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Story #1:

"Dante's Boring Day"

Genre: Humor / Parody / Drama
Rating (according to FanFiction.Net standards): K+ (ages 9 & up)

Completion thus far: Approx. 50%-ish? Maybe 40%. I'm not sure.
Current length: Approx. 1000 words

Notes: Well, here's the first one. It's kinda crazy. And very sarcastic. Don't take it seriously. xd
I was just having fun with this.

Oh, and just so you know, this is set post-Devil May Cry 3. So that's why Dante's so... whatever he is. neutral Yeah. Anyway, enjoy! whee



Once upon a time, there was a city. Obviously. Anyway, in this particular city, it was a beautiful spring day the likes of which had not been seen for a many, many years. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and the clouds were few and far between. The temperature was warm, and the gentle breeze felt great. The inhabitants of the city were hard-pressed to find good reasons to stay inside, so most of them simply gave in and went outside to admire the wonderful weather.

However, there were still a few souls who wouldn't give in to the call of the outdoors and remained inside. Whatever their reasons, most of them wished that they could go out and enjoy the sunshine... but there were also those who wanted nothing to do with all this "beauty" and "sunshine" (whatever that was), and stubbornly ignored all of it.

That is where a certain silver-haired demon hunter comes into the picture.

When Dante had woken up this fine day, his phone had not been ringing off the hook as usual, but instead was quite silent. He barely noticed at first, and went about taking a shower and getting dressed and such. It was only when he began thinking about what to have for breakfast/dinner (his schedule involved sleeping all day and getting up at around 4:30 in the afternoon), that he realized how unusually quiet it was.

Normally, there would be someone calling him about a demon sighting, or there would be demons breaking in through the front door, causing him to break all of his furniture just to look cool while getting rid of them (which got rather messy, not to mention expensive).

But today... there was calm. And, to Dante, calm equals no work, no work equals nothing to do, and that equals boring. So, basically...

Dante was bored. Horrendously, excruciatingly bored.

After looking out the window and seeing most of his neighbors outside, looking happy, with no demons in sight, he figured he was gonna be in for a long, boring day. And he was absolutely right.

He sighed, and turned away from the window. "Looks like it's gonna be another one of those "nice" days." Or, it actually already was a nice day, considering that the day had really started about eight hours before he had woken up. Geez, Dante, talk about sleeping your life away.

Dante ignored the strange narration that seemed to be speaking to him, and made a mental note to not talk back to it. That would just look stupid, after all. Wouldn't it, Dante?

Dante's eye twitched, and he made a point of striding purposefully across the room and searching on his desk for the piece of paper that had important phone numbers written down on it. He found it, and, after staring at it for a moment, he picked up the phone on his desk and dialed a number.

"...Hi. Yeah, I'd like one large pepperoni pizza, please..."

~+~+~

As Dante sat and waited for his pizza to arrive, he contemplated what he could do to keep himself occupied on what was sure to be a very uneventful day. After about a minute's worth of such contemplation, he remembered that a few months ago he had made a list of things he could do in the unlikely event that such a boring day should ever occur. Lucky him. Now he just needed to find the stupid thing...

He half-heartedly pulled open one of the desk drawers and peered inside it when, suddenly, the doorbell rang! Dante, not expecting this, slammed the drawer shut and quite literally jumped out of his desk chair. The pizza couldn't be here already, could it? He had only ordered it a couple minutes ago!

So, he marched up to the door and flung it open, not sure what to expect.

There on the doorstep stood four teenage girls, three of whom were giggling madly. He certainly hadn't expected this.

He just stared at them for a moment, somewhat shocked, before one of the giggly ones spoke up. "Um, are you... Dante?" she asked in a shy voice.

"Yeah," he responded after another moment of staring at them. Who were these girls? Did he know them from somewhere?

Right then, they erupted into a wave of sound as they started chattering excitedly to one another. He caught bits and pieces here and there, like, "oh-my-gosh-it's-really-him!" but most of it was unintelligible to his ears.

It was when they stopped talking and began staring at him with a strange look in their eyes that he finally realized what he was dealing with. Holy crap, they’re fangirls! With this new revelation came the knowledge of the danger he was in, and he abruptly slammed the door in their faces and double-locked it. After a second thought, he pulled a heavy-duty lock and chain out of a nearby closet and chained the door shut. For good measure, he then dragged a large, heavy cabinet over and propped it in front of the door.

Looking back on it later, he realized that he may have been going a bit overboard… but then again, you never could tell what those crazy fangirls might do, even if it was breaking down a very large and solid, more-than-double-locked door.

He spent the next few minutes listening to the fangirls as they pounded on the door, not feeling bad for them in the least. Fangirls are dangerous creatures, after all.

At this point, Dante was slightly disturbed. He hadn’t seen a fangirl in… years. At least, it felt like years to him, anyway. It had actually been two weeks since he had last seen one. (Talk about a screwed up sense of time.)

Not counting this one creepy gothic girl he often saw out of the corner of his eye when he was out in the city (he could SWEAR she was a demon, but she hadn’t bothered him yet, so he decided to just leave her alone), he almost always forgets about the fangirls, even moments after coming across some. Lucky guy. No wonder he seems so relaxed all the time. He doesn’t remember the fangirls long enough to be worried about them!

But for now, something occurred to him: with the door inaccessible as it was, how was the delivery man supposed to deliver the pizza?




(cliffhanger!) So? How was it? Feel free to give me some opinions! 3nodding

By the way, I honestly don't know where I came up with the idea to have fangirls show up... it wasn't in my original plans for this story. sweatdrop But once they were there, I liked them there, so they stayed in. 3nodding

Actually, I've got the next scene planned out in my mind, now. After I get the next scene done, the story'll be mostly finished, I think. 3nodding Now that I finally know what to do next, I don't think it'll be too much longer before I finish it. whee

Thank you for your opinion, Blue, even though I already knew what you would say. xd

whee Thanks! xd

It's strange. I still can't quite believe I actually posted it.... sweatdrop

its good

so you gonna post some more stories? whee

Post the one where kadaj turns in to a cat! I Love that one!

I think you have read it, actually. Yufa's just getting ahead of herself.

It's the one that starts off where Kadaj dies and then he talks to the Planet about finding his "mother".

It's only two pages long, using a lot of spaces and short senteces...
...but Yufa and I made a lot of crazy plans for it. 3nodding xd