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Kupo =
Chocobos
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Moogles
53%
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Mages
13%
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Uncle Cid
6%
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Zidane
6%
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Total Votes : 15


xLa Vie Nightmarex

Galactic Smoker

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 7:57 am


Thoughts
Thoughts forever encased within her mind,
No one able to get her to talk.
She walks around in her own little world,
Always in a daze.
He tried to talk to her,
Tried to get her to open up.
Failing greatly til her realized,
He loved her.
She found it hard to believe,
Someone actually had true feelings for her?
She wouldn't buy into it.
She wouldn't believe the trickery.
But, what's that feeling tightening in her chest?
What's with these thoughts of him?
There is no way.
There is no how.
Why?
The girl thought for a while.
She had trouble saying it.
The words wouldn't come out.
He asked what was wrong.
He asked what was going on in her head.
"I love you!"
The thoughts found words.
Shocked by what she'd just said.
Shocked by what he replied with.
"I love you, too."
She was relieved,
Smiling wide.
Was this how it felt to open up?
Joy, happiness, fulfillment?
I love him,
I really do.
I'll say what's on my mind.
I'll tell you how I feel, always.
You're slowly taking away that pain,
That pain you say is in my eyes.


It's kind of an inside story... between my boyfriend and me... but i wanna get opinions... I only recently wrote it and it's my first "love" poem... comments?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:45 am


BuMp!

xLa Vie Nightmarex

Galactic Smoker


Blitzkrieg Bopper

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:31 am


your a poet, and i didnt know it. wowsers bowsers
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:34 am


Lol! Good rhyming yourself. Theres tons of other poems if ya clicky on my Writers Temple sig. ^^ maybe that linky one too.. >>

xLa Vie Nightmarex

Galactic Smoker


Poet

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:40 am


PrincessGarnet17
Lol! Good rhyming yourself. Theres tons of other poems if ya clicky on my Writers Temple sig. ^^ maybe that linky one too.. >>
Good rhyming.. except for the fact that he rhymed two words that don't exist domokun ninja
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 1:11 pm


Poet
PrincessGarnet17
Lol! Good rhyming yourself. Theres tons of other poems if ya clicky on my Writers Temple sig. ^^ maybe that linky one too.. >>
Good rhyming.. except for the fact that he rhymed two words that don't exist domokun ninja

Lol! True, but it is funny! ^^

xLa Vie Nightmarex

Galactic Smoker


Bee4Bird

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 2:06 pm


heart
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 7:43 pm


heart 3nodding

alis in wonderland


xLa Vie Nightmarex

Galactic Smoker

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:38 pm


You guys actually like it? ._.
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:38 am


It was Beautiful!


IceDemonKurai


Original Egg


Spec!al

PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:09 pm


Awww User Image
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 8:19 pm


PrincessGarnet17
You guys actually like it? ._.
Yes, but your poll confuses me confused

Bee4Bird


Better Off Naked

PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 8:49 pm


The poem itself is nice, but I like the last four lines the most.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 9:50 pm


[Button]
The poem itself is nice, but I like the last four lines the most.
*tears* 3nodding

Bee4Bird


carrots_rock

PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 9:36 pm


Free verses rock. B)

I actually always try to find some bit where artists/poets can improve, but I've looked your poem over several times and I can't find anything worth mentioning. Bravo. :3

Permission to share a poem? ^^
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