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Lance Der Immaculate

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shmallow
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 2:39 pm


Username: Lance Der Immaculate
Times online: At least once a day, but life calls sometimes.
Prefered Genres: Anything
Limits: None
Wont do: Harry potter, Alice in wonderland (?)... Or anything else I dont feel like doing.


Tap Tap Tap Tap is all that is heard as the silhouette of a young boy runs through a darkened hallway. He is being chased by something with a poetically sinister feel about it, though it is truly horrifying to the boy. TapTapTapTap His running becomes far more frantic as he spots the epitome of hope, a light at the end of this tunnel. He can feel the beast breathing down his neck, urging him to run ever faster to his freedom. Though, hope is even an illusion as the floor falls out from under the boy right as he arrives at the light. Far, far he falls, only to once again find himself in the jaws of the beast.

Zade awakes with a start, sitting bolt upright on top of the sky scraper where he was peacefully sleeping. Zade is a Neko, one of the few left in this city, for many have fallen into slavery for the vampires. Vampires..... They seem to run the world now from the shadows, they get anything they want, anytime they want it. This fact gave new birth to the slaving industry. Buying and selling Neko, Kitsune, and Lesser demons is a legal practice, for the Kisune, Neko, and lesser demons are viewed as things, not beings. Some of the lucky ones, like Zade have escaped slavery, though life on the outside is simply miserable, but it is better than being a ******** slave for a vampire. Again, Zade is one of the lucky ones, he is still a virgin. Though it is a two edged luck, in keeping his innocence, a vampire can smell him from a mile away, so he is constantly on the run.

Zade is indeed a lucky one. By human standards of beauty, he is top class, even though he is built exactly like a cat. He is bony, yet muscular. His muscles are all small yet firm, and his figure is immensely complemented by his feminine curves. Everything about him was so feminine, he is easily mistaken as a girl except when he is naked, and his well endowed proof is hanging out for anyone to see. To add to all of this, Zade boasts a five foot long abysmal black furred tail, and of course, pointed cat ears. Only adding to his value as a sort of love slave for anyone, is the fact that he has a very short, very soft fur covering every inch of his body. The fur is very blond, looking to be only skin until you get a closer look. He is very soft, velvet to the touch, and for a vampire, his blood is as sweet as sugar. All of this is his gift, and his bane.

Sitting atop the 40 story building, Zade yawns softly, loving the feeling of the warm spring breeze playing across his fur. Gazing across the skyline of the building of the city, he watches for several hours as the sun sets. "Time to go..", he states softly and stands. All he wears is a tight black swim shirt, and a pair of old worn Tripp Pants. Recently he has escaped from his last master, and he is happy to be free, happy enough to forget about the peircing hunger he bears in his stomach. Haphazardly, he leaps from his perch atop the building, and lands on another building just a little lower the the other one where he had slept. Jumping now from building to building, he giggles to himself happily, adoring the feeling of flying through the air. He felt like a bird, so free, having the entire sky to fly in, oh how he wished that was his case.

He stops on a small apartment building, hearing the sound of footsteps behind him, light and short, they have to belong to someone who is keen on tracking prey... 's**t!', he thinks and gracefully ducks under a hand reaching out to grab him. As he ducks under his attackers hand, he takes the position an Olympic runner would at the start of a race, and he jumps away, launching himself far away to land on a higher building. He spins around to face the one approaching him, and his heart fall to see who it was. Kagura Kenpachi, an asian vampire who makes a living on hunting down escaped slaves, and returning them to the market. "Time to go kitty.", she coos, and pulls a whip from her belt. Zade lets out a growling mew, and yells, "You can go to hell! Im not going back!" The vampiress laughs, and steps toward Zade, "You are a compulsive sinner arent you kitty?" Every step that she takes forward, Zade takes one backwards, "Look who's talking?", zade retorts, "If im a compulsive sinner, that means I can't help myself, and by definition, I am an innocent." Smirking at the boy's quick wit, Kagura states softly, "Well said boy..." With that said, she rushes forward with blinding speed, not giving Zade any time to react, and she collides her fist into his diaphragm with the force of a wrecking ball, making the Neko fall to the ground like a rag doll, and black out.

Zade awakes in a cage suspended above a paved street inside a large warehouse on the south end of the city, the biggest slave market in the area. It would seem the boy is the catch of the day. Crowds of humans, and vampires alike mass around the boy's cage, gazing in wonder as the seller announces prices and such for the boy. Zade, tuning himself out to the drabble of the market rests his head against the bars, and for the first time in 4 years, he cries softly. Once again, his freedom has been snatched away. 'Never again....' he thinks as he quickly wipes his tears away, 'I'll never let them make me cry again..'
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:08 pm


Content: 4 points
Spelling: 2 points
Grammer/Punc.: 1.5 points
Structure: 2 points

Total: 9.5 points

He is very descriptive and a great writer. The only thing that got me was some over use of commas here and there. But otherwise he is fantastic ^^

shmallow
Crew

Fashionable Lunatic

3,550 Points
  • Bunny Spotter 50
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  • Brandisher 100

fencerboy

PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 9:38 am


Poor Zade... crying

Content: 4
Spelling: 2
Grammer/Punc.: 1
Structure: 2

Total: 9

yes, over used commas...
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 4:37 am


Content: 4
Spelling: 1.8
Grammer/Punc.: .9
Structure: 1.9

Total:8.6

Kaylib Caremelo

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