Welcome to Gaia! ::

As twilight breaks, the walls I've tried so hard to keep fast have fallen. This night is the night that my great façade will be ended. When tears will fall, and my heart finally breaks. When ice melts on the blackened burning ashes of who I used to be. No more lies will I be fed, only shadows head my call. An army of the fallen is passing me by, and already I’ve chosen to be forgotten. Distant screams only grow, sending shivers through my spine. Lost memories left from a tired tattered mind. It’s amazing how hollow you soul can become once you’ve callused your heart. No one knows this world I treed through, it’s my secret, my nightmare. The only hope I have is a release I mean never to mend. The silent burning of my skin, sweet pain that I choose to keep. This secret addiction that I plan never to get over. The dark hollow beating of my heart urged me to keep going. Time will never heal, it only leaves a half stitched scar. The lily slowly droops waiting for my time to come. It’s like time has finally stopped, and I’m the only one. No more tears will you see from my glazed dieing eyes. I’ve found my path and this time I will not stray. The fire that once burned strong, deep within me is gradually vanishing; flickering in the cooling breeze. God smiles down at me no more. His pain is something I wanted to cause. This being whom I trusted so, I gave my life to him again and again; yet I never knew he trusted what it really meant. Now my sorrow is something for him to reap and once more his heart will be torn hanging from his chest. I watch as my eyes grow dim, staring out at the gathering winds. At that moment I am scared. Not for what is coming, but that I had been hiding from it for so long. My fear was never that I would be consumed and swallowed by the shadows but just simply that they would not accept. As the rush of the rolling winds drew closer I decided what I must do. Nothing else could hurt me, no more numbing the pain. I gathered up my lamp and the small flame that still flickered, and stared at the gathering nothingness and sat. I lifted the hatch and drew in a deep breath closing my eyes as the freezing vast wind washed over my face. I exhaled blowing out the small blaze erasing all hope of ever again seeing god’s grace.