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 Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 9:48 pm
 +...seveileb eno on seil eht gnisahC+Because I know this color is obnoxiously annoying to read, I'll post teh poem in normal. XDD
Dancing
(c) Hayashibara
A porcelain doll
Cast aside
A broken marionette
With it’s sick, twisted beauty
Lonely on the shelf
With no one to love them
The vines twisting freely
Through their distraught hands
Their fingers cracked and bent
At angles inhumane
When no one is watching
When no one is near
They come to life
Dancing, dancing
Dancing through the trees
Their house stands dark
A menacing frame
Against the bright sky
Scenes replayed from days long past
A game of house, a game of life
The porcelain doll
Lonely during night, lonely during day
The broken marionette
With no one to play
No strings to move
No where to go
With no feelings to consider
They are never sad
They are never happy or afraid
Or confused or embarrassed
They speak to each other
Through their eyes
Glass but colored
Meet wooden but painted
Be nice. XD
BTW, might I make a suggestion? Writing subforum. Srsly. XD
If you happen to make one, feel free to move this to it. heart +Chasing the lies no one believes...+
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 5:08 am
I Loved it!
Very Creative, Well Done!
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` S e x y S a r a h ` Crew
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 5:12 am
Loved it.
Great work. heart
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 6:26 am
J'aurais voulu ne pas mourir... heart Ah, lovely, very nice. I have a feeling that my friend, Bleeding Glass Doll, would like it too. You did very well. Is this a place that, perhaps, all could post their poetry? I've got some too. heart J'aurais voulu ne jamais grandir...
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 6:58 am
+...seveileb eno on seil eht gnisahC+Oh, yes, please! Post all your poetry here, but it'd be hard for me to make a poll. D: If you actually want to get ratings on it poll-wise (here you could definitely get opinions, but polls are just so nifty!), you should make another topic.+Chasing the lies no one believes...+
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 7:54 am
Thanks to Donations, I was able to make a writting Subforum!
:D
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` S e x y S a r a h ` Crew
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:51 am
` S e x y S a r a h ` Thanks to Donations, I was able to make a writting Subforum!
:D +...seveileb eno on seil eht gnisahC+Yaay!! heart
But you spelled "Writing" wrong.
XD+Chasing the lies no one believes...+
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:09 am
Hayashibara ` S e x y S a r a h ` Thanks to Donations, I was able to make a writting Subforum!
:D +...seveileb eno on seil eht gnisahC+Yaay!! heart
But you spelled "Writing" wrong.
XD+Chasing the lies no one believes...+ Damn
>.<
I knew I screwed up Somthing this Morning
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` S e x y S a r a h ` Crew
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 10:18 am
Really good!
Critique (sorry, I always have to, don't take it harshly)
In some of the two line stanzas, you rhyme, but in others, you don't. The rhyming scheme (if you tried to have one) is just slightly off.
Good points-I luffles it! It's a really good poem (XP I think I commented on this before in LJ, didn't I?)
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:11 am
J'aurais voulu ne pas mourir... heart Ah, I just ended up making a thread where anyone and everyone can post their poetry as long as they comment on someone else's. That way there won't be a whole bunch of seperate poetry threads....Hopefully...Hey, does anyone here write fanfiction? heart J'aurais voulu ne jamais grandir...
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:52 am
Inzen J'aurais voulu ne pas mourir... heart Ah, I just ended up making a thread where anyone and everyone can post their poetry as long as they comment on someone else's. That way there won't be a whole bunch of seperate poetry threads....Hopefully...Hey, does anyone here write fanfiction? heart J'aurais voulu ne jamais grandir... +...seveileb eno on seil eht gnisahC+I used to, but I don't really anymore. I started fanfiction before poetry and none of it turned out very wood, so I just left it altogether.+Chasing the lies no one believes...+
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:59 am
Inzen J'aurais voulu ne pas mourir... heart Ah, I just ended up making a thread where anyone and everyone can post their poetry as long as they comment on someone else's. That way there won't be a whole bunch of seperate poetry threads....Hopefully...Hey, does anyone here write fanfiction? heart J'aurais voulu ne jamais grandir... I do...Shitty fanfiction, but fanfiction nonetheless.
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._A N G S T Y F U D G E_.
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:43 am
J'aurais voulu ne pas mourir... heart Hm, so I suppose I shouldn't start a Thread for fanfiction? I might just take down the poetry one... heart J'aurais voulu ne jamais grandir...
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