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 Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 1:30 pm
I'm going through some tough times- Let me explain. Over the summer, I moved from Ohio to New York, leaving behind some friends that you wouldn't exactly call stable. To make matters worse, two of these friends aren't growing up with the best role models.
My friends are being abused, by their own parents.
My first friend has divorced parents, and shared custody. Her dad remarried, and her step mother is our abuser. This is not Cinderella. We aren't getting a Fairy Godmother. There is no Prince.
She's afraid to tell anyone, because she's afraid that her stepmother would win the case against her. Then she'd just be deeper in hell.
My second friend has an older brother. He is not nice. He is not a good person. He hits my friend and gets away with it. He is the favored child. Her parents turn a blind eye to his actions. Her mother is a b***h. She does not give my friend the things she needs. She has taken food away from her as punishment for trivial issues.
She's afraid to tell because she doesn't know where she'll end up.
My second friend cuts herself. I did not find out from her. I found out from my boyfriend. She has not known my boyfriend for very long. Maybe a week, tops. I have known her for two years. I understand she didn't want to scare me with telling me what she did to herself, but it still hurts.
What am I supposed to do?
I want to tell someone. I just don't think they'll take me seriously. I'm scared for my friends, because I don't want to see them suffer anymore.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 6:46 am
To do anything from that far away would be difficult. I can't *completely* relate, but I can kind of so I'm just going to respond to the part I can relate to. I feel bad for your first friend, but I don't know what to tell you about her.
Your second friend is having some issues dealing with emotional pain. If she's cutting AND she was scared to tell you BUT you found out because of some one else that means she WANTS you to know and WANTS you to help her.
Be sure to tell her how much you care about her and how things will get better. Remind her the dangers of cutting and why it scares you but then be sure to remind her that you still love her as your friend and want to help her get through it any way you can. Maybe a pen pal thing would be best.
sad That's a really crappy position to be in - - It sucks being the one to do something but your friends will thank you for being that hero, even if all you did was listen and tell them you're there.
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Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 7:49 pm
Ok one at a time.
The first one with abusive parents
It depends on how old she is, if she's 18 she can leave. I have a friend with abusive and suicidal parents and we took her away from that and now have an adopted sister. But if not sometime the best thing is to just talk it out. Find someone you trust to talk about it but use annonimous names. Find a solution, I can't give you one b/c I don't know all the details.
The second one
I don't know how to help her except sneak her food every day. And also talk to her seriously, you have to get her to stop cutting. It's not alright to do that, most of the time it's a cry for help but sometimes it's to releave stress. Either way it's not hethy and she'll regret it later.
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 4:22 pm
Yeah, well, we're all around 14 at this point, and we live in different states at this point, so I'm in a really tough spot here.
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 7:11 am
Okay if the first friend tells someone that her mother is abusing her then I don't think her single mom would win custody agenst a father who is happaly married.
The second friend needs to sock her brother in the face, and say she is tierd of this s**t and she wants some respect around here. That should tell her brother ******** off. Also let her know that your there for her you can't get her to stop (trust me I know) but letting her know you care could be the diffrence between her being dead and her stopping.
I would know this because I was once in both situations only It was my mother who let my brother hit me befor I said I was not going to let him do that anymore. And when my mother started hitting me I ran away to the police and my dad and his wife got custody.
(Sorry if this is kind of mean its just the way I delt with it.)
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 8:11 pm
I can really relate with your first friend. She should get into court (or social services, I've gone there many times because of my parents) or any other place that will listen to her. I don't know how to help you with the stepmother winning in court, because I don't know how old she is. Social Services (or anyone else that works in that area)will help her. (It's their job, afterall..)
For the second friend, I'd suggest trying to get a parental or someone who other adults would respect enough to listen to. Have them tell the second friend's parents about their son and his behavior. If that doesn't work, try to get someone else the parents would listen to. Someone else already said this, but with the food situation; you can't do much becides steal her part of your food.
If she cuts, its obviously because of the enviroment she's in. If her family can get put back together, she won't need to cut herself anymore. Just supporting her would help greatly. Don't tell her that you don't want her to cut herself, because the fact that she's hurting you, not just herself, will hurt more than anything else.
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:53 pm
See.Hate.Kill. Okay if the first friend tells someone that her mother is abusing her then I don't think her single mom would win custody agenst a father who is happaly married. The second friend needs to sock her brother in the face, and say she is tierd of this s**t and she wants some respect around here. That should tell her brother ******** off. Also let her know that your there for her you can't get her to stop (trust me I know) but letting her know you care could be the diffrence between her being dead and her stopping. I would know this because I was once in both situations only It was my mother who let my brother hit me befor I said I was not going to let him do that anymore. And when my mother started hitting me I ran away to the police and my dad and his wife got custody. (Sorry if this is kind of mean its just the way I delt with it.)
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