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 Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:34 pm
this is the last time i will see your face
in misery or disgrace
the time has come to go away
on a mission in dismay
it will not be forsure
but you can see my face in pure
this is the last time time i am here
but while it happens be there
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:36 pm
I thought it was really good.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:26 am
The idea is great; I like it. And I like the fact that you can actually rhyme. I can barely rhyme, so I normally do not. sweatdrop
One thing: the line with "forsure", that is two separate words, not two.
Love from,
Ki
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 7:49 pm
I like it and thought it was very good but it sounded kind of like a force rhyme..even though I do that all the time too! The idea is good but it seemed kinda vague.
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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:56 am
i thought it was very good, but it this part "but you can see my face in pure" do u mean "in" or "is" also wat happens there? but i thought it was very good, well written 3nodding biggrin nice work biggrin wink whee keep up the good work whee wink
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