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I thought it was very good, though it took a couple of reads to get used to all the periods. Different punctuation might make for an easier read, but that doesn't need to be changed. I really liked the way you ended it with one line, probably because it really put emphasis on that line. It was very good- keep up the good work!

Blind furry provokes every action. Fury.
Fire burns away at the soul. You don't need that "away." Always ask yourself if a word has a function in the poem.

Calming words choke to death, Haha, reference to strangulation? ('s popular. and cool. I like this line.)
Feelings of remorse are absent.

Black and white vision soaked in blood. Implication being that they act as an executioner under God's will or something as absolute, which crumbles under the crime- a would-be good line except the "blood" makes it too easy. You might just want to talk about the "red" because you started with ranges of vision and red's symbolic of passion, rage... AND blood.
There is no turning back. meh.

One cut for revenge,
Two for the hell of it. WOOHOO! GOOD LINES. Creates a reckless mood. Highlight of the poem.

Hands shaking out of rage.
On a face burning with anger, meh.

The sick grin of death. hm... (take out the sick, come on, try it. Understatement is very cool.)

The poem is very good. The strange punctuation helps put more emphasis on the individual lines of the poem, making it more impactful in my opinion. As for bytten's critique on the second line, I don't agree. Taking out the word "away" would strongly alter the flow of words and there wouldn't be enough syllables to make it sound right. The last line should keep the word "sick" too, just because taking it out sounds odd. If you took it out, replace it. Don't leave an empty space where a word could fill. Keep it. The use of an adjective there was good in my opinion.

Oh wow. Very dark. But this is really good. I like the imagry and the words you chose to use. I especially like the black and white vision soaked in blood, and the sick grin of death. Great job!

That's called bad style. You should always cut words unless they have a distinct function in the poem that you can name and analyze. Filling lines with random words is pretentious and wordy.

I don't think the word "sick" accomplishes anything in that line, therefore I recommend snipping. If you have a different reason for wanting the "sick" there, so be it. But I think calling death "sick" undermines its magnitude, because in all honesty, sickness doesn't have the sucker punch of death as a general topic- and why subtract from a line by adding a word?

The poem seemed disjointed to me. Always just a beat or so off. My favorite lines were "One cut for revenge, Two for the hell of it." I think that really gave some insight as to the inner workings of the murderer, whomever it may be.

That was a great poem.
It was a little strange, but I sometimes write that way.
Keep it up. 3nodding