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 Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 11:26 am
Darkzumi
1/2 Elf, 1/2 Smurf
Were-Penguin
His father was an elf who magically shrunk himself to smurf size and had a fling with smurfette. He grew up in smurf village causing mischief and mayhem. He was bitten by a Were-Penguin and over the next week he ate all the smurfs! Now he wanders the land seeking whatever.
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:42 pm
Meefy
1/2 Troll, 1/2 Hobbit
Rogue/Ranger
His mother was a troll shaman who took some blood from a hobbit she caught trying to steal her entire collection of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. She used the blood in an evil ritual to become pregnant. He was raised by a blind archer who couldn't hit beans but taught him well. Their house was on a radioactive, cursed indian burial ground. His 18th birthday was the same day as a blue moon, a planetary alignment of 4 planets, and when ten teenagers were sacrificed by cultists exactly 100 years ago. This caused the house to become extra sharp cheddar cheese. He ate all the cheese and was still hungry so he left to adventure!
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:35 pm
*Darkzumi changes into his Were-Penguin form and starts smashing peoples computers.* "This is what happens when you use Linux OS!"
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:39 pm
Saiyamike
1/2 Saiya-jin, 1/2 Gnome
Z-Fighter / Druid
One night nineteen years ago a Saiya-jin woman had WAY too much to drink and woke up the next day married to a Gnome archer. They ended up liking each other more than expected and stay married. His mother taught him to fight and his father taught him how to pray pranks on people and make mocking songs of them. Then the Energizer Bunny killed his family and ate all of his vanilla pudding. He was kind of annoyed when he found his dead parents, but when he saw the empty pudding cups he swore he'd get revenge on that evil bunny!
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:43 pm
*Sees Darkzumi smashing computers* "That looks like fun! Me smash!" *Rips a thick branch off a tree and starts smashing computers* "Hm, not as fun as it looked. *He runs over to an ice cream van and starts walking to the ice cream man like a zombie, with his arms outstretched* "Ice cream... Ice creammmmm..."
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 11:14 pm
*The ice cream man sees Saiyamike walking towards him like that and hops out of the van. He starts powering up and says "Now I will show you my true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true power!" When he sees no one is impressed he runs away in terror!*
"A'ight, free ice cream!" *Darkzumi eats some chorizo and brownie ice cream.* "Just like grandma used to make. Grandma hated me!" *He spits out the foul tasting abomination and eats some plain vanilla.*
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Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:38 pm
*Hops in a cab and it turns out to be The Cash Cab from Discovery Channel. He rides 56 blocks and when he gets out he got so many questions wrong he has to pay THEM!* "Stoopid cash cab!" *Flips it over and lights it on fire using a lighter and a glass of water.*
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 4:01 pm
*The cash cab guy crawls out of the burning cab and starts screaming at Saiyamike!* "You'll pay for that! Now I can't do my show, and I need that cab to kidnap people!" *He pulls out a rune-covered magic food processor.* "Prepare for battle!!!"
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Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 12:14 pm
*pulls out an anti food-processor shield and waves it in front of her*
"Crap, this won't work against magic food processors"
*runs screaming*
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