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 Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:53 am
I'll start now posting my lyrics and poems here... one after another, depending of feedback ^.^ Starting with merchant.
Merchant
(Inspired by:
The Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour
The Dresden Dolls - Modern Moonlight
The Dandy Warhols - Godless)
27/10/2006
Step right up, step right up
Feel free to look around
The merchant of the lifetime's goals
Is once again in town
Step right up, please step right up
Ladies and Gentlemen
The shot that you don't take today
You might not get again
Step right up, just step right up
I got everything you need
Girls to pretend you love them
And a baby's mouth to feed
I got a great variety
Of gods to grovel them
So step right up, you won't regret
Ladies and Gentlemen
I got some morons, really great
To feel superior of
Boys to assure them faithfulness
And everlasting love
I got subordinates to kick
And guns to kill your wife
And tons of funny drugs to let ******** up all your life
I got some heart-shaped glasses here
'cause life can be a curse
When you woke up from nightmares
But reality was worse
Acknowlegde is on sale today
The prices are quite fair
And look, I got some friends right here
Who think you're always there
I got some reputation here
Today, it's special prize
And if you want to hide your thoughts
I got some great disguise
So buy a whole new you today
And health, heart and esprit
And happyness and lifestyle too
Then love will come for free
Buy friends and foes and sex and death
And drugs and rock and roll
So step right up, just step right up
The price is just your soul
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 6:47 pm
I really love those lyrics, a lot.
Your English needs a little more work, but mybe I can help you with that.
I just can't wait till it's recorded, the way you described it really drew me in.
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Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 8:07 pm
these are good lyrics, and I like the way it's supposed to flow. (correction - i love the idea of the song)
There are a couple of problems though. There were a couple of places where (as i was half singing them) the beat faltered because the words were a little strange. And then there's one spot that it flat out doesn't makes sense. And there is a spot where I think you may have meant "and knowledge" not "acknowledge" otherwise that spot doesn't make sense either. And a few spots you have misspelled words, or they're not misspelled, but the spell checker didn't look at their context.
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