|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:47 pm
BLIZZARD
Blizzard flury winds with thrust
blowing air with cool dust
help me get thru this blizzard now
this blizzard falling from the clouds
Blizzard flury in the night
packed with snow
all about
one in heaven come to me
help me see oh clearly
if you notice i am dying
please stop the constant crying
if you see blizzarding
help me god on my for saken shivering
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:51 pm
i liked it
change ur poem to normal and not sticky
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:33 pm
I like it but why did you sticky it? If you sticky it it's not going to be fair to all the other member's who poems don't get to stay at the top...
Also...you have some typos and i dont' think blizzarding is a word..
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:36 am
i'm sorry, but i didn't like it at all. it had no flow, and when you rhyme some of your poem you have to rhyme all of it, pick one. also, your stanzaic form need serious work, plus you need to fix your multitude of typos.
one more thing, don't make your poems stickies. it's not fair to the rest of us.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
