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[ EatRandomStuff ] Captain
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 Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 6:01 pm
Hello, fellow adventurers. During your many travels through our beautiful land of Gaia, you may come across a very special and unique creature: the n00b.
The n00b is a remarkable creature as it disguises itself as a regular citizen of Gaia. This is the n00b's primary form of attack as it will allow the wily n00b to get quite close to you before inflicting damage. Luckily, their disguises are usually poor and can be identified as their armor may be several levels out of date. Also, the n00b disguise is based on a sad misunderstanding our common culture as their equipment may not reflect the job they are trying to portray.
Be careful not to confuse a n00b with a similar species known as the newb. Newbs can be distinguished from n00bs by their use of proper grammar and good manners.
A n00b can be identified by it's distinct call. This call can be heard from quite a distance as most n00bs seem to only communicate through /shout. If you listen carefully, you may be fortunate enough to spot a n00b.
Here are some examples of common n00b calls:
"PLZ can i hav sum goldz!!!"
"Sum1 buy my sword!!!"
"Ne girlz wanna ciber?!!"
Now, once you have identified a n00b, I must recommend that you stay as far away as possible. Unless you have a great deal of experience with n00bs, any interaction may be harmful to both your physical and mental well being.
If, however, you choose to interact with a n00b, this simple translation guide may help you. Here is a look at a simple conversation with a n00b including a n00b to english translation.
You>> Hello there. How are you?
N00b>> wow u r rich. Can I have goldz? (english: I notice that you have nice gear and wonder if you might be able to aid me in acquiring my own gear)
You>> No, no, good sir. I worked for my gold. You may not have it.
N00b>> but you gotz lotz!!! (english: I understand your feelings on the matter, but find it difficult to actually acquire my own goldz)
You>> I know, but I cannot just give you money.
N00b>> N00B!!! (english: apparently I am confused and think you may be a member of my species. Do you know Fred?)
You>> I apologize for the misunderstanding. I am not a n00b.
N00b>> STFU!!! (english: I am of a differing opinion and feel that it might be best if we agree to disagree)
As you can see from the above conversation, interspecies communication with a n00b can prove highly difficult.
In all interactions with a n00b, please take care to leave the n00b as you found it. Their social structure is quite fragile and any assistance you may provide may raise them to a new and dangerous level: the ferocious asshat.
Thank you for your time. Remember: have your n00bs spayed or neutered.
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 6:06 pm
Wow...
I see.
xD
Have you ever considered that nOObs also say 'UR SO HOT!'
xD
It happened to me once...
From a girl who thought I was a dude...
T___T
It happened more than once though...
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J a c k W a l t e r s Crew
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 2:34 pm
xX[W]ild.[E]yed.[J]okerXx Wow...
I see.
xD
Have you ever considered that nOObs also say 'UR SO HOT!'
xD
It happened to me once...
From a girl who thought I was a dude...
T___T
It happened more than once though... lol that happened to me a few minutes ago. some girl came in and was like," hey, p5! wink ur HOT!!" I was like, "Psh, I'm a girl" she ran away. It was hilarious.
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:06 pm
wow noobs .. I mean n00bs are really dumb lol.
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Xx-Funeral-4the-Living-Xx Crew
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 2:46 pm
Also, n00bs seem to think, that if you own a collectible, you must be rich. As soon as I got my winter rose, I started getting messages asking for donations. domokun I will bite off the n00bs head!
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:30 pm
*giggle*
that was funny, yet informing.
*applause*
>.<
n00bs suck life and beauty from the world.
lol
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 12:33 pm
Chemical Lady wow noobs .. I mean n00bs are really dumb lol.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 6:42 am
rofl rofl rofl That was great...
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Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:14 pm
Beautiful and informative.
That was hilarious to say the least.
I'm immune to n00bs as of right now, I'm not rich =) (wait that's not good crying )
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![[ EatRandomStuff ]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/7f/4a/5187d920494a7f_flip.png?t=1249106279_6.00_11)
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