In red are the ones I've witnessed or understand
1. "Vacation" means going to Brandon for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
4. You know of several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You use a down comforter in the summer.
6. Your grandparents drive at 100 km/h through four meters of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
8. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. You know all four seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
11. You are bundled up in three sweaters, a parka, ski pants, a toque, two
pairs of mittens, boots past your knees in 3 feet of snow in a -35 (-8000 with the wind-chill) blizzard, your eyelashes are frozen together, your nose is running, you can't feel your toes, and you still stop at 7 Eleven for a Slurpee on the way home.
12. You still think the Winnipeg Jets are the best hockey team ever.
13. You refer to 7-11 simply as "Sev".
14. You love a cold beer, regardless of whether its -40 or +40 outside.
15. You've been to a birthday party at Discovery Zone and waited in line with everyone else to swing from the cable hit the mat at the end!
17. You've gone to Corydon for gelato.
18. You still remember the Winnipeg Jets.
19. Higgins and Main. Enough said.
20. You've been to Sargent Sundae, or BDI.
22. You can always tell who the Americans are at the bar.
23. You know how to properly pronounce Lagimodiere, Disraeli, and Pembina.
24. A road trip is heading down to Grand Forks.
25. You know where all the red light cameras are.
26. You think "Spirited Energy" is just dumb.
27. Bears on Broadway
28. All directions start with "You take Portage..."
29. The minute it hits 0 degrees, you're in shorts and a t-shirt.
31. Youre out of province and you get ID'd going into a bar and get made fun of for your 'library card quality' ID.
32. You know what a social is. (lol ask me....it's the weirdest thing you've ever heard!)
33. Mosquitoes don't even phase you anymore.
34. You plug your car in during the winter. (it's so weird to see)
35. You've had one of those hot dogs from the vendors after the bar.
36. You've been to Sals. (won't go again)
37. You're proud to be Slurpee Capital of Canada.
38. You WERE proud to be murder capital of Canada.
39. If you don't know Randy Bachman or Burton Cummings personally, you know someone who does.
40. You can argue the merits of boiled or fried perogies.
41. You remember the dates of major blizzards and floods.
42. Driving in winter is easier because all the potholes are filled with snow. (just like home....actually the streets home are worst!)
43. There are always 4 empty cars running in the parking lot of a beer store at any given time.
44. You know that school is never cancelled even during the worst of blizzards.
45. You understand that everyone is connected to everyone in Winnipeg.
46. You know who Dancing Gabe is. (he's this handicaped guy who goes to EVERY SINGLE Manitoba Moose gam and dances lol he's kidna cute)
47. Teemu Selanne = GOD.
48. You still believe the Jets are coming back.
49. You're tired of having to switch into the slow lane to drive faster.
50. When you've been to the Forks.
51.You've mixed alcohol in your slurpee. (hell I did that back home!)
52. You know about Sunday Cruise Night...and have been.(it's REALLY stupid ppl just drive around on Sundays to show off their cars and what not lol)
53. Transcona is known as Trashcona.
54. You know that the Blue Bombers suck, but you'll still defend them to the grave.
55. Only you can make fun of Winnipeg.
56. You've seen a buffalo in real life.
57. Everyone is separated by 3 degrees of separation.
58. You can successfully navigate Confusion Corner. (the bus does it for me lol)
59. You have no problem driving an hour to a party.
60. You try to avoid cabbing to bars at all costs.
61. You've had your car broken into, stolen, or know someone who has.( I know over 5 ppl that this has happened to wich is why my car stayed home!)
62. It snows in May, and you don't even flinch.
64. You know what the LC, The OC, and TYC stand for.
65. You are thrilled to drive to the smallest town possible to find the best party ever...
66. You've pondered why there is a 13' golden naked boy standing on top of your legislative building.
68. You are proud to not wear a jacket when you are in another city and it's -1 and everyone else is all bundled up as if the next ice age has arrived.
69. You will drive to Kenora/Lake of the Woods to party.
71. You have devised new and creative ways to kill mosquitoes.
72. You know more than 1/2 the people in this group, and if you don't, one of your friends does.
73. You have thought of (and perhaps even tried) new ways to outwit the photo radar systems.
74. Corydon. Patios. Enough said.
77. River City Ale
78. You have questioned the purpose of the 'erection' on the bridge - and tried to justify it's existence from time to time - but failed miserably.
79. You get a new bike for Christmas, and have to wait 6 months to ride it.
80. You know what the p***s bridge is.
81. You know all the words to the Weakerthans' songs.
82. The mosquitoe is your provincial bird. (just like home....only worst)
83. You tell everyone at home you hate the Peg, but when you leave it's suddenly the best place in the world.
84. You know the number to Pizza Hotline. (222-2222 how can you NOT remember that?!)
85. You know the exact price of every slurpee size.
86. If you're proud that we make the national news 96 nights each year because Winnipeg is the coldest spot in the nation.
87. If Dairy Queen is closed from September through May.( this one sucks sad )
88. If you start to get a tan line in the middle of your forehead.
89. You don't get to the airport until 1/2 an hour before your flight, yet the airport is so empty that you still get on the plane. With ease.
90. It's early December and you're blown away that the community centres don't have outdoor ice yet.
91. Iif you've worn a wool winter sweater to the bar and totally fit in with everyone else.
92. If you know of at least 10 people that have moved to Calgary.
93. If you refuse to buy a Slurppee from Macs.
94. If you you are apalled by the lack of Slurppee selection (not even to mention the number of Sev's) in other provinces.
95. If you've bragged about being able to drink at 18 to your out of province friends.
96. If you've had a birthday party at Dark Zone.
97. If pay utmost attention to the news whenever they mention something Winnipeg related - triple murder or not.
98. If you refuse to cheer for the Phoenix Coyotes at all costs.
99. If you think paying anything more than $3 for a drink is outrageous.
100. If you've waited outside a store at 5:00am for a Boxing Day doorcrasher sale.
101. If you hate the guy from the Best Sleep Centre radio commercials.
102. If you call it a "toque" not a hat. That's just wrong.
104. If you dream of $9 pitchers at the Pemby.
105. If you actually know that Flin Flon is not a made up town.
106. If you think Winnipeg being featured in the Simpsons was one of the city's best achievements.
107. If you went to the Pan-Am Games.
108. If you find yourself at a cottage every long weekend, and at least half of all others.
109. If you think Global Warming is a total crock...we're still waiting for some changes..
110. If you have ever handled a sandbag.
111. If you know what a "floodway" is.
112. You're amazed that there are hip hop groups in Winnipeg, and that one even has a song called "Peg City".
113. You're proud that Jonathan Toews is from there, and that Darren Helm is from the same province.
114. You've wondered who's bright idea it was to make our buses orange, yet you were outraged when they started painting them white.
115. Ace Burpee is your hero!
116. You have gotten your tongue stuck to a pole or zipper.
117. You're "stuck in rushhour" means an extra 5 minutes to your ride home.
118. You walk into an arena in the winter to warm up.
119. If you've memorized the phone number for both Unicity Taxi and Duffy's Taxi.
120. You pre-game with a 2-6 before going to the bar...in the parking lot.
121. You have no fears about peeing in random spots outside of bars and clubs.
122. The best tobogganing within city limits is down a hill made from garbage.
123. A glorified canal provides most of your winter entertainment
124. You know the exact time in which skin freezes at different temperatures.
125. Realizing that because of the MTS center, your favorite bands would FINALLY have a venue to play in Winnipeg.
126. Its -50C out.. but its also a Friday night...and that sure as hell ain't going to stop you from going out drinking.
127. You have worked or volunteered at the Festival du Voyageur.
128. You're excited for it to be -15 outside.
129. You jumped up and down with glee when Desperate Housewives acknowleged Winnipeg's existence... TWICE!
130. You're SURPRISED when all four lanes of traffic are open [not under construction/being cleared] on a main road.
131. The weather can change from +5 to -50 in the timespan of a week.
132. You know what 'hallowe'en apples' mean.
133. Your family activities are shovelling the driveway.
134. You get pissed off at the person who cut into your lane while driving and never waved in the review mirror.
135. You call it "monkey in the middle" instead of "piggy in the middle".
136. You refer to men's underwear as "GITCH".
137. From Dec to Feb, anytime you walked anywhere while in elementary school, the sound of Sorell boots scraping the ground followed you.
138. The cops stop to let someone j walk in front of them.
139. You notice that the highest elevation point within a 16 km radius is at the snow disposal sights.
140. You know what Folklarama and Folkfest are and go to at least one each summer.
141. You buy a car, and choose the color based on what it looks like covered with slush/snow.
142. You know who Wheeler and Hal are, and are proud that Hal's the 34th greatest Canadian!
143. You know who Mood Ruff and Platinum Black are and know all of the words to Peg City Remix and Rocketship.
144. A trip to the beach isn't complete if you don't see wavy gravy en route! haha.
145. When catching you with weed, cops will actually blaze WITH you.
146. You can't last a concert at the MTS without the scent reaching you.
147. Its the only place where at work you know the kid your age, the one old enough to be your mom , and your grandma all smoke pot.
148. You know what a nose game is.
149. You don't ask why there's plugs hanging out of everyone's car.
150. Your car is equipped with a shovel, scraper, mitts, etc..
151. You'd rather freeze outside of a bar than pay for coat check.
152. You call it a bar, not a club.
153. You see city construction workers on their lunch break at 8:20am.
154. When the city calls Disraeli a freeway.
155. When you brag to your friends in other cities about an underpass.
156. When you enter the north end and it looks like a new city.
157. When you see "road under construction" signs up 3 years after the city put them there. Then you call the city to find out what's going on and they say "we forgot about that."
158. When u can buy a home for $70,000.
159. When its not uncommon to see "Man robs 7-11 and flees on bicycle where he was arrested minutes later" on the front page of our newspaper.
160. When you move away for a year,and come back to your old friends saying "why would you ever come back here?"
161. When you hear Winnipeggers bragging about things like being the slurpee capital of the world and that Fred Penner was born here.
162. When the security guards at portage place where SWAT vests. (SERIOUSLY don't go there at night!)
163. When the two busiest roads, Kenaston and Bishop Grandin, have traffic lights.
164. You're on a drinking team that plays hockey too.
165. You know what a block heater is and what command start is.
166. You brag that at least we’re not Saskatchewan.
167. You don’t stop cursing while trying to drive through downtown.
168. You claim to be part of western Canada.
169. You complain about everything and claim it’s your right, you’re from Winnipeg.
170. You go traveling and are always explaining that we’re not close to Vancouver, Toronto or Montreal.
171. You know how to parallel park on a snowbank.
172. You laugh at Vancouver when the city shuts down because of a light powdering of snow.
173. You brag that we have the best snowclearing in the country.
174. Fashion is the latest MEC parka, accessorized with large gortex mitts, a wool scarf, a toque, sorrels and a shovel. (I have a MEC hoodie)
175. The provincial sports teams are made up solely of Winnipeggers.
176. The gates at the Winnipeg airport are labeled in letters, instead of numbers.
177. The ski hill is a ditch with a chairlift.
178. You brag that at least it’s a DRY cold.
179. You’ve been to the Nutcracker by the RWB at least once.
180. You’re surprised and disappointed to find out we didn’t break a record (cold, wind, snow, rain) today.
181. You talk in terms of windchills and humidex factors.
182. You know the Sun is not a newspaper.
183. You start your car every hour when you can’t plug it in.
184. You’ve gotten a ticket because your car died on a snow route over night and all the tow trucks were backed up until the morning.
185. You can breath without inhaling smog.
186. You can fall asleep at the wheel on the highway, and wake up two hours later to the same view of fields and barns.
187. You know that Fall isn’t a season. It’s the day between green grass and snowbanks.
188. You feel physical pain if you have to go on any more field trips to Lower Fort Garry.
189. You've used the cops as a taxi to the bar...and back home afterwards.
190. Operation Red Nose...enough said.191. You know what Ace Burpee's BBQ Peanut Butter is.
192. You dont use turn signals.
193. You've almost run over a deer.
194. You know exactly how many more free calls you still have to CAA.
195. You've used your ice scraper on the INSIDE of your car window.
196. You've played sponge hockey.
197. You know that one street can have 6 names: (Oak Point Highway, Brookside, Route 90, Kenaston, Bishop Grandin, King Edward).
198. Or 7 names: Dakota, Dunkirk, Osborne, Memorial, Isabel, Salter and Colony.
199. You belong to Team Awesome.
200. You're considered 'naked' when wearing two layers outdoors.
201. You're proud that Winnie-the-Pooh is from there.
202. Everytime you hear an NHL team is having financial problems, you immediately start a rumour that team will be moving to Winnipeg.
203. $10 an hour is considered a decent wage.
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