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The Male Code of Ethics

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Da_Nuke

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:36 pm


Disclaimer: Even though some dudes may feel like they can somehow relate to these rules, they're not meant to be serious. I'm just posting it for some fun. So, have fun reading it. wink

Hoping that the girls will have at least some understanding of our male culture, I am posting this, which basically resumes our Western male code of ethics:

  • You will not rent Ghost, or Chocolate, or The English Patient, or any movie starring Leonardo Di Caprio.
  • Under no circumstances are two men allowed to share an umbrella.
  • Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party can be legally murdered and have his corpse fed to stray dogs by his party mates.
  • Unless he has murdered a direct familiar, you shall bail any friend out of the jail within 12 hours.
  • Exaggerating any story up to a 50% is legal; if the storyteller goes anywhere beyond that, the listeners have the right to say "Don't ******** me".
  • If you know a man since more than 24 hours, his sister is untouchable, unless he gives you permission.
  • The maximum time allowed to wait for someone who's coming late is 5 minutes. Girls require a waiting time of 10 minutes at least, plus 10 minutes for each look point on a 1-10 scale.
  • No man is required to buy any gifts for another man, as well as remembering someone else's birthday.
  • When requested, it is every man's legal duty to distract the ugly c**k-blocking girl in order to allow his friend to score with the hot chick; this role is known as "the wingman". This action is to be accomplished on a good-will basis, and the wingman will assume any consequence derived from his action, including having sex with the ugly girl. After that, the other man must pay the wingman with a drink, which is the only time where both are allowed to talk about the outcome of their journey.
  • Before dating your friend's ex-girlfriend, you have to ask for permission to your friend, and he must give you the permission.
  • Any woman who likes "watching sports" must be treated as a spy until she can demonstrate a deep knowledge of the game, as well as being able to name at least 3 complete team line-ups.
  • If a man's fly is unzipped, that's his problem, you didn't saw anything. If a girl's fly is unzipped, it is your duty to tell your friends.
  • Any friend that helps you move to another home shall be paid with a drink.
  • Under no circumstances is a man allowed to have a cat, as well as any breed of small, rat-like dog. Having an attraction to his girlfriend's animal is strictly verboten.
  • Your girlfriend shall become friends with your friends' girlfriends within 30 minutes of knowing them. This is not required with the boyfriends of your girlfriend's friends; only a comment about football is allowed.
  • Once you reach a place with men watching a sport, you must ask how's the game going, never who's playing.
  • It is forbidden for a man's girlfriend to tell him she wants one of the man's friends to know one of her ugly friends, unless he has enough time to warn his friend about the event.
  • Drinking those little juices usually taken by women is allowed only in a tropical beach, from a topless girl, for free.
  • Never fight naked unless in prison.
  • If a friend is being kicked in the a**, or if he is too drunk to fight, you must jump out and defend him. Exception: if you've tought "this guy really needs a beating" within the last 24 hours because of his actions, you can just sit back and enjoy, but never beat him.
  • You shall never cheer a man working out on the gym with phrases like "Yeah, that's it, big boy!", "Come on, one more, stronger!", "One more and we're going to the showers".
  • If you offer a compliment to another man, it should not be for his good taste on dressing.
  • In an argument between a man's girlfriend and his friend, the man shall always favor his friend, except when the man risks losing his girlfriend's willingness to have sex.
  • Under only 2 circumstances are two men allowed to speak in the restroom: when spoken to, or when in the same attitude (both peeing, or both waiting). Otherwise, a head nod is all a man has to say.
  • The morning after having hot sex with "just a friend", having a guilty conscience is not an excuse to ******** her again before arguing that was a big mistake.
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:19 pm


-There's a pot of Gold-

  • But I do.
  • unless of course we're kissing under it
  • no comment.
  • not really, hes in there for a reason
  • ill go 51% percent, but thats an exaggerated number
  • who wants his sister when you can have his brother
  • I'll wait a life time
  • you better remember my bday
  • but i'm gay
  • i want his ex boyfriend
  • I can't even do that
  • so true
  • I pay with sex
  • i have both
  • i need no girls
  • ill ask "why haven't you put on Top model"
  • i need no female scream
  • yummy
  • i only fight naked
  • I'll rn for help
  • but thoe are the best ones
  • you dress quite swell
  • girls=yucky
  • I can talk while sexing in the stall
  • wha?

-Under every Rainbow-

Teddy Super Nova


Lucifer H. Marik

PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 11:14 am


eek
PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 4:04 pm


| hiraku kioku | hiraku risei | hiraku sekai |

~*~

No wonder why many women are attracted to foreign men. xD

Your Western Male Code thing is stupid. domokun

Teddy Bear made me laugh. :3

~*~

| hiraku kioku | hiraku risei | hiraku sekai |

The Wayward Star
Crew

Dangerous Explorer


Teddy Super Nova

PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 5:26 pm


Ariadyne
| hiraku kioku | hiraku risei | hiraku sekai |

~*~

No wonder why many women are attracted to foreign men. xD

Your Western Male Code thing is stupid. domokun

Teddy Bear made me laugh. :3

~*~

| hiraku kioku | hiraku risei | hiraku sekai |
-There's a pot of Gold-
Yay. 1 laugh further towards world domination

-Under every Rainbow-
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:09 pm


Ariadyne
| hiraku kioku | hiraku risei | hiraku sekai |

~*~

No wonder why many women are attracted to foreign men. xD

Your Western Male Code thing is stupid. domokun

Teddy Bear made me laugh. :3

~*~

| hiraku kioku | hiraku risei | hiraku sekai |


Of course it is. Some parts of this thing are kinda over the top, and it was never meant to be serious.

But some parts of it can really make a man nod. 3nodding

Da_Nuke

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