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Izayas. [WIP; crits and advice welcome!]

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growly beast

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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 6:00 pm


NAME Izayas. (pronounced "ih-ZYE-iss") Nicknames include: Mr. Pokey!
GENDER Male.
AGE 33, physically appearing about 21 or so by human standards.
RACE Ejderha.
HOMETOWN
OCCUPATION

APPEARANCE
Tall, even for an Ejderha, Izayas stands an impressive 6'5", weighing in at about two-hundred pounds (which will definitely increase as he grows stronger)--he isn't overweight, hardly, but his body is composed primarily of powerful muscle--so it's obvious that much of his skills are heavily invested in the raw power of his body.

Izayas' face is strong but handsome, with a well-defined chin, accented by the triad of small draconian spikes protruding from either side of it, dark brown in color. Sitting on his brow, above a pair of dilated moonlit eyes--which make him look a bit crazed, no matter what mood he's in--is the same feature, his appearance seeming to imply he might be a bit more 'feral' than the average Ejderha, these traits somewhat uncommon in the race but nonetheless present.

There are 'bags' under his eyes, but not the sort one would expect: dark red streaks, markings, begin at the bottom and swipe their way outward to the corners, as if a smudge of makeup. Just below that are a series of rough, scab-like 'birth-marks', patches of scaled skin, numbered three, descending in size the closer to the center of his face. This pattern is repeated on other parts of his body, but are usually hidden by clothing.

His skin is a naturally rich tan, accented by the odd burnt orange coloration of his coarse, unruly hair, one half tightly braided in rows against his skull and the other let loose in a tangled mess of bangs hanging over the right portion of his face, once in a while done up in several braids as well. A thick, spiky pony tail is tied with a raggedy dark cloth at the back of his head. From the back of his head there are a few very, very long hair wraps, usually pulled around to the front to rest on his collarbone, adorned with various threads, beads, and charms.

As for his most prominent features that mark him distinctly as a member of his race, atop his head rests a pair of dark brown horns, with two pale cream strips near the base and fading points. Their shape is quite similar to that of a kudu, except they are slightly shorter and not ridged. From his back sprouts a pair of powerful, leathery wings which are dark, reddish brown; a clawed thumb protrudes from the top, and along each "finger" there is a claw as well, between them tan webbing.

Incomplete. Must add clothing, accessories, scars.

References:
[examination of facial features, hair]
[left profile, waist-up w/ weapons] (warning, this one isn't completely safe for work/school)
[examination of body structure] (probably not completely safe either)
[weapon idea #1]
[weapon idea #2]

PERSONALITY
Words to work off of: aggressive, cheerful, crazy, unpredictable, feral.

Izayas is happiest when he is ruining something. That isn't to say he's a bad person; he just likes to make things as messy as possible, and revel in it, like a destructive puppy. Order of any sort drives him absolutely mad, and he must have constant motion and change--for even if he is sitting down, he will more likely than not be bobbing a leg, tapping his claws, or chewing on something (even if it isn't edible, but thankfully he has an iron stomach), and if he is extremely frustrated, tensing his body up so much to the point where he starts to shake. It would be very easy to pin some kind of attention deficit disorder on him, as it seems the only thing that he can hold his focus on is rigorous physical activity.

But he isn't a complete fool (though he does enjoy ignoring social norms because he feeds off shock value), regardless of the fact that he holds absolutely no interest in book-smarts or any sort of thing that involves sitting down and concentrating; his true passion is quite simply beating the crap out of stuff, and that is what makes him the perfect brawler. His inexperience shows quite glaringly at the moment, however, judging by his severe lack of "looking-before-he-leaps", which gets him into all sorts of trouble, especially when he doesn't watch his mouth.

As mentioned before, Izayas is exceptionally destructive. He kills things he sees as enemies indiscriminately, or at least aims to make a lasting impression on those he gets into scrapes with; mostly, at the moment, this includes a lot of monsters and some humans, who ought to keep on their guard in his presence because his patience wears thin with their kind. Not only does he severely lack in the tact department, but his method of destruction is ruthless. He favors using his own claws, teeth, and has been known to even get a bit creative with his horns. Surely, a buck from the side of his face could do some damage to tender flesh.

Incomplete.

HISTORY Note: All characters mentioned will get names once I think of them!

Izayas was born full-blooded Ejderha in the city of Nasaja (now Sovya), thankfully healthy by his kind's standards, even weighing quite a bit more than the average Ejderhan newborn when he came into the world. His mother was a housewife who rarely did little more than obsess over her son (because in secret, she was very sickly ever since her pregnancy, so this worried her constantly as her life might be shorter than she expected, and felt so blessed to have a child like him). On the other hand his father was a proud soldier in the Ejderhan military with a vehement hatred for humans, who was often away and rarely saw them; the gaps often lasted as long as several months, with him only home for a week or two in between.

When Izayas was sixteen (about ten and a half in human years), his idle mother began a very scandalous and ironic affair with a human merchant, finding it easy to cover up because her husband was never around. It was the result of a mix of boredom and loneliness, and his mother had never been very responsible, so it was not unlike her to bite off more than she could chew. The affair lasted several years, but when he was twenty (thirteen), they were exposed: because the human boasted the fact he had bedded an Ejderha so easily, word spread all the way to her husband. Peculiarly, the human went missing shortly after.

The next time he came home, her husband's rage was quite obvious. He made it very clear he had no qualms with causing her bodily harm to punish her, which Izayas often witnessed first-hand. It marked the beginning of a rage building inside him. Weeks passed, and so it seemed that his father had taken some sort of extensive leave from his position in the military, and as a result never, ever left his wife's side, now obsessed with watching over her and trying to control her life. On several occasions, Izayas became so angry with his father tha he wanted to lash out at him, but his mother always told him to restrain himself, knowing that he could very well be killed for misbehaving. His rage brewed inside.

Knowing this kind of life was completely against what she wanted for her son, in a rare moment of freedom, she took him away and left him with one of her former lover's friends. This human merchant's intent became apparently less lovely, because he required a hefty fee to take the child in: a night with her, perhaps to test the theory the other man had told him about, which she hesitantly agreed to only for Izayas' sake.

After the night was over, she was gone the next morning (and her husband never saw her again; she may have committed suicide) and Izayas was left with the human. It was then he was taken to Camacho where the man thought he saw business opportunities, and young Ejderha was never to see his family again. Now twenty one (almost fourteen), the merchant set him to work on his first job as a manual laborer, taking advantage of the boy's natural height and strength. His first tasks included being the one to transport the majority of the merchants goods to the ship they were to take, and in turn, take them off and to the location of the new shop. He was sore for weeks.

It didn't take long for Izayas to decide that he hated Camacho. To a child, even one as strong as him, it was a verey scary place. On top of the "growing pains" his hefty job caused him (which was taking in new shipments of whatever the merchant was selling that week and arranging them accordingly), Izayas had trouble coping with the separation from his mother, and now his frustrations were greater than ever. At first, he cried often, his only joy seeing the disgruntled look on his new master's face when he found several things in his inventory misplaced, destroyed, or gone all together. But soon the merchant caught on to his destructive nature and took to beating him for every error, whether it was his fault or not. He tried to focus his anger towards his usual work, but on top of the physical strain of carrying heavy things in and out every week, he now had to deal with painful lashes at his back, wings and legs. There were some days where he could not move at all.

The cruel process kept itself up for years: Izayas would accidentally misplace or break something, would be beaten for it, and in turn lash out with rage on whatever he could find, be it the items in the merchants store, or even small animals, left dead in places where the merchant would fine them, for spite. These antics, of course, often earned him even more beatings. But the merchant never once considered getting rid of Izayas; having an Ejderha "pet" became an idea he was beginning to romanticize, and although in private he was treated terribly, the merchant kept him well groomed and fed, showing him off to other humans as his prized possession. With severe tension rising between the races, owning Izayas was like spitting on the Ejderha races' faces.

* Master picks up a gambling and drinking habit, which severely hurts the business.
* Master gets the "bright idea" to make Izayas a brawler and so he is rather blindly entered into an informal "tournament" ran by pirates, to earn him money.
* Pit-fighting adventures ensue. Izayas gets a lot of scars, probbly almost killed on several occasions.
* Eventually learns how to unlock his inner rage--something he refers to as the dragon--to increase his power. He does not, however, ever get to share in the wealth that his master earns from him.
* Izayas becomes accustomed to the fighter's lifestyle, and the fact he is mildly successful doesn't help his master from stopping his habits. He has no proper training and so his abilities are rather limited at this point.

Incomplete.

COMMON KNOWLEDGE

___________________________


DIVISION Melee.
CLASS PROGRESSION Brawler > Barbarian > Berserker. (To be expanded on.)

    LEVEL 1: BRAWLER. +5/+0/+0, 43HP/12 evade.
    Name taken from the fact a Brawler is an individual who frequently participates in brawls, they are crude fighters who rely mainly on brute strength and not much skill. Many brawlers are not very smart, Izayas included, but their battles are notoriously brutal. Some show potential to be great fighters some day. At this stage Izayas is only just beginning to tap into the power of his heritage, the dragon, earning himself the skill Dragon's Rage. His only weapons on this level are what he was born with: claws, teeth, horns, though his fists are often bandaged.

    LEVEL 2: BARBARIAN. +8/+0/+2, 53HP/16 evade.

    LEVEL 3: BERSERKER. +12/+0/+3, 63HP/20 evade.


SPECIAL SKILLS
Dragon's Rage (positive stat effect; self only): +3, +6, +9 melee depending on level.
* Izayas is sent into a frenzied rage, triggered by his draconian heritage, increasing his melee abilities.
* Earned at level 1.

Dragon's Hide (regen; self only): +3, +6, or +9 HP depending on level.
* Izayas' skin toughens and heals damage if any is present.
* Earned at level 2.

Dragon's Claws (bleed): -3 for 1 round, -6 for 2 rounds, or -9 for 3 rounds HP of opponent, depending on level.
* Izayas' claws or weapons become even more dangerous than before, enabling him to inflict deep gashes that bleed continuously, draining an opponent's health.
* Earned at level 3.

Narrative skill ideas... Thick skull, strong jaws, longer/sharper claws, more spikes than an average Ejderha, something something.
Not going to necessarily use all of these, just a bit of a list until I pick three to talk about here.

WEAPON Claws, teeth, horns, possibly wings.
LEVEL One.
POINT ASSIGNMENT Melee +5, Ranged +0, Magic/Other +0.
HIT POINTS 43.
EVADE 12.
OTHER NOTES Unable to read. Has +3 HP because he is an Ejderha. But I'm wondering... is there any possibility of upping that HP bonus? He is going to be intended to primarily a heavy tanking character, and I imagine him having extremely tough skin to because he's probably somewhat slow and might have a lower evasion or something... dunno. Just a proposition.
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 6:07 pm


Looks promising ^_^
Good luck.

MagicSpring


McFroglegs
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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 6:31 pm


Hey! What you have so far looks great!

My only suggestion is to clarify that Mr. Pokey can only buff himself and that the only stat increased is Melee. (Ranged and Magic being boosted by a Berserker Rage seems counterintuitive.) 3nodding
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 6:46 pm


McFroglegs
Hey! What you have so far looks great!

My only suggestion is to clarify that Mr. Pokey can only buff himself and that the only stat increased is Melee. (Ranged and Magic being boosted by a Berserker Rage seems counterintuitive.) 3nodding


Fixed. heart

growly beast

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fartclops
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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 7:37 pm


Mr. Pokey looks good! I really like your writing style, well, what I've seen of it so far. XD
PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2007 1:29 pm


Yay. Added some stuff, but still very unfinished...

growly beast

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earthkid

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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 10:59 pm


The mods agree that your progress is looking really good. biggrin We like that despite having such a rough background, you've taken him in an aggressive direction rather than making him very weepy about it. McFroglegs will be commenting later with more substance on his history and personality as she's our Ejderha person.

I know you've still got to adjust to reach the new standards for the numbers, but I like the ideas you had and I saw the talk about the potential for a specific berserker stat increase. I'd like to see that used! 3nodding

Also, you could totally argue for a handful more hitpoints. Just explain to us the reasoning. What immediately comes to mind is that because of his rough childhood he has a high pain tolerance and can take more of a beating than the typical Ejderha.
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 12:18 am


Tiny review: I really like what you have going on so far and am eagerly awaiting more details about Izayas. His personality's very distinct but cohesive, and he seems like he'd be really interesting play.

WRITE MORE NOW, JULIVEY. +_+

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:56 am


Here I am as promised! Only a day late. sweatdrop

As far as Ejderha specific stuff goes, it all passes by me. As you have noticed, the Ejderha can have wildly different appearances despite having general traits in common. My only concern had been whether or not his spots were naturally occurring, but I think that you explained them well. (I'm less concerned for Izayas' spots and more concerned for him starting a trend of Ejderha with random pretty dots on their faces when it is not a common racial trait. Rough scaly patches work for me.)

Everything in personality checks out for me, though I did have one hiccup. I imagine this is not what you intended at all but it could be read that you're connecting attention deficit disorder with the following sentence and characterizing those who have it as foolish and unable to concentrate or have any interest in books. I highly doubt this is how you intended it to be read, but attention deficit disorder gets thrown around a lot in RP profiles and generally isn't characterized properly so it's something of a personal sore spot. (A lot of people, including other players, tend to see the words and interpret it as some sort of freebie idiot disease to poke fun at.) UHM. The actual sentence that it is mentioned in reads fine, it's just the following stuff that makes me go ._. since ADD sufferers are generally quite intelligent, just unable to properly focus themselves. (And omg, I am so sorry for babbling on like that. Please ignore my soapboxing. Just make your meaning a bit clearer. ._.)

History checks out for me. Ejderha are much like humans culturally and humans have their good and their bad so I can buy that Izayas' own family had its share of problems. I also understand that you're trying to build a good explanation for why he has the Rage inside of him and appreciate that you aren't just tacking on a very rough life for someone who ends up being a weak-willed bard or something. Ahem. xp

Skills check out. You might have some M/O stat issues with the newly posted system, but again, we're willing to try to find solutions on how to make things work for everyone. 3nodding
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 11:28 am


Thank you to everyone! I'm glad you like him, I was a little worried his history might be a little bit heavy on the emo-factor, but I don't think I could play someone who is whiny and weepy and pathetic over it. Hahaha.

McFroglegs
Everything in personality checks out for me, though I did have one hiccup. I imagine this is not what you intended at all but it could be read that you're connecting attention deficit disorder with the following sentence and characterizing those who have it as foolish and unable to concentrate or have any interest in books. I highly doubt this is how you intended it to be read, but attention deficit disorder gets thrown around a lot in RP profiles and generally isn't characterized properly so it's something of a personal sore spot. (A lot of people, including other players, tend to see the words and interpret it as some sort of freebie idiot disease to poke fun at.) UHM. The actual sentence that it is mentioned in reads fine, it's just the following stuff that makes me go ._. since ADD sufferers are generally quite intelligent, just unable to properly focus themselves. (And omg, I am so sorry for babbling on like that. Please ignore my soapboxing. Just make your meaning a bit clearer. ._.)


Regarding the ADD thing, I know exactly what you mean. I suffer from ADD myself and dealing with it for years and years and finally just getting on a form of treatment recently, I know it certainly doesn't equate with being dumb, but it's certainly a big struggle to deal with. It's a pretty big pet peeve of mine to see characters with symptoms of real diseases portrayed inaccurately, and I do realize how uppity some people can get with stuff like that. While I think I could probably write that pretty well, I didn't want to formally pin him with that--there's no one that would ever diagnose him with that, and I don't want to be the target of people who are "characters with diseases" nazis making sure I get everything spot on when I'm a person with the same problems as my character. razz

Izayas isn't an idiot, I didn't really want to portray him as a typical "dumb but really strong guy" if that's what you mean. He can be pretty crafty when he wants to be, but he's the type to make decisions on the spot without much rationalization, and doubly doesn't care for anything that might be considered formal education, because he simply has no attention span for it. If he's dumb at all, it's just he's lacking knowledge of things like reading/writing really well, history, etc. The fact that he puts all of his effort into more physical than mental things is really just his way of coping with his issues.

Anyways, thanks for all of your nice compliments again, I'm glad I can get through this with minimal troubles! I will work out his fighting stuff a bit more soon and such. heart

Oh yeah! About his spots... they aren't random pretty marks, they are indeed rough patches of skin. I didn't want to make them really common and have a bunch of other Ejderha running around with them because it's something that might be a bit unique to him, especially since he's the one known for his tougher than usual skin.

growly beast

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 1:58 pm


I am sooooo so sorry about soapboxing. xd ;;;; I really did not mean to, but as an ADD sufferer as well, it's something that hits close to home for me.

As for Izayas, I think that not explicitly labeling him as ADD is the best route. Your original sentence that that said he could be labeled by some is fine, I was more flustering over the rest. In general I agree that it's best to use the 'symptoms similar to' line rather than outright labeling something like OCD, etc since yeah, then there's accurate portrayals, etc to worry about.

I think it sounds like you've thought well about everything you've presented here. Personality works for me, it was just a phrasing issue that I wanted clarification on. I've seen so many characters who are like "MY CHARACTER IS A SUPER HYPER DITZ. SHE HAS ADD." and that is like their whole personality and it hurts me so much. ._.

So. Uhm. Yes. REALLY. I am sorry for jumping on that. It's all cool. Honest. xd

And the spot explanation sounds good to me. I don't want a ton of spotty Ejderha running around either. wink
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