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 Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 4:58 pm
I am alive, I am alive,
but on the verge of suicide,
I tried to laugh but then I cried,
I guess I'll go commit suicide.
She said she loved me so I changed my mind,
guess I won't go commit suicide,
she saved my life,she saved my life,
guess I really am alive.
Now I can throw away that stupid knife,
cause this ain't a letter for suicide,
and I don't have to write goodbyes,
cause I might never commit suicide.
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 5:46 pm
....Like the idea...but...WAY TO MUCH REPEATS!!! No offence! I'm not trying to critisize it but it sounds like a force rhyme now...Don't keep repeating the same words over and over again so it can rhyme because then the quality of the poem just goes down. It's okay to do it a few times but it seems like in this poem you repeat the word almost every line.
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 6:16 pm
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