Welcome to Gaia! ::

Reply The Composition Corner
I Require Creative Criticism...

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

X_X_zero_X_X

PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 1:39 pm


Immortal

In life or in death I will be waiting indefinitely for you. I’ll sit up on the pedestal that you made for me, not able to feel the slightest breeze or fierce storm that might pass. I'll be here waiting for you, for forever. I'll sit so effortlessly still, even as the feathers from my wings start to fall away, making a bed of pebbles around me.
I'm not so beautiful anymore; my eyes are not so tempting anymore. I am not taken care of, ignored by the world around me. So many people pass me by without a glance, but still I wait here for you.
I sold my soul because you promised me you'd be here forever, and when you were gone for a time I would protect this place. Sadly, you are still gone and time is whispering by, and if I have a heart, surely, this feeling is of it breaking.
The rain washes away bits of my memory, so that the name on my dress isn’t legible any longer. The flowers you used to leave me, like the kisses, have long since died away.
I thought I was alive once, but I realize I've been cold and stone for ages. It was always your warm touch that made me wonder otherwise.
Oh, how I still dream about your unfulfilled promises and professions of love to your lost one that I protect, all falling and dying from your lips as fast as your tears from your eyes. Once you even walked to me from miles away and wept for hours at my feet.
Now I think you've found another angel to cry for, and angel that you can call your own. That's okay, I will not be bitter, because you taught me of the faults of mortals and of forgiveness without even trying to.
Maybe I'll see you again someday. Maybe someday soon you'll walk that long way again to weep, and lay flowers at my feet once more.  
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 5:58 pm


I need it also stare

Yukiko8


maidentears

PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:58 am


Wow. A very impressive short story. I love the way you insinuated the character's situation and being without straight-out telling the reader. For me, at least, that's the hardest part of writing short stories. Lovely!
Reply
The Composition Corner

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
//
//

// //

Have an account? Login Now!

//
//