|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 11:35 am
Okay, so the title isn't really ReWrite, but having failed to come up with a name, and this being a rewritten version of "Gadget", for which the title no longer applies, the name just kind of stuck.
To warn you, I'm highly sensitive about this story. I do appreciate criticism, but please be gentle. This is my baby, and it's only on here because a certain friend of mine begged me. *glares at said friend*
Okay, so I'm not really mad....at all.
Just please, please be gentle....
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 6:59 pm
*follows Petaurista's gaze and looks past herself, pretending like she isn't the one being glared at* I wonder who she could be talking about... *she says innocently* xd
After reading the first post:
Hurray for random ponytail of death! So many times I've been smacked in the face by Sclark's ponytail in school... lol
I like Wes. He's my fav so far. If you ever did pair Erik with Wes, I'd totally be for it! heart (And thus making me even more of a shounen-ai fan...curse you cute pairings!! Why must you taunt me so!! *shakes fist at sky*)
Something I noticed that I found odd:
"Why are you always so early?" The professor was an old man everyone was convinced was insane.
"Yes." He took a seat in the middle, towards the right. He had noticed that the old man had a habit of teaching towards the left and completely ignoring the other side, except for the back. He liked to pick on the whole of the last three rows.
The professor asks "Why are you always so early?" Erik responds with "Yes", which doesn't make a lot of sense since it wasn't a yes or no question...I'm a little confused confused
Other than that, I love it so far 3nodding I'll read more and comment the next big chunk of time I get...which will probably be later tonight.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:00 pm
After reading the second post: Wes has glasses? D'oh! I like my men with contacts Xo Ah well, I'll just picture him without them whee
This was a cool section...definetly added some real mystery to the story.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 1:44 pm
Hmmm well right now I don't have too much to say. just that I like it so far!.... but I'm not too sure on the plot line. But I'm sure I'll get it later. mrgreen
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:42 am
After reading the third post: WHOA!!! Erik was talking about the Chaos Theory!!! Ruin mentions that in her story too!! Man, am I the only one that's NEVER heard of it before?! rofl
Halfway through I found this:
"Yeah. Elixabeth. Why?"
I'm assuming it was supposed to be Elizabeth, so just a heads up that you've got an X in there ^_^
Oh no, Erik!! What's happening to you?! crying
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 4:54 pm
The first typo, Maple...
gonk I can't believe I missed that!!!!! That's one of those parts that I've changed over and over so many times that I finally missed something!!! crying
Thank you so much!!!!!
I can get rid of Wes's glasses if you'd like. They aren't exactly important. Although Erik also has glasses, and getting rid of them could be a problem. I'll just have to think of something! It can't be that hard.
The pony tail thing....yeah, I actually got that idea from watching her almost hit Maia one time. sweatdrop
I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE WES! AGH! I was SO worried about him. He gets an even more prominent role soon enough.
Ah, yes, well....Elixabeth isn't a typo. But since it likely to become a topic of frustration, I shall change it. Eventually.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 7:49 pm
Your welcome xd
Oh, get rid of Wes's glasses! 4laugh Erik seems like the type that should have glasses, but I think Wes would be cuter without them 3nodding
Really? Elixabeth? That's cool!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:59 pm
Okies..since you're so interested in Wes, I shall give you a little of the profile I have on him.
He's the type who wears nice clothes -not the stuff most of the guys at school wear (EW!) - but is still casual. He's on the tall side of average, slim but not scrawny, and has a tendency to make it seem like he's being selfish in order to help others. As evidenced....later. It might already be here, in this version, but I'm not sure. Too many versions running around in my head. O.o
He eats ALOT and often. He's considerate, and if I could write funny, he'd be funny.
I hope you don't mind I borrowed a few of your characteristics for his character, Maple.
Hehe, I'm very glad that you like her name. I thought Elizabeth was too overused (and that was before I read Frankenstein.....oy....).
Okay! *waves magic wand* Glasses gone!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 6:48 am
You borrowed a few of my characteristics? Aww, that's so sweet! *glomps* heart
Just a minor thing:
He couldn’t work and faster or longer or harder. (Any, maybe?)
Poor Erik...he's going through so much!! crying I liked the scene with the shower...how you said it didn't matter the temperature of the water, because he couldn't feel it. He just wanted to wash everything away surprised That was cool.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:47 pm
*huggles* You're too awesome not to be in my beloved story. And however untrue it sounds, it is completely fre of any facetious-ness and/or sarcasm.
Omg....I don't know WHAT I would do without you. sweatdrop All these typos...it's really not like me!
Wow...I worked on that scene for all of like...five seconds. But the rest of this goes in a pm, not here. sweatdrop
I LIKE EMOTICONS!!!!!! mrgreen
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:03 am
After reading the fifth post:
I like emoticons too! 4laugh
One of the buildings it was located behind was the science center, and every few days it emitted a mysterious nasty-smelling smoke that had kept everyone away for the year and a half he had been releasing energy in it. (The end part of this sentence confused me...but I'm easily confused...)
Oh no! Wes has been messing with Erik's cure stuff! crying
I really liked this chapter (break/post/whatever you want to call it xd ). Nice showdown between Rossinger and Erik 3nodding
Oh, WOW! THAT END THING WAS AWESOME!!! I need to go to Cross Country now, but, when I get back, I'm totally reading the next post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:06 am
heh...it's really not that exciting. Mostly I just needed a few things explained and that was the best way to get the most questions answered in the smallest amount of time. And, of course, a good amount of foreshadowing. ^^
*twitches* Run on sentence...must....die....
Thankyouthankyou!!
Was it too graphic for the disclaimer? I didn't think it was all that bad, but I wrote it so I'm more than a little biased.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 10:40 am
*looks back at run on sentence* Oh...I actually understand it now...never mind, there's nothing wrong with it. My bad xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 11:31 am
*makes face* I don't want it to have to be read twice to be understood.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 3:06 pm
Ok, I've copied the whole story and I'm half way through it! Would you like me to post them here or PM them to you? I promise it's construtive crisisum!! heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
