This is my favorite episode. Where Spike hugged a huge cross
SPIKE: Didn't work. Didn't work. Costume. Didn't help. Couldn't hide.
BUFFY: No more mind games, Spike.
SPIKE: No more mind games. No more mind.
BUFFY: (reaching out to touch the scratches on his chest) Tell me what happened to you.
SPIKE: (flinching away from her hand, protectively) Hey! Hey hey! No touching! Am I flesh? Am I flesh to you? Feed on flesh. My flesh. Nothing else. Not a spark. (slight pause, then nodding and trembling) Okay, fine. Flesh, then. Solid through. Get it hard, service the girl. (begins to unbutton his pants obediently)
BUFFY: Stop it! (scuffle, Buffy throws him across the church and into some pews, which shatter beneath him)
SPIKE: Right. Girl doesn't want to be serviced. Because there's no spark. (suddenly, looking around church) Ain't we in a soddin' engine?
BUFFY: Spike, have you completely lost your mind?
SPIKE: Well, YES ... where have you been all night?
BUFFY: You thought you would just come back here and ... be with me?
SPIKE: First time for everything. (brief, dry chuckle)
BUFFY: This is all you get. I'm listening. Tell me what happened.
SPIKE: I tried to find it, of course.
BUFFY: (impatient, cold) Find what?
SPIKE: The spark. The missing ... the piece ... that fit ... that would make me fit. Because you didn't want ... (grimaces in agony and turns away) God, I can't ... not with you looking! (scoots into the shadows, where he stands and paces restlessly in the darkness) I dreamed of killing you. (Buffy picks up a stake and wields it warily) I think they were dreams. So weak. Did you make me weak? Thinking of you ... holding myself ... and spilling useless buckets of salt over your ... ending. Angel ... he should have warned me. He makes a good show of forgetting, but it's here. In me. All the time. The spark. (slowly moving into the light, behind Buffy) I wanted to give you what you deserve. And I got it. They put the spark in me, and now all it does is burn.
BUFFY: (softly, disbelieving) Your soul. (GEEZE ... she FINALLY gets it!)
SPIKE: (laughs briefly, humorlessly) A bit worse for lack of use.
BUFFY: You got your soul back. How? (Is this girl a quick study or what?)
SPIKE: It's what you wanted, right? (looks up, as if toward God) It's what you wanted, right? And ... and now everybody's in here (clutches his head) ... talking. Everything I did ... everyone I ... and Him ... and It ... the Other ... the Thing ... beneath ... beneath you ... it's here, too. Everybody. They all just tell me, "Go." Go. To Hell.
Beneath You
BUFFY: (still gamely struggling with this basic Spike-got-his-soul-back concept) Why? Why would you do that?
SPIKE: (interrupting) Buffy, shame on you. (the rest of this speech is spoken trembling on the edge of tears) Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would never ... To be a kind of man ... (looks at cross on altar, and begins walking toward it) And she shall look on him with forgiveness. And everybody will forgive, and love ... (slight pause) And he will be loved. (pause, then tiredly, softly, weeping subtly) So everything's okay, right? (rests on the cross, begins smoking, leans his face against the arm of the cross) Can we rest now? Buffy ... can we rest? (Ep. 7.02, "Beneath You")
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