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 Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:18 am
I have suffered from depression my entire life, and it has caused me to push countless people I care about away. I dont know how to deal with it all, it just eats away at me. Part of the reason i am depressed, I knwo is because I am alone, as in I do not have that someone, who my entire life I have waited for. It makes me angry hearing about how happy people have been or r with the people they have dated. I try to not get angry but I cant and then I fall into dispare from getting mad at the other person and for nto having someone of my own. I dont know who I am any more, i am lost with in my own mind, in a battle of emotions. I just want it all to end, no thats nto it, I want it to continue, but I want something to change. I dont want to be alone any more, I dont want to hurt, and yet I want to cry. In crying I can let it out, with out hurting myself, but I have forgotten how to cry, my body wont let me cry, or perhaps my mind, its making me go insane. I need to be able to let out the pain i feel, I need to feel ok with crying. I just...
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:20 pm
i know how it feels even when i try to cry i can't my mind seem to be setled to don't do it, i have passed trhough it but i always try to get over it doing other things maybe i'm wrong putting school, work and some other things before my life but it keeps me away from suffering and insanity, i gotta tell i'm afraid to change myself because i have been hurted so many times, that made me kind of a cold person.
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:32 pm
X-saint i know how it feels even when i try to cry i can't my mind seem to be setled to don't do it, i have passed trhough it but i always try to get over it doing other things maybe i'm wrong putting school, work and some other things before my life but it keeps me away from suffering and insanity, i gotta tell i'm afraid to change myself because i have been hurted so many times, that made me kind of a cold person. No matter what once night comes, it doesnt matter how busy I am. My emotions take over and leave me rittled with pain
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2007 9:15 pm
I too know what it feels like. I try to cry but my mind doesnt want me to.. so i barely have the chance to let my emotions out in the open.... right now, especially right now, i want to cry... but can't...
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 9:54 pm
Omg I want to cry right now to, cause I am so lonely haha how lame am I
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:52 pm
No, its not lame, far from it. I understand exactly how you feel. You see, I was brought up in a family with my dad be a "manly man" and has that "boys don't cry" attitude. He would beat me and physically abuse me whenever I cried, so eventually I have forgotten how to cry. And everything ends up being a mass of pain in my head. Thats why I turned to self injury. Every night I end up cutting myself until I almost pass out, just so that I can forget all the s**t I feel for a while. I know its pathetic, but cutting and burning myself helps me release my emotions. For a while I can numb the pain and suffering that I feel. Its not easy, going through this. I know I sound like a hypocrit for saying it, but stay strong.
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 12:32 am
Well I certainly don't inuure myself because of not being able to cry or to deal with life. I am actually out of my funk now which is realy good, and I have a boy to cuddle with hehe. I wont do anything else but cuddle though, cause I already know he doesnt have serious feelings for me, which is a little sad, but I'm ok with just being friends that cuddle
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