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... I can actually use this forum.

Beware Spewing Vitriol
Thou Hast Been Warn'd

BUT SWEET BABY MOSES IN A HANDBASKET, I HATE COMPUTERS.

This is after I set up the security for one laptop and one computer, and reinstalled the operating system for another laptop. The first laptop had spyware issues because my father refuses to either shell out $$$ for protection programs, or allow me to do so. Freeware/shareware for the freakin' win. The computer has had its operating system reinstalled nearly half a dozen times now because the same man thinks that such action will cure it of any wrongs, real or imagined, and the default security levels are s**t and need to be tweaked.

The last laptop is my headache. Unlike the other two, this is a Mac iBook, and consequently its problems have nothing to do with viruses or spyware. No, the problem is that it cannot download updates because that kind of decision requires endorsement from the computer administrator, who -- surprise! -- doesn't remember the necessary password. I reinstalled OS X just to get rid of whatever crap it has held onto, and all was well.

UNTIL I downloaded ONE game. For the first time, the wonders of Second Life were available to me. HOORAY. I browse the Internet for a while, looking for tips on dealing with their insane scripting program and the system freezes. I manually turn it off, restart, and GET A PROHIBITORY SIGN.

My HD appears to have taken a healthy crap, so I boot it up on the start up disk, to find that the options for destination volume are EMPTY.

According to disk utility:

Disk Description: 309 GB MATISHITACD-RW CW-8123
Conneciton Bus: ATAPI
Connection Type: Internal
Connection ID: Device 0
Total Capacity: 3.9 GB
Write Ability Read Only
Capabilities:

and iBook Software
Mount Point: /
Format: Mac OS Extended
Write Status: Read Only
Number of Folders: 3,133
Capacity: 3.8 GB
Available: 0 Bytes
Used: 3.8 GB
Number of Files: 6,195

I can only verify disk permissions in First Aid, and apparently have no valid packages.

This can only mean that I must drag this laptop to a store that DOESN'T EXIST IN THE THREE MALLS CLOSEST TO MY HOME and beg for their omniscient sales reps to fix it, please. *bats lashes*

*sulks*

That is sad... You must sacrifice twinkies to the computer god, and apease him. A family tradition started back about 5 years ago, when my mom's computer was having major problems. This was around the 4th of July, here in the states. We had a party with some of the family friends, where the idea came up to sacrifice a vergin to the computer god, and twinkies are close enough since it is hard to come by a beautiful vergin these days, and the legal issues over the sacrificing thereof. But twinkies don't count as citizens of any nationality therefore it is ok to sacrifice them.

Methods of sacrifice: Burning, twinkies on their own do not burn.
Exploding, so far this is the best method, especially with fireworks.
(The actual problem and how it was fixed I cant remember but the twinkies must have helped...)