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 Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 1:15 pm
from his accident
to his coma
it was bent out of time
i wanted it..to be alright
but then he almosst died
for the sake of god
he lived it thru
but only by prayer from you
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 7:47 pm
I think it sounds pretty good but I was thinking maybe "pray" to "prayers." Maybe you also want to change the first line of "thru his accident" to "From his accident." Also maybe "but he almost died" to "But he just almost died." Hm...i dont' think the last stanza fits very well either...
Meh...You don't have to listen to me if you don't want to because I also have no clue in writing poems. I just make them up and people say the sound good so I'm here to get better also! heart Love the idea though!
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