Welcome to Gaia! ::

DID I SAY CHEMICAL PLANT? Well...uh....*flash* welcome, we hope you enjoy the food!

table of contents:
1. uh, here. Where else?
2. Where exactly you are. You do know, right? right?
3. The menu of deliciously explosive treats
4. Complaint office
5. Hall of Fatty Fame

APPETIZER MENU: Chemically enhanced to actually work like an appetizer!

G-soup: Now it may just look like alphabet soup with only G's. And well, for the most part it is. However, this soup is special. It has a hint of the G-virus. Not enough to make you a zombie (unless Evil Cheese spits in it) but enough to put more life in your step. Oh, it also makes the soup taste slightly like green rabbit. If you're lucky enough to find the toy blue raven in your soup you win a piece of plastic lodged in your throat!

Zi Fingers: Just like the real thing! Chewy outside, crunchy inside! Just like REAL Zi Fingers! At least, we hope Zi's fingers are like that. o_O

Magus Meatballs: Colorless, bloodless, and eats vegetables. Oh, did I say eats vegetables? It's made of vegetable, sure. Just uh, don't let it near your salad. Or your brains.

Glowing Green Stuff?!: Ok, who's been stealing ingredients from my fridge? Ugh, never mind. Well, we think it's an entree, we're not completely sure, mostly because nobody wants to taste it. But uh, maybe you'd like to have it to start your meal? Please?

Mystery Meat: Due to health code violations this plague ra- I mean mystery meat has been named such for uh, no reason. And hey, it comes with your choice of UFO dip!

00HEVN toasted toast
Yea, the toaster is on a massacre broken, so we're now making toast in the oven. Oh, sorry, I mean 00HEVN. Your choice of spread, from strawberry jam to plastic explosive.

Deep Fried Blue Pickles: They taste like regular pickles, although a bit sweeter. Deep fried they taste strangely familiar, but I cant put my finger on it......OH DEAR LORD. OH DEAR. LORD.

Sk44 water salad: Ok, I admit it's just water that is somehow able to maintain the shape of salad. BUT you can choose your own dressing and even put cool aid in the salad. Cmon, we have salad flavored kool-aid so it tastes like salad.

MAIN COURSE MENU: The fact that you're browsing this means our appetizers worked. Don't mind the side effects.

GIB Burger: C'mon, what would a GIB banquet be without the delicious GIB burger? And don't worry, the staff at section 13 made sure the meat is actually dead. Don't worry, I've yet to see mine move. Much.

Naruto Ginji Udon: At 1st glance it just look like regular Tempura Udon. But look CLOSER and you'll realize that in the broth there is.....Mortal Blood. I'M GONNA KILL YOU, LESTAT! Ugh, well.....Fancy eating it anyways?

Fried Squirmy Things: A big heaping plate of uh.......tasty stuff! It tastes like...Well, we don't want to say what! But it tastes good, I swear! No, it's not the reasons there's soot on my face! that was from the Glowing Green Stuff. Oh, I should not have said that.

Ilafatyu's Flaming Potatoes: oh my god, why are you reading this? isn't it obvious that they're what I said they are? They're flaming potatoes. Nothing special stop reading. They've got G-virus *cough*

BlueRaven: Freshly roasted and delicious raven served with your choice of appetizer! Died of drowning, so might be slightly watery.

Nite's fried green starfish: IS green starfish edible? Well, why don't you check? The last guy who tasted it is ok and he said he liked it. Why, that anonymous taster was me. Oh dear...uh, right back....

Draco Dog Food: It' uh, dog food. But hey, it's gourmet dog food and canine really love it. If you're not a Canine and love it, to each their own. Creep.....

DESSERT MENU: For those with an artificial sweet tooth.

Magnesium Ice Cream: Strawberry ice cream, bit with a heaping mount of delicious magnesium! Combine with our complimentary dry ice and the flavor will literally EXPLODE in your mouth!
The GIB is not responsible for any injuries that may occur.

Burning Crimson Cinnamon Ice Cream: A hot ice cream that will cause a fire in your mouth. It's so hot, it's literally ON FIRE. Don't ask how we managed to set it on fire and still have it cold, I don't know. O_o

Amy Pudding: A pudding that's hot pink, sexeh. The top layer tastes like strawberries and cream Then you reach the delicious bottom layer of pudding made of LOVE. By love I mean nuclear waste. Get your daily dosage of depleted uranium!

Chocolate Coated POPcorn balls a la Yuan: No, I do not know what "a la" means. ANYWAYS, there's a reason the pop is capitalized on these delicious chocolate coated POPcorn balls. ;D
The GIB is not responsible for fire or explosion related injuries.

DRINKS:

LAWLS: No GIB related food event would be complete without an extra dosage of your favorite caffeinated drink, LAWLS. Tired? Drink LAWLS. NEVER SLEEP AGAIN! Extra caffeine if so desired.

ZOM-B-GONE: Sometimes our vegetarian leader feels the need to eat brains. So, when the urge comes we just mix LAWLS with a few drops of the unknown liquid. It may only be a drop or two, but it sure flavors the stuff! and if it makes a zombie not want brains, imagine what it'll do for you!
The GIB is not responsible for loss of appetite for weeks on end.

Zurg Bino: By mixing ZURG with Red Bino the drink that is produced causes hideous mutations, great fun at the dinner table! Don't want to keep those tentacles: No problem! Ask your waiter, he'll remove your deformations for you and use them as ingredients for fried squirmy things. Oh, I definitely shouldn't have said that.

Paul McLawlsmoothie: A mix of IceLawls and bananas to make a delicious and dangerously energizing smoothie! And I dont exaggerate when I say dangerously.

TNTea: A delicious blend of chamomile, vanilla, and explosives! Green Tea has NOTHING on this stuff!

DIPS: Not enough bio-hazards in your Green Glowing Stuff? Then get one of our dips, if you're lucky you'll grow a tentacle! All dips come in UFO bowls.

UFO 01: It's uh, just water. He never did much, so he's just water.

UFO 02: A creamy dip with over 5 kinds of fish inside! The dip is boneless. Well, mostly. We think.

UFO 07: A fruity blend of uh...Well, it taste fruity. Nuff said. Edit by Zi Why does 07 taste fruity? Is that a gay crack? 07 isn't gay yoo silly. LE RESPONSE Fruity things taste like happy, that's why. biggrin
....I'm serious. It's happiness in the form of a seed filled chunk of plant flesh.

UFO 09: Well we considered strawberry dip, but he was too emo for that. So, we went for the better choice and made his dip red bino, ZED, and blood together to make a delicious dip. Since it's not much of a solid dip, it gets put into a UFO for cooking. To preheat oven just shoot it with an alien laser cannon. Just like the real Flarn! WOOO EMO! (all emo changes made by Zi... as..... FLARN NOT EBIL!)

HALL OF FAME

YOu got what it takes to be a GENTICALLY MUTATED FATTY? Well if you do, you will be displayed here for your amazing feats of fattiness. Go nuts, people!

Reserved, I guess.

can i please have 5 orders of the udon!

Yes sir!

Shortly after a few loud explosions, A trolley came with 5 bowls of the udon upon it. It simply looked like red tinged Udon, but read the menu and one would know better.

"Here you are, sire", the head chef said. His face was covered in soot, so much you could not make out his face. Hey, it counted as a mask, right? He then unloaded the trolley neatly onto the table. "extra blood", he asked. He had a packet of blood in case one requested such a thing.

Then he woke up from his daydream, seeing that a server had decided to start servin.