewhere safe. (like a boat)
4) See previous answer.

According to my guide, it also says the safest place would be some type of high-rise building. If you cut down the stairs and the elevator is out (assuming there is no power left), then you'd be safe for months, even years (also assuming you have enough food and supplies to live that long ^^; ).

Yes, thus why I added what's in the last part of the final sentence. A lot of buildings high enough are mostly corporate, so it's not very likely to find caches of food and ammo and so forth. So a place like that would be more like an ideal destination where supplies could be brought to, maybe by some secret means of traveling up where zombies cannot.

Good to know there's company razz