|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:46 pm
Hello kiddies!
Now it's time to gather around the fireplace and let Granny tell you a story.
This story is like no other.
It's the story of the four-eyed floating raccoon-bull Princess.
Once apon a time in the kindgom of Boring, Oregon, there was a family that ruled over the land. A Bull King (That means he is a bull) by the name of Vlad sat on his expensive, custome-made throne.
One day, when he found out his wife, Queen Natalia, was kidnapped, he sought out to find the culprit. The people that kidnapped the Queen were very strange people indeed. They were half human, half raccoon. The leader of this group of strange creatures was holding the Queen hostage in it's lair and had set a list of clues for the King to follow if he ever wanted to see his precious wife again.
Because the King was so "loyal" to his wife (actually she was the one that made decisions for him regarding new laws for the kingdom), he put his life in danger to find her. He entered the nest of the mysterious raccoon people and drew his sword as one of the guards approached. The sword was so shiny, it caused them to lose their sight temporarily, allowing the King to pass with no blood shed.
He continued into the depths of the lair until he found the one holding his wife hostage. It was the most beautiful creature he had seen. A beautiful female with a fluffy raccoon tail. He found out soon that the raccoon leader was jealous of the Queen and wanted to get rid of her to be with the King. Flattered, the King accepted her offer to be courted and the Queen ran off the edge of a cliff with the King's cherished 1957 candy apple red corvette. The King merely shrugged and went off to have wonderful love children with this beautiful raccoon lady...erm thing.
Their only child was a girl and she grew up to be a fine girl indeed. She was one third human, one third raccoon, and one third cow (bull). She became the princess of the land but the Queen came back from the dead and climbed up the cliff she had drove off of and possessed the young girl when she turned 21 so that she would not be able to find a prince for her, thus ending the line in royalty. In doing this, the girl became a horrible monster.
She became a four-eyed raccoon bull princess. Okay, well she was that anyway but now she was a SCARY four-eyed raccoon bull princess. Okay, she wasn't scary but she did decide to live in a swamp nearby. Since she couldn't swim, she bought a floatie at a local Wal-Mart. Anyway, the royal scientist had dumped nuclear waste into the swamp one morning and the four-eyed raccoon bull princess became emotionally unstable. The toxins got to her head and she snapped.
The ghost of the Queen was forced out of her soul and the princess walked out of the swamp and into the meadow of happiness. The meadow of happiness was right next to the swamp and some of the flowers had recieved the toxins through photosynthesis and became carnivorous plants. They looked pretty but could bite your face off if you came to close. The crazy princess took one of the flowers and wrapped it so it couldn't bite her and she slaughtered all the centaurs and unicorns in the meadow until she reached the palace. When she got inside, she screamed at her parents. "WHATCHU TALKING BOUT, WILLIS?!" and because they were old, they lost their hearing and had to use funnels to hear. "WHAT?!" they yelled back in unison. "GRAWR! I'MMACHARGINMAILAZERS!!!" she yelled before beating them to death with her evil flower. "Thatswhatchugetforcheating!!" she said quickly before stealing all the gold and jewels to get money for plastic surgery and a trip to Hollywood to marry Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise at the same time.
The moral of the story is, don't cheat on your wife with a raccoon because your daughter will beat you to death with a flower and take your moneys. You'll know it's her if you hear trash cans being knocked over and you see her in your backyard pool. Your cat's food will probably be gone too. ;3
--Yeah, I don't know what made me write this story but I got bored and kept staring at my avitar too long wishing I had enough gold to get the demonic anklets. ;C
--please post comments here--
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 3:35 pm
surprised Oh...so that's how it works. And here I thought if you cheated on your wife, a mutant soap opera actor would jump out of the TV and eat all of your Cheerios, so you died of starvation...looks like I was wrong...
Very nice story xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:13 pm
maple_chan surprised Oh...so that's how it works. And here I thought if you cheated on your wife, a mutant soap opera actor would jump out of the TV and eat all of your Cheerios, so you died of starvation...looks like I was wrong... Very nice story xd No, no, no, no, no...see, THAT is if you are human. If you are half human, half bull and you cheat on your wife, then your daughter will beat you to death with a carnivorous plant. ;3
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:26 pm
Oh, so I AM right! That's a relief...it's good to see I learned SOMETHING in school lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:36 am
eek <--- doesn't even match my eyes open in shock
I um... don't really know what to think... ummmm... what DO I think??
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 1:37 pm
RuinedBloodshed eek <--- doesn't even match my eyes open in shock I um... don't really know what to think... ummmm... what DO I think?? I don't know. I'm not a mind reader! xD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
