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 Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 8:37 am
I had been dating a guy for 3 years, and it really was love at first sight. Everything had been going wonderfully and he had been talking about us being so perfect together since the beginning. I even left home in Kentucky to go to Florida with him for his graduate school.
Since about November we had been talking about getting married in August, and he had been promising since then that he would propose in February after he had saved some money. I told him it was no problem, that I'd be patient. He continued to talk about it and assure me he had picked out the ring, almost had enough money, etc. At least up until February when he got more quiet about the subject, but I thought he just wanted to make it a little bit of a surprise.
But then...February was over and when I asked him what happened, he said that he just wasn't ready to get married and he broke up with me abruptly. Needless to say, my heart was absolutely shattered. I had told all my friends and family about our upcoming wedding date and had even bought my wedding dress, all with the full green light from him.
Now he says he'd still like to be friends, though he seems to be overly irritated when he sees me and I'm down. He had always been so kind, but he keeps assaulting me with cruel comments about how he definitely made the right decision and he never loved me that much anyway and I was really easy to get over. He laughs at me when I say the breakup was traumatic for me. And then he acts like I'm stupid because I cry when he says those things.
I obviously know that I don't want to be with someone who can treat me that way, as shocked as I am to suddenly see this other side of him. But I don't know how to stop loving him after I had totally given him my heart. It's been a month and I'm really tired of crying every time someone asks me if I'm ok.
Everything feels like a nightmare. There's the grief from losing someone, plus the fact that my supposed prince has turned into this terrible person.
How do you get over something like this?
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 12:19 pm
I don't know much about him, but I'd say he's treating you this mean, to justify to himself his not going through with it it. But guys are strange creatures, and my own situation wasn't quite the same, so I can't give great advice.
All I can say is that the pain does go away. I'd advise you to surround yourself with friends and family that love and support you. Until the hurt dies down I'd advise avoiding thinking about him. Do little things that make you feel better, like taking long hot baths, or eating your favorite icecream.Don't be afraid to ask for hugs.
And know it wasn't you. I kept thinking it was my fault afterwards, but it was him. If he could give you up so easily, he dosen't deserve you.
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