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Didn't really know what to do but I felt that I just needed to get this out somewhere where people are going to read it. Possibly people who have either been in the same position or are in it..

Anyway. Me and my Boyfriend have been together for about two and a half years, for the first 6 months of our relationship we lived about 40 mile apart but then (living at my mothers at the time) she let him come and live with us. It was really nice for that 18 months... I went to college and he worked and we were fine.

Now. I got a place at university, I was really excited that we were going to move out of mum's and into our own flat near my university, £575 a month, i thought what a bargin. We took it. Boyfriend who I will call "Jim" for the sake of anonymity said that he would get a job within a month or two and if not apply for job seekers allowance in the mean time to help with bills and his half of the rent which was the £300, we decided that I would pay the smaller half as I only had a student loan.

First month my father paid for along with the deposit. Second month rolls around and his job seekers hasn't been put through and he hasn't a job so I said "oh ok fine I'll pay it, it's not a problem".. Third month rolls around and he still has no job or Job seekers allowance so I said "ok fine I'll pay it, no problem" again...

It get's to december and still no rent from him.. I am now completely poor and have about £17 to my name and am trying to get University work done. He tries and tries and tries to get a job but no where will take him or give him that "come back in a month" crap.

December 28th rolls over and I can't pay the rent.. so I don't... landlord doesn't notice and I assume he's taken it from my dad's account because he was the guarentour for the flat (meaning that if we don't pay, he does).. all is ok.

January 14th. *Phone rings* I pick it up and it's my landlord asking where his rent is. I make up a lie and say that I thought it went out, and say I'll check it with "Jim". I speak to "jim" about it later and he says that he'll get the money and we can pay it (note still no job and it's not 4 months since he put in his claim for Job seekers allowance and nothing..)

January 15th.
Jim: I don't know if i can get that money, they won't give me an emergency loan because I don't get job seekers.


I am now desperate for any kind of money he can get and it's getting more and more worrying as to whether a 21 year old man can get a job...
I love him so much, the time that we have when it's not filled with problems is wonderful, he's romantic and sweet and funny and couldn't be nicer.. but when there are problems he seems to always leave them to me.

But when I say "Fine move out then" he actually packs his bag to go.. I get worried that when I say that out of anger one day he will actually leave and then I'm on my own..

I guess I just wanted someone to listen...

That's it really...

sweatdrop

have you managed to get anything sorted out yet?

i can't understand why your boyfriend doesn't have a job, there is always work somewhere. sometimes people use the excuse that they get more money in allowances than they would working, but he isn't even getting that neutral
what sort of jobs was he applying for? has he applied to employment agencies? when you're really struggling pride has no place i'm afraid, i have a factory job and get paid minimum wage, but i survive on it.

i'm afraid it sounds to me like he's just not mature enough to face the wide world, and he's more than ready to scoot back home to the comfort zone that he's used to.
some men blossom and enjoy being King of their own little castle when they escape from under the parental wing, but your chap seems to be a bit lost, and unfortunately burying his head in the sand a little.

i hope you manage to get through this ok neutral

best of luck to you heart

Honestly, it sounds like he's taking advantage of you. There is always a job somewhere. Maybe you should find a day where you're free and actually go out WITH him to look for work so he doesn't skip over anything.