Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well...at least your writing.

I'd love to tell you that people talk like in books...

...but they don't.

Usually.

Now, if you're Harper Lee or Mark Twain, your characters will talk like they would if you met them face to face. And if you're Zahmen, you'll write an entire first-person monologue in Southern Speech. But a lot of people are woefully inadequate at making people talk like...well, people.

It's like this, see.

Say I was a writer without this gift. I would write this paragraph:

"Come here!" the little girl said to her cat. It came, and she lovingly stroked its silky fur. "Today we are going to town, and then we are going to the doctor's office, and then we are going to play in the field all day long! Does that sound fun, Cat?"

Well?

Yeah. BO-RING.

If the girl lived in the country, it would sound like this:

"C'mere!" the little girl said to her cat. It came, and she lovingly stroked its silky fur. "T'day we're goin' t'town, an' the doctor's, an' then we're gonna play'n the field all day! Don't that sound fun, Cat?"

OKay then.

Or, if the girl was a townie:

"C'mere!" the little girl said to her cat. It came, and she lovingly stroked its silky fur. "Today we're going to town, and then the doctor's...but then we're gonna play in the field all day! Doesn't that sound fun, Cat?"

See the difference?

Now...no one writes the main part (everything besides dialogue) like this. Most people write it sort of impersonal and flowing and with pretty words. It doesn't have to be that way...if your story is serious, it should...but if your story is fast paced or suspenseufl, you may want to consider cutoffs, like so:

Richard pumped the needle up to 80, glancing backwards--his pursuer was hot on his trail--he jerked the wheel hard in a desperate effort to escape, and then--

CRAAAAAAAAAAASH!

Souns effects are good, too. But see how I made it choppy and tense and I didn;t stop to explain things?

It creates that anxious feel. And if you're writing something like, say, someone loses something, and you just say "he pondered all the places that he could have lost his thing", it's boring. Try:

Now, where could he have put it?

It wasn't on the counter, he knew that...it wasn't on the window-seat...could he possibly have left it in the car? No...he remembered carrying it with him...

See?

And if your character is really oblivious, don't point things out in the background that they'd never see, unless it's important, such as...if you have a guy that hates spiders, you'd point out the spiders on the ceiling, but if he wasn't the observant type, you wouldn't put in the title of the faded crate on the floor. Usually, people only notice things they trip over. Pretend that you're them, and you walk into this room...if the room was dark, the person wouldn't be able to see much, unless they were half-cat or all-cat, and if they weren't a construction worker, you wouldn't say that the room was 14'X18'. would you? Whatever the character is interested in--places to hide, spiders, cracks in the ceiling, paintings on the wall, quality of furniture--that's what they'll see first.

So...that concludes Kirby's Experiments on Bettering Your Life.

Thank you, and Goodnight.

I remeber reading this but never commenting. Sorry. >.<;

This kinda reminds me of my Language Arts class, and what we SHOULD be learning but never will, probably.

-___-"


D< In our book it's says this:

"Danny H-too lazy to type out last name- has brown hair and eyes. He is small for his age and wears shorts and baseballcaps.

He is eleven years old. He lives in L.A in a house with his mother and younger sister. His parents are divourced.

He is kind of serious, but sometimes has a good sense of humor. He is responsible- he tries to be the 'man of the house' to help out his mom."

That's horrible! Dx ANd seems like a person with hardly any persoanllity wrote it.

I now, want to re write it-well first <.<; kill it, then rewrite it.

Danny grabbed his baseball cap, putting it over his brown haired head. Before heading out of his room, to the kitchen to great his mother and little sister, he made sure his room was clean and tidy.

"Well, good morning my little man of the house." His mother had said to him.

"Good morning mami. I'm going to school early a bit, okay?"

"Okay, Oh, don't forget to give those invitations to your friends for your 11th birthday party, mmk? And your papi and step mama sent you a gift, too. It should arrive tommorow."

"Okay." And with that, he stepped out of his house, onto the sidewalk of L.A and headed to school, remebering a funny joke to tell his friends.

I feel better now. >w< Hm, maybe later you could join me in the burning of my Language Arts book, no?

>w<; Erm, then how about we reuse the book, recycle it, then make a good book out of it?

And also burn a photocopy, if you want.