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 Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:02 am
I posted this on fanfiction.net, but never got many reviews for it and most of the reviews were things like "OMG that's so KAWAII" and useless things like that. Anybody got something constructive to say?
These Emotions
by 10tailedkitsune (Skye Wen)
Somehow, I never saw this coming. Jaken did, and I know that I should have, but I was blinded by my weakness…by my ‘compassion’. I did not know I possessed compassion until she invaded my life.
She was, and still is, unique. No other human would have dared to stop and offer aid to a demon, pitiful and useless though her efforts were. A powerful demon lord such as me needs nothing from a human child.
In fact, it is she who has always needed my help. I revived her with the Tenseiga after the wolf demons destroyed her village and killed her, and when she was captured by Naraku’s mind slave, Kohaku, I was the one who came to her rescue. It would take only a tiny fraction of my power to rid myself of her presence…to send her back into the realm of the dead from which I snatched her mortal soul. She worships me, as she very well should. Still, there is something about her that bends me to her will and brings my long-suppressed emotions to the fore…
I don’t understand it. A human wench, making this Sesshomaru think twice about his actions? Not long ago, I would have killed anyone who so much as insinuated that such a thing was possible. Now, I see the evidence that such a thing has happened every time I wake to see her endearing gap-toothed smile.
A child. A pathetic human child, one that is orphaned, weak, and unprotected. She offers me no power or prestige…and yet she is the most precious thing I have.
Perhaps, one day, I shall understand these betraying emotions. Perhaps, one day, I shall understand the grip she has on my demonic soul. Until that day, however, I vow this. Rin, I shall always return to the campfire to hear your cries of “Sesshomaru-sama! I missed you!”, and I shall protect you as though you are my own child. One day, I will understand why.
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Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:12 pm
I'm glad to see I have one writer who knows her punctuation. I know you're looking for constructive criticism, but I'm afraid I can't offer you any. It meanders and wanders, just like real thoughts do, which is a total plus in my book. It is incredibly cute, but it's not sappy at all. The only thing that could be considered a problem is the length, but pieces like this are much better off short if you ask me. Sorry I can't offer you more, but this PostNazi is coming up short on things to nitpick.
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Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 11:19 am
Thank you^^. I wondered if it was too sappy...it was an experiment to capture emotion in a short piece. I'm glad to hear it's sweet, but not over the top xd .
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 7:18 am
Considering that it's Sesshomaru-sama, it's awesome. I can't tell you how much I love that you've admitted he has emotions. Most people either make him an unfeeling monster, or turn him into Emo Boy. Gawd, why are these freaks allowed to write?!
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 1:25 pm
No kidding rolleyes . Emo just isn't his style... and it's VERY obvious he has emotions in the series (even if they're mostly jealosy and anger neutral ).
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 3:34 pm
Tell me about it. Sesshormaru's just a cuddly ol' bundle of negativity, isn't he? I think he was given Rin because she can balance and neutralize that.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 12:13 pm
Makes sense, especially since Jaken obviously wasn't up to the task biggrin
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 3:08 pm
Jaken is pure comedy relief.
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