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 Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 1:38 pm
Lifeless wanderer
Where are you
Something in the wind
Tells me of your secrets
You have deceived me
How could i see
The distance between
Life and death
Lifeless wanderer
Tell me why
You couldn't tell me
Your secrets so dear
Life is a gift
You have yet to open
Life doesn't seem
So easy at all
Lifeless wanderer
I can't begin to ponder
The difference between
Life and Death
You seem to worship
That girl from next door
You have deceived
In more ways then once
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 8:45 pm
It seemed like a kind of random poem...You could do better if you explained it a little better...
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 10:19 pm
I liked it, but i know you can do better.
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 1:15 pm
it's ok, but it definitely needs more structure.
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