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 Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 10:48 am
i'm Ly heart or Ly and these are my poems cause their supposed to be in the same thing mcbob so here is one that i wrote like a month ago.
Memory or Dream
Memory or dream
Were you really there?
A figure in the mists of my memory
Or a dream
Of pain and love
A dream I’ll wake from
In a cold dark morning
Where you won’t be there
To say I love you
Reality is harsh
Wounds bleed and souls flee
The ravages of our conscience
A mysterious dream
Of you and me
In worlds unseen
And adventures not yet adventured
But all I see is you and me
Your quiet eyes and voice
Calming my racing heart
I blink
You’re gone
Far away from where I am
And I’ll never get you back
Somewhere you’re not coming back
Memory or dream?
To me it’s all the same
I dream of you when I’m awake
And memories haunt my dreams
Whether memory or dream
I think of you
And only you
I close my eyes and ask again
Memory or dream?
hope you liked it!!! commets are very welcome
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:47 am
I really liked it, the idea was new and interesting, I've never read a poem like that one, and it's well written...
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:40 pm
thank you sooo much, you're the first one to comment and its really kind of you thanks!!! heart
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 4:28 pm
no problem, it really is quite an interesting thought, it's almost like in Dejavu when you aren't really sure if you were in that situation or not...
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 5:46 pm
good poem, reminds me of a dreamI had last night crying
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Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 10:54 am
thanks you really nice people heart heart blaugh
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 6:32 pm
ok another poem, its not edited so go easy on the the critiqing ok? it was quick and stuff, oh and i have something in the composition corner lits a poem and i just wanted to put it there.
well here goes.....
Ever since I saw
Ever since we met
My heart doesn’t beat the same
It skips a beat
It make me choke
If I even think of you
It skips a beat
In the melody of love
When you bumped into me
In the hall we both laughed
Blushing and timid
You helped my books up
And I helped you pick up yours
I bite my lip now
When I see you pass by
In the hope you’ll cast me a glance
Because when you do
My heart doesn’t beat the same
It makes my feel light inside
It makes me blush
It makes me cry inside
When you don’t stand by
When you don’t take my hand
And tell me its ok
It skips a beat still
When I hear you voice
I tap my fingers nervously
Waiting
Watching
To wait for you to see me
Even if you can’t hear my voice
Or see me wave
I hope you’ll come stand by me
And let my heart never beat the same
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 6:35 pm
I like the newest one, it's got plenty of expression
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 7:15 pm
thanks, i like youe avi and dream one, but really thankies for the support
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:53 pm
Hi, Ly. I like both of the poems, the emotion and imagery in them is great. They are very good. the only thing I would tell you to work on is maybe way you connect the lines? you know? But yeah. nice.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:47 pm
thanks yeah they're not finished editing
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 3:35 pm
I liked both the poems. smile I really like free-verse, and The poems flow nicely. The first one almost sounds like a conversation, in a starnge way....don't know why. xd
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Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:01 pm
yeah i guess in a way, thanks for commenting!!! heart
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 1:46 pm
ok another poem becuase i have free time again.... its only ok and its short but its not terrible
NEVER MEANT TO BE
I was never meant to be with you
And you were never meant to be near me
It was written down in stone
That is could never be
But it happened just the same
When you came into my life
You turned on a light
To make the darkness flee
And I caught your hand
And pulled you up
When you fell
We were never meant to be one
But fate can never tell
We overcame the writing
We over came the stone
We overcame fate and destiny
Now we’re happy
Though we never were supposed to smile
But we still do
Hand in hand
Even though its taboo
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:55 pm
not too bad... could be a lot better... but could also be a lot worse.
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