When I look back upon my early living,
when days past quickly past tomorrow,
I remember the simplicity of life --
of eager love, of curiosity, of relaxation.
All my childhood was full of wonderful fun
with no wants, no responsibilities, no anxiety.
The days of innocence are dead.
My once freely given love is blocked
by frustration and anger at those I should respect.
My childly curiosities and wonderments are replaced
by deep answerless questions which tear at my smile and glee.
My life of play and sleep is now burdened
by incredible responsibility placed upon my back by age alone.
O, the days remembered taunt my present life
reminding me of what I lost by visions of laughter --
O, I no longer laugh,
reminding me of enjoying family picnics --
O, I no longer enjoy,
reminding me of offering my eager helping hand --
O, I no longer offer.
Age has put to rest my childly virtues,
buried are my hours of capturing life.
Now I must pursue upon the road
but with no hand to hang on to.
Now I must eat
but with no one to feed me.
Now I must choose between good and bad
but with no one to point me in the right direction.
I am alone in this world
where people are individuals only because of loneliness
and different only because of separation.
My only support is by forgetting my jeweled infancy
and leaving my treasured memories of true life to lay still --
untouched under the earth forever.
I can no longer bear to be taunted.
I have fought the aging years and responsibilities
of my ever-changing life but with no reward.
There is no hope for eternal childhood,
so I am forced to forget -- and struggle on --
for every second demands my every remaining ounce of attention.
I surrender the years past and can only look ahead,
for what lies behind is only dreams.
And I hope -- as I further down the road alone --
that one day my dreams will fade away
so that I may never again have the opportunity
to look back upon my early living.
Quest Together-Stay Together
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