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 Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 1:45 am
hello! haven't been that active in this guild for the past few months since I got here but anyways, I just wanted to ask you guys and gals what are your opinions regarding online relationships and do you think they'll ever work out for the good? mrgreen
Well, I've met this really cute guy on the internet and we both like each other, he lives in the US while I live here in Asia. We both spend a lot of time chatting and using pc-to-pc calls whenever we're online on YM, and I mean really really long time... like 4 to 5 hours or so... 3nodding We are both of the same age and we also both have our own jobs. My dilemma is, I dunno how long this is gonna keep up... I mean yes we talk to each other and we see each other (on webcam), we send pictures to one another but... is this relationship really going to work? I dunno... *shrugs*
Can you help me on this guys? I really need some insights, any advice would definitely be helpful. Thanks! wink
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 6:59 am
I met my current bf (been dating since may) over the internet, though we were just friends till we met when i came home for the summer, so when i left for school in the fall it became a long distance relationship.
and my american friend had been dating a guy in england for years (and while they have met a few times it started out as an internet relationship, and in my opinion is sorta a cross b/t Internet and LDR now).
it all depends if you want to be with the person enough to make it work, if you dont then dont waste eachothers time.
my thoughts are if your both talking as much as you do, and your both mature enough to handle it then i say keep at it, if you both have jobs then save some $ and go vist eachother or something.
Lots of luck!
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 7:50 am
In my personal experience, and the experiences of almost everyone else I know who's participated in online dating, no... they don't sad
...BUT it takes special people to be able to make it work.
If you guys can make it work, good for you. If not, don't sweat it 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 9:57 am
Hmmm well it is hard to say. Most of the time when I start up an online relationship I talk with the people a lot. But as time went on we talked less and less. We all still talk and have great conversations It is just no where NEAR as often as it used to be.
I guess the question is what is your interest in this individual. I mean I sustain all my online relationships I have had some for 3 years now. We may not talk everyday we may only talk for 5 min. but we make the most of the time we have.
Just because you do not talk as often or as long does not mean you mean any less to that person. Sometimes we forget that we all have our own lives in the real world. And sometimes it is hard to get online and talk.
I think that any online relationship can work. But just like a real relationship you have to work at it.
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 12:26 pm
I've never had good luck with online relationships, but I've seen them work for some. If you're comfortable with it, I'd say go for it!
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 7:02 pm
Oh well a new question arises. Is this relationship going to stay online? Or are you planning to move it offline?
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:08 pm
tomoyo_daidouji hello! haven't been that active in this guild for the past few months since I got here but anyways, I just wanted to ask you guys and gals what are your opinions regarding online relationships and do you think they'll ever work out for the good? mrgreen Well, I've met this really cute guy on the internet and we both like each other, he lives in the US while I live here in Asia. We both spend a lot of time chatting and using pc-to-pc calls whenever we're online on YM, and I mean really really long time... like 4 to 5 hours or so... 3nodding We are both of the same age and we also both have our own jobs. My dilemma is, I dunno how long this is gonna keep up... I mean yes we talk to each other and we see each other (on webcam), we send pictures to one another but... is this relationship really going to work? I dunno... *shrugs* Can you help me on this guys? I really need some insights, any advice would definitely be helpful. Thanks! wink That sounds like friendship to me, My thoughts, if you want to be with him relationship wise, it really nevr is going to work, its hard enough to make one work when you live in the same country, but Asia and the US? It just wont work too many miles and way to much money to just go visit for a while.
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 10:50 pm
The thing with online/LD relationships is it's pretty much impossible to casually date someone that way. To put in the time and money to make it work, you're basically skipping ahead to a committed status. It's not easy to do that and not everyone can. If it scares you, then you have your answer.
You have to ask yourself if there's a future. At least one of you would have to move eventually if you stay together. Are you willing to move? Is he? I'm not saying you have to be ready to move now, but if you're both really attached to where you are, that's going to be an issue later. Be realistic. "I'll be happy wherever you are" is not realistic. If you haven't been to each other's respective countries, then you really don't know if you'd be happy there long-term.
Relationships really can only be online for so long. Can you afford to meet in person? I met my fiancé online, but we've been able to visit each other several times a year. He has lived with me every summer too. (I'm in the US and he's in Denmark.) If you aren't going to be able to meet in the foreseeable future, it's going to be significantly harder to make it work.
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Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 2:30 pm
I met my boyfriend online when I was 16, we admitted we were interested in each other a few months after we first started talking and things progressed from there. We didn't meet until the summer after my freshman year at college, when I went to visit him for a month (he lives in Stockholm, I'm in the US). I visited him again last summer and this year I'm studying abroad in Stockholm. This year will be our fourth anniversary. heart
Another one of my friends is in a gaming clan and has gone through guys there like tissues at a funeral. Things start out okay, but eventually breakdown because she always ends up just basically needing them to be around all the time, and they just can't be. The last one she dated could afford to come see her regularly (since he was 28!! and had a job and money and stuff), so it lasted a while longer, but then it turned out he was married, so.
It all depends. I made it because I had a viable plan for meeting my boyfriend, and visiting him regularly after that (he also visits me in the states, too). I'm also absolutely in love with him, and have the patience to go without seeing or touching him for six months at a stretch. I knew I could trust him, and he could trust me. I'm also quite willing to pack up and move to Sweden (to be honest I've wanted to move to Europe since I was 14 anyway, so).
If you're insecure, or just need to get laid, or just don't want to be alone, then you should seriously rethink this. But if you're absolutely 100% into HIM, and you're sure he's absolutely 100% into YOU, then don't let the internets stop you. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 3:44 pm
Well....I met my boyfriend here on Gaia. And he lives in South Africa and I live here in the US. And we have been talking since hm April of last year, and we talked for hours and hours every single day and still do. And we talk on messenger and voice chat and webcams...
...but I didn't officially agree to date him until he came over here to visit. And he spent two weeks with me over Christmas and it was even better than I thought it would be. I was afraid it would be hm weird IRL. lol But it wasn't, we still got along great and had so much fun! biggrin
But yeah I agree with what someone else said...it does pretty much end up going from nothing to committed. He is planning on coming back over here in May and then I will hopefully be going there to study in the fall. And all of that is kind of expensive, plus if you agree to date someone who lives that far away I think you kind of have to look at it from the beginning from the perspective that your goal is to end up living closer together...
So I guess really it depends on how much you like the person and whether you are okay with being apart for months at a time.
But yeah, I think they can work out (or, at least, I hope so!), but they take effort...not like any relationship is easy, but LDRs are less easy.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:25 am
wow. thanks guys and gals for the inputs and advice. I was enlightened... and amused and amazed on all your stories... mrgreen yep i would agree to all that it really isn't that easy to have a LDR with someone who is also from a different country not to mention with a different background. yeah i am rethinking my thoughts and feelings too for this guy... sweatdrop but i know we're still on this getting-to-know-each-other stage so i guess it is hard to tell... but anyways, i will inform you guys if ever this relationship does work or didn't work... Thanks a lot guys! mwah! *hugs you all*
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:28 pm
To me I think they can work however I think that after a few months you really should try to meet this person given I think esp. with the absence of a webcam that this so-called "great" person might not be so great once you meet them face-to-face. Untill you meet them one on one this "great" person is nothing more than a made up person. Don't get me wrong I do believe that some online relationship work however it strongly depends on personal strenght and whatnot.
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Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 9:33 pm
Umm from my own personal experience they've never worked well. I think it's still possible for it to work for other people
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:28 am
They can work, but they take a lot of time and maturity. 3nodding
I met my fiance online a little over two and a half years ago. He live sin Pennsylvania, I live in Indiana. It's been rough, but we've managed to keep it together and grow as a couple. We got engaged in March, and I plan on meeting his family and he gets to meet mine in May, in less than three weeks.
It takes maturity, communication, and trust to make a long distance or online relationship work, and trust me, I know they don't always.
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 11:30 am
I have seen online relationships work with more then just "kids" as someone put it to me. My older brother (he is 45) met his wife of 4 years online and they have a great relationship. I think it doesn't really matter how you meet its how you feel about the other person and if you really want it to work out you can make it.
I met my husband in highschool and soon after that he went into the navy. We had been an online/long distance relationship for 4 years before we got married in 2005. Since then we have been having some issues but we are working through it. Most say most highschool lovers don't make it BUT we are beating some pants off them biggrin
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